Great Relationship gone wrong for no reason..

[creamybeaver]

I started talking to a girl online about 4 months ago. We sort of knew eachother because she knows some of my friends, but we didnt really know eachother properly.

Anyway i first met her when i picked my friend up from prom. I liked her but i had no idea she liked me until we got talking online. We exchanged numbers and started texting eachother and hit it off straight away. She told me she just split up with her long term boyfriend, and she told me that she really likes me, and that she has done since she saw me at this prom, but she couldnt do anything about it because of her then boyfriend.

After talking constantly online and over the phone we decided to go to the cinema's to see a movie, which we never really watched because we were too busy snuggling up and kissing (nothing sexual) then after we went for a walk in our local woods. So basically it was a perfect first date.

We got back to talking online and over the phone, and eventually decided to go to the cinemas again, and i was right looking forward to it until she asked me if we could give it a miss, because her Ex was constantly texting her and phoning her and if he found out he would have caused all sorts of problems which is fair enough.

Anyway after talking constantly online and over the phone we both found out we were both going away, me for 10 days then her for a week straight away after i got back so we knew we would have alot of time apart. So we decided to meet up a few days before i went on holiday, i went to her house for an hour and we had sex, which was amazing.

At this point everything was going perfectly, we arranged to meet up at hers again when she got back off holiday which we did and it was amazing, we felt so right together. We agreed to take things slow, meaning she didnt want to be together yet. I agreed because everything was going perfect. Apart from the fact that her ex was constantly being a nuisance.

All of a sudden, a couple of weeks ago everything changed, just like that, literally. She hardly really wanted to talk to me. She said she had a lot on her mind like college work and missing her sister (she's at Uni down south). And she asked if we could end it, which was news to me cos i never thought we were together, and she said we were but we never really talked about it, which was news to me.

Anyway yesterday my friend told me about this lad at college and how he really likes her and he's been told by someone that she likes him. I've questioned her about it, and she told me its not true and that she only see's him as a friend, and that he wouldnt have a chance anyway because he's been "getting" with some of her friends.

We arent on the best of terms now, i think its safe to say that im annoying her at the minute, but in my defence i just dont understand whats going on and why everything changed all of a sudden. Is there something she's not telling me?? I just dont have a clue whats going on. I always used to ask when we would next see eachother but she just said "don't know" and i would suggest days, and things to do but she didnt really seem bothered.

I said that we should stop talking so she can get her head sorted and maybe we could get back on track, and she just said "maybe".
So i really dont have a clue what to do or say, so any advice would be appreciated. I do really like her, infact i love her, we've both said we love eachother (before everything changed).

Thanks.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Welcome to Rebound!

Ok first clue - her ex was being a nuisance. Frankly, it is easy to get rid of an ex but she didn't which means SHE'S NOT OVER HIM YET. What you do is up to you but I'd tell you walk away because she's not ready to think straight.

After breaking up with her ex, she felt all bruised. What she did about that was reaffirm her attractiveness and thus rebuild her ego with you. Now that she's all assured that she can get a guy, she's moved on, gone out, and got a guy. Another guy. This is what some people, both males and females, do.

Do not feel that you've been 'used'. Think of it this way - you invested four months of your time and got laid twice and it was good. So no complaints.

If she had been serious about you then she would have figuratively kicked her ex in the teeth so badly that he'd never even want to think about her again. She didn't so she wasn't.

Next time, don't wear your heart on your sleeve. A mere 4 months does NOT a relationship make.

[lnt1103]

CB....honestly....did you or did you not think you were together with her? Truly think about that for a minute.

Because if you weren't together, there's no reason for the jealousy, right? She was never yours, right? She can do what she wants, right?

Anyway....EEK is spot on about this being rebound syndrome. And she's spot on about don't feel used, because often it's not even on purpose. Many times, all the person knows is they're hurting, and this takes the hurt away, and often the person that's on the rebound truly does think there's something more in that relationship than a simple rebound. But I'd go one further that simply not to feel used. For however long it lasted, you were there for her. She'll never forget you for that.