She has a bf?

[duh477]

There is a girl that I have had classes with and always talks to me whenever I see her. She always seems to go out of her way and tell me that I look nice. A bunch of people have said to me that they think she likes me. She has always wanted to work with me on group projects and things like that. The only problem is I think she has a boyfriend but he doesnt go to our school her facebook says she does. I would like to ask her to go out or hang out with me but I dont know how to handle the boyfriend thing. Should I ask her? If so how should I approach it she is a really nice girl and I dont have many friends on campus anyway so im kind of lonely. But Could I ask her to come over to my house or go to a bar or something?

[dancingdoc2]

"Duh", you and I have an article listed in the Index, did you know that?

DATING--The Art and Science of Asking and Doing

It is from November 2008! and you are still asking pretty much the same questions.

> A bunch of people have said to me that they think she likes me. She has always wanted to work with me on group projects and things like that. The only problem is I think she has a boyfriend but he doesnt go to our school

I stated over and over that communication is one of the keys to a great relationship. No one is a mind reader, and, being guys, we need lots of "dots" very close together and connected to each other.......

As I see it, you have a couple of options:
1) Walk up to her, chit chat a bit about nothing important, then look her in the eye, smile, and tell her you would (really) like to ask her out and would Friday night be OK, or would Saturday (fill in the appropriate days) be better.

If she happens to be busy, yet would like to go on a date, it is her responsibility to say so and ask for an alternative date and/or time. She may not know to do this, so listen to her reply and go from there.**

2) You can casually ask if she has a boyfriend. Her reply will indicate what to say and do next.

Should she ask you why the question, tell her it is because you would like to ask her out.

** If she accepts your invitation, pick a time and ask if this is OK. Or, you can give her two times and ask if 7:00 is OK or would 7:30 be better (you fill in the times).

As for where to go and what to do, if you already have an idea of her interests, then pick one. If not, you can ask, or, simply ask if she would like to go do thus and such (you pick). If it is a movie, ask if she likes 'a' or 'b'.

You can also be sneaky (read: curious) and before ever asking her on a date, ask what her interests are or what movies she likes as a part of casual conversation.

> I would like to ask her to go out or hang out with me but I dont know how to handle the boyfriend thing.

As for #1, there is no boyfriend as far as you know until she informs you of one. Using "Implied Consent", ASK HER OUT, and see what she says.

> Should I ask her?

If you were reading this and wanting to reply, what would your recommendation be?

Mine is this: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

> Could I ask her to come over to my house or go to a bar or something?

Or something. Save the invite to your house until much later. Bar? Na; tacky, noisy, not a good image of you or a setting to get to know her better.

If you do not know any of her interests, and have not asked, then ask if she is interested in doing 'a' or 'b' with you. If she is interested in going out with you yet does not have an interest in either, use the opportunity to inquire about what she likes and what she has not done in a while--then do that.

If your planned activity includes lunch/dinner, or, a desert after the event, ask what type of food she likes and plan your restaurant or cafe around that. You could also state that you are thinking about 'x' restaurant and is this acceptable with her. As for desert, inform her that you are thing about 'y' cafe or 'z' ice cream parlor....

> I would like to ask her to go out or hang out with me but

"Hang out" may be what you want, yet the term loosely means that you want to spend time with her doing nothing. This is not a good approach. First, the point is to participate in doing some activity together and having fun all the while learning something about each other; second, "doing nothing" means you are clueless and have no creativity or imagination.

See, how important communication is? Why wait until the next time you have class together, why not call her on the telephone
(no texting, no E-mail!) and ask her?

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Cherry Cheesecake]

I know a few single girls that say they are in a relationship online so that every single guy that is slightly sttracted to them doesn't send them 50 messages a day telling them how beautiful they are.....something to think about. Not saying this is her, but if she's flirty with you, she's probably not all that committed to anyone else.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Nor should she be committed to anyone.

Please become educated by reading the articles BEFORE you go haring off with what you think 'should be'.
What SHE chooses to do is HER business, not yours. If she wants to run 2, 5 or 26 guys is her call and more power to her.

[Icedude]

Never, never go for girls from your class, job, close social circle... That will fuck up your life

[Crystalline]

Icedude,

I couldn't disagree more. I married my best friend, and we've been happily married for 9 years.

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by Icedude

Never, never go for girls from your class, job, close social circle... That will f*** up your life

If you are a busy student, classmates are readily available to get to know. Even if you do not date any, you might develop a friendship or two. You might also find someone who will form a study group with you. You can also ask these new friends if they know of anybody interested in dating and if so, to introduce you.

Dating coworkers is usually OK, especially if they work a different shift or in a different department. What is not good is when a boss dates an employee or vice versa.

The purpose of dating is to be able to learn more about one or two of your friends than is possible in a purely social setting. What better place to start looking than from among your circle of friends? What? no one is interested? Then ask each to help you find someone who is also interested in dating and to introduce you. This is called networking.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I realise that other sites, such as askmen, tell you that until she's "free and clear" you should stay well away from her - but, frankly, that's BS said by guys who can't compete.

She is the one with whom you deal, not her parents, her ex's, her bf's, her bff's or whomever - just and only her.

Be well-mannered and civil toward all other persons hanging about but FOCUS upon her.

[raunchy gal]

Yes just go ahead and speak to her,if she's not into you she'll tell you,or it could be the start of something beautiful.I missed too many chances in my younger days by biting my tongue and thinking "why bother,i'm probably not his type anyway".My point! unless you ask, you won't know whether or not they feel the same as you,so just take the plunge,and go ahead and bite the bullet?

[chrisInMs]

I have to agree, ask her out. If she has a boyfriend she might be polyandrous and whether or not you get into that is up to you. It's all mutual agreement and informed consent.

She may turn you down or she may say yes. Either way, it's better then wondering what might have been.

just my $1/50.