how to deal with crazy girls?

[stlou87]

(I mean no offense to any ladies in here.)

I recently had a fling going with this girl...we had been spending time together, alone and with mutual friends, and we started sleeping together about a week ago. Her name is Lyn.

I think its also important to note that I'm young, in college, and just wanting to have fun. I like her but from the start of this we agreed that we were not going to be "dating" (in the sense of being gf/bf) or officially "be together." At the same time, if we were going to sleep together she wanted me to know that if she was not going to hook up if I was seeing other girls. Basically, I'm not allowed to hook up with other girls if I was sleeping with her. This is fine with me, because thats not that way I am anyways.

Regardless, last night I ended up at a bar with some friends and another girl who I have had some slight interest in starting flirting with me. Lyn was there too, and I had been talking to her too but we eventually got separated and I found myself flirting with this other girl. It was harmless flirting...I could tell she was interested (and kept dropping hints about going home with me) but I wasn't going to do anything because I had promised Lyn I wouldn't. Fine, right?

So eventually I excused myself and went over to talk with some buddies of mine. I noticed Lyn storming out of the bar, looking really pissed. I saw one of her friends follow her out and so I just left it, returning to my conversation with my friends.

Ten minutes later I get a text from her saying: "Go fuck yourself"

Wow right?

What have I done?

I send one back: "Excuse me?"

She responds "We're done"

At that point I was confused and fairly angry that she had flipped out, especially since I hadn't done anything.

I called her to see whats wrong and she exploded at me, saying how she had saw me flirting with the other girl and how that was not cool. I was speechless...it wasn't like I was going to sleep with her. It was harmless. I was drunk and I told her that I thought we should talk about this when we're both sober. She was still angry and hung up on me.

I don't really know what to do. I like her but if shes going to freak out for this little thing then I don't think I want to be involved with her. In fact I know I want to end things because we have a lot of mutual friends and I really don't want this to get any worse. Any advice on how to "let her down" easy?

She did just get out of a 3 year relationship recently, and I think this is kind of rubbing off on me. I think she wants the stability of a relationship but can't handle where we're at right now. I really want to back off and let her figure stuff out before anything else happens, although to be honest I think it would be better if we were just friends for now.

Any advice?
Thanks!
(Sorry I wrote a lot!)

[Browser]

So... you're sleeping with her exlusively with the big caveat that you're not dating and you're not sure you want to be involved with her? Just walk.

Unless, of course, you might have developed feelings like you think she has.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Okay this is stupid.
Frankly, Lyn is too idiotic to be dating ANYONE right now.
Drop her.

Now then, what you did was you didn't consider Lyn's 'feelings'. She felt that not only weren't you to hook up with anyone else but that you weren't even supposed to notice that there are other women in the world (blah blah blah) which is rather silly.

Now then, if THIS hasn't cured you of "being exclusive when not officially bf/gf" what will it take?

The next time some girl says "me and no one else" - decline the invitation.

You do not want to enable her jealousies and insecurities; you want to enforce your NSA status, you want to prevent having to "be the bad guy".

What you do when you're NOT with her is your business and yours alone.

For the record, Lyn isn't "crazy" - she's just jealous, a bit stupid, and insecure.

[headhead]

Ms. Kitten and I are on the same page here. So you're attracted to her and she's willing to have sex, but you have to be exclusive, and by the way: she's not going to be your girlfriend. I'd say you've given in quite a bit at that point.

And she doesn't want you flirting in a bar. Perhaps she wants to keep you on a leash until she finds something better? You don't want to go there.

I have no doubt she's suffering from her last breakup. You don't have take abuse for her anger.

The only thing I could add is why should you ask how to "let her down easy." She already said you're "done." You ought to be glad you're off the hook. Consider yourself lucky that you know the story now rather than later.

[stlou87]

In retrospect I probably shouldn't have given into her original wishes of being exclusive.

I talked to her yesterday to hopefully clear the air. She actually took it pretty well...I told her that she had really freaked me out last night, that I was sorry for making her feel uncomfortable but that right now I think it would be better if we remained friends.

She agreed, but to me it looked like it was more of a "I'll agree with you now, but I'm going to cry my eyes out later over this." Or something similar.

Or something similar happened.

Later that night I was in my apartment with some friends. Most of my close friends and I live in an apartment block close together, so almost every weekend there's always some kind of party going on. I wasn't drinking too much (two glasses of wine), just hanging out. I was actually talking with another girl who I liked. Lyn came over, saw me once again talking with another girl and stormed off again.

And once again I receive two nasty text messages.

She essentially listed off a few girls I've been involved with over the past 4 years or so and called me a "lying, tiny prick." I didn't want to exacerbate anything so I didn't respond to any.

I later learn from a friend of mine who Lyn had talked to later that night that she had been trying to pry information out of him regarding me, and that she was going to go get tested tomorrow.

Why does she have to be so nuts??

I've always prided myself on knowing well all the girls I've slept with (meaning that they've been clean and trustworthy)...I've never really had a one night stand. (Well once, but it was a one-time-best-friend-I've known-you-forever type of thing.)

Thanks for listening.

[demonbuttercup]

Yea being "exclusive" kinda defeats the purpose of having a FWB?!?

And since apparently this chick is in your circle of friends and will eventually be hanging around where you hang around.. it looks like you'll never actually get to talk to another chick w/out her flipping out.... I guess maybe she wants something MORE than what you want... that's why she gave u the rule of being exclusive? and why she gets so upset if you are talking to another girl.
I'd just tell Lyn sorry but the arrangement we made just isn't working out... but it sounds like she's the type that would sabotage any future dates you might have? by telling girls you are talking too.. any dirt she can find on you!
Sorry dude... not sure how to get out of this one! lol

[EvilEvilKitten]

Now is the time to learn how to ignore a person to the point where he/she no longer even exists.
You don't see her when/if she's there.
You don't hear her when/if she speaks.
When/if people talk about her, you don't hear that either.

Mark all her emails, IMs, and texts as SPAM and block her number on your phones.

Because life is too short to waste it on prissy princesses who think their vaginas are made out of gold.

[funinthesun]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

vaginas are made out of gold.

More like dynamite.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Lyn certainly thought hers was made out of gold.