Is he playing/testing me..?

[springfever]

Ok, this is kind of a long story.
I have mentioned this guy in some previous posts...

We have met up several times, I would consider us friends, that we have sexual chemistry. We have met up alone several times and with the group of friends...we have also done "everything but" ...which was fun...but I feel too soon, which may relate to the problems with us now.

A month or two ago he sent me a message (wen we were kind of "seeing" each other) that he was still in had strong feelings for his ex (of a year ago), that he did not know where things were going with us, and that he did not want a relashionship atm, so did not wanna lead me on anymore than he had.

I stupidly suggested a sorta fwb type thing coz I did not want a relashionship as didn't have the time an like being single, and that..I wasn't really sure I ever saw him as "bf potential". Anyway, this didn't really happen in the end(long story).

At a party of mine recentally, alot of people noticed that he seemed very protective over me. He intruded himself to my family. Was hurt that one family member did not seem to like me. Jumped to my attention when stupid perv tried it on (although he also did with cuz). Sat looking sorry for himself a bit wen I was with another guy...
...the thing is..after everything that has happpened...I was presuming he didn't like me.
Now wen I speak to him, he just says how X really likes me, and e would be good for me. stuff like that. (X is his freind of sorts, and I may of got with him at the party, which I regret, but was very drunk)

...basically, I am trying to work out if he is testing me by saying this...as in, do I really like him, or was I jus being a flirt or something? Or maybe he genuinly thinks that we should get together. Maybe he doesn't wanna fall out with friend...

[springfever]

oh, he also got with my cousin that night...but after I got with X.

...I perhaps wander if he was kinda trying to make me jealous.

But wenever i bring up anything, he like dodges the subject. I don't know y. I just want to know where I stand...

[headhead]

Ah, to be that age again.

[Brandye]

How would any one who has never met either of you know? Sounds like immature, drunken games all around.

[dancingdoc2]

None of what you described sounds very adult. This is OK, as all of us require some time to try things, try people, and, learn how to interact with others, not to mention, stick to the ideals and characteristics you want in another. These are things most people learn while dating as teens and interacting in groups, then later one-on-one.

You are also describing behavior that makes my point about not being in exclusive relationships with anybody, no matter how many people you date or have dated--until you are ready to settle down and have found what you hope is Mr./Ms. Right. In the meantime people should date many people one or two at a time and learn as much as possible about each and what characteristics, likes, dislikes, values, morals, quirks, etc. they have and what you are looking for.

As I read your account of events, he is too inexperienced and immature for you, not to mention, too protective. I recommend you browse the articles listed in the Index and read those pertaining to dating and relationships.

Relationships are partnerships, and these should be formed by two autonomous adults who desire more than the sum of its two parts, individually. As such the man and a woman forming the partnership do not need to have a "boss of me", so to speak.

It is my recommendation that you move on and give this lad a few years to grow and mature. You on the other hand need more exposure and to date casually and experience the qualities other have in order to decide what you want and can recognize these attributes when that special person comes along.

As you date, exclusivity is implied because if the guy likes you enough to want to build a relationship with you to the exclusion of all others, then it will happen without a binding "contract" or agreement that we won't be dating others. If you are in your teens, especially, or in your early 20's, dating openly even if exclusivity is implied, eliminates all the drama and trauma associated with "ownership" and any breakups if and when they occur.

[Rouge]

MOVE ON.

No guy who likes you will suggest you get with his friend, then sleep with your cousin.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Oh the guy might like her well enough but neither of them are ready for an EXCLUSIVE relationship.

So no more exclusivity - if he gets jealous/protective - just move away, if he persists ask him what is he thinking? It isn't so much "the boss of me" as "YOU said no relationship so STOP acting like you have any rights here, buddy boy."

Frankly, I am waiting for you to stand up for yourself and start selecting BETTER males to play with. NO RELATIONSHIPS...not yet. You see whichever him you want to see when it is convenient for both of you and if you don't then you don't no big deal.

Get yourself three guys and enjoy them and enjoy being single!

[Rouge]

I should have clarified: I meant "like" as in the stereotypical "I want a monogamous relationship with you and am very interested" as opposed to "Sure, I'd have sex with you, but don't like you enough to be exclusive"

[EvilEvilKitten]

We simply differ on the 'meaning' of the desire to be exclusive: you see it as a romantic - "rest of my life" statement whereas I see it as a "I'm insecure and cannot compete so assuade my ego" thing; when it comes to DATING.

[springfever]

Sorry If I made unclear...he did not sleep with my cousin...they just made out...in front of me...so I may of kissed this other guy out of slight jealousy..

It is very childish
I kind of see this looking back :S I think I just needed to write out the situation as such though.

I agree with the whole non-exclusive thing too. Hell If Im going to settle for somone who is not right, and loose my freedom. ...that is generally a misunderstood and minority concept though, which is most annoying. Whenever I get attached to somone...things go wrong...wheras if I don't get too set on one guy, it tends to work out better.
Anyway, I agree lol

As for an update, we are sort of seeing each other again now. But Im gonna try an not get caught up on him, and keep my options open.
...There is a problem on my part as such...has reuccured..
wasn't sure if I should post a question...but I already bought it up before.
It is that he does not "partucuarly like" bjs (I have not t=revisted trying since before). But this makes things kind of difficult for me....I am not particuarly good at hand jobs; I haven't been able to get him to cum as of yet. But I also do not yet want to go all the way, as am still a virgin. He is all to happy just pleasing me, but it makes me feel bead He must be a bit resentful, even if he doesn't say. I have read some of the articles on it...but not much luck.
..I think he is kinda more sensetive then most :S ...I accidentally hurt him once, and now I feel scared case I do again :S

Anyway, didn't no if anyone had any suggestions of tecniques? Or other things we could do?