Is he right?

[Shnitzel]

I have posted before on how I have never had an orgasm. When I went to planned parent hood to get a check up my boyfriend wanted me to bring up to the doctor that I have never had an O. This kinda pissed me off...bc its an emotional thing not physically right? Either way is he right? should I tell the doctor about my lack of O's maybe she can even find my gspot? Or am I right its more of a me thing?

[nuttychick]

Do you orgasm when you masturbate???

[lnt1103]

No, it's not only emotional. Sure, relaxation and attitude are parts of it, but the female body has to actually LEARN how to orgasm. EEK and Brandye will have good, more detailed info on that.

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by Shnitzel

I have posted before on how I have never had an orgasm. When I went to planned parent hood to get a check up my boyfriend wanted me to bring up to the doctor that I have never had an O.

Asking your doctor is fine; however, if you had read thru the Index you would have found several informative articles that discuss the female "O". Please begin there. Armed with the information contained in these articles, you will be able to work on having orgasms.

Each person is responsible for his/her own orgasms. We do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. Boys learn about masturbation and orgasms right out of puberty. Girls--not so much. Girls often learn about masturbation much later if at all. That said, it is important to understand that Mother Nature gives us the pleasure center in the brain, lots of sensitive nerve endings all over our skin, an autonomic nervious system to carry signals back and forth, yet never connects everything together. To do so requires some practice before we can climax.

This kinda pissed me off...bc its an emotional thing not physically right?

Physiological.

Either way is he right?

He is not incorrect, perhaps premature.

should I tell the doctor about my lack of O's maybe she can even find my gspot? Or am I right its more of a me thing?

As noted, it is not necessary to ask your doctor at this time. First, learn how to masturbate and to connect the "dots". After doing this and making the transistion into an orgasmic person, you should be fine.

Your G-spot can be found very easily. All you need is some "book learnin'". It is about the size of a quarter, somewhat ripply in texture, and, located about 2" along the inside wall of the vagina. (My Dr. fee for this is $50. ) Please do not be concerned about the G-spot. What is important is to learn how to have climaxes and orgasms. For this to happen, you need to learn how to involve all of your skin (it is the largest sex organ you have), not just the tip of the clitoris, the shaft, Labia Major and Labia Minora, etc. For this to happen you need to set aside some time each day for some self pleasuring. Once you can masturbate and climax regularly and consistently, then you can show your boyfriend how to help you by guiding his fingers with yours--and giving him feedback. All this is covered among the several articles dealing with the female orgasm. Go to the Index, now.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Brandye]

OK, you have never had an orgasm. Neither have one-quarter of the women you see walking around. Emotional, physical, whatever. Most of us learn to reach orgasm through masturbation. That is mostly physical but a good fantasy or imagination helps. Then with a partner, how expert of clumsy he may be takes a backseat to how you feel about what is going on. For the male, reponse is more physiological but for us, response is more emotional.

Check out the stuff on female masturbation here; check clitical.com; get a copy of Our Bodies Our Selves and figure out how your body works. Forget the G-Spot and the fancy stuff; go to work on what feels good and add a vibrator if you wish. Lying in the tub or in bed before sleep are great times to simply explore what feels right.

Unless you are seeing a doctor for sexual dysfunction, you will get little input there. What you bring up with your doctor is none of your b/f's business. He seems to be telling you to get fixed when there is nothing wrong with you.

[Shnitzel]

I actually have read a lot on having O's but idk its hard for me to take actions. Even in masturbating I don't think I had an O. When I think of orgasms I think of a big explosion, but a friend told me every girl doesn't have those. He said I have small O's if this is true I am very very sorry for taking up everyones time.

[Shnitzel]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Unless you are seeing a doctor for sexual dysfunction, you will get little input there. What you bring up with your doctor is none of your b/f's business. He seems to be telling you to get fixed when there is nothing wrong with you.

Thank you for that I do feel like there is something wrong with me. So this kind of made me feel better.

[Brandye]

We are women. We have big ones; we have little ones; we have all different kinds. Sometimes the earth moves and sometimes we heave a big sigh. They are all just fine. You are you and not someone else's idea of you.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Okay, let's take this step by step.

An orgasm is the flexing of the pc msucle and the firing of associated nerves. Thus it is a physical thing. Women, being more complex creatures, do have an emotional component to it however so you have to get a good attitude and a good fantasy going.

Now then: I recommend getting a small vibe - the one with the flat head. This is not meant for insertion, this is only for clitoral stimulation. Wet the head and apply to your clitoris. Focus your mind on your fantasy and RELAX. Breathe deeply and slowly. Let the feeelings roll on through you and keep going until you feel the pc muscle flex - it is unmistakable.

Back off, continue breathing, relax some more and then try it again.
Remember, there's no rush and this isn't the Olympics - no one's keeping score. Take your time to train your brain.

BTW there's nothing wrong with you. Since women do not need to have orgasms to have children, the system hasn't been hardwired in by evolution. You have the hardware but the software has not been activated, as it were. That you have to do yourself.

All in the absence of a medical condition.

[Shnitzel]

OMG thank you!!! its my lack of fantasy thats it! because my mind drifts alot. Wow thank you, I need to watch more porn or read romantic stories to help me out a little bit. yyayayaya

Thank you Thank you Thank you
what you said has never click in my brain be4 until now!