Making The First Move

[kd523]

So there is this guy I see a couple times a week because he works at the coffee shop near my place that I usually hit up on the way to school.

He is really cute, and we always make alot more eye contact for longer than is socially acceptable. He seems really shy. I am really tempted to just slip him my number one day as I am leaving (which is a first for me). Is that a turn off for guys? I have heard stuff about it taking away from their male ego...I am just not sure. Bad idea or good idea?

I guess the worst that could happen is he doesn't call me. If it gets too awkward I can always get my coffee somewhere else.

[BigAznMan]

Damn, I always seems to make alot of eye contact with girls at my job. I am a sushi chef and i do want to get hook up with the girls that i want to go on a date or whatever the case is.. I wish them girls gave me their numbers so i don't have to be dissapointed at myself after they come by in n out. I never had a date before but i am not a virgin...

[Massdebator]

I don't see how it would be a blow to the guy's ego, but I'm not the type of guy who is uncomfortable with handing over the reins either. Some might take it as an ego boost even. If an attractive woman casually slipped me their number and walked away gracefully without looking back, I would certainly be intrigued. However, given that you believe this one is shy, he might fail to call for the same reasons that he has thus far failed to introduce himself or break the ice. Don't take it personally if he doesn't use the resources you give him.

Edit: Oh, and welcome to SexInfo101.com Forums!

[2little]

i say do it. there is no loss out of it. only maybe it might take him longer to make your coffee in the future.

but from my experience and from the "new age" of dating, women can take the first step now and many man either find it a turn on, or don't care.

Originally Posted by kd523

I guess the worst that could happen is he doesn't call me. If it gets too awkward I can always get my coffee somewhere else.

don't make it awkward, if he doesn't call, he doesn't call. I mean your hearts not set on him yet, you don't really know him yet.

I am a huge coffee drinker (possibly 3 pots a day, i know it's not good for me) and i know it is hard to find a good place with consitancy when it comes to coffee, so do not switch shops just because he didn't call you. I personally wouldn't take it to heart, he might have a gf or just don't have the time.

[Brandye]

If you have a card, hand him one; if not, print one up. You are each trying to figure out how to make contact and that can last forever if someone does not move.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Give him your number and stop worrying about it.

He may not be shy, he may just feel the need to be professional - you are contacting him at his work after all and you don't know his situation there.

So don't read too much into his reluctance to hit on you while working.

IF he is interested, he'll call. If not, then he won't. But at least you will have your answer.

[VanellaSchnella]

Do it!!!!!!!

[arutha]

Ahaha, if he is shy and too timid to even talk to you there is no way he is going to get the guts to call you if you give him your number. Sorry, but thats the truth. A much better approach that is much more likely to get you the result you want is to start up a conversation with him, introduce yourself, be calm and comfortable around him, flirt a little, touch him on the arm, show him that there is nothing to worry about and if you get nothing, then don't give the number. Try chatting a second time, after he has had time to realise you are flirting, then give the number. He will be a lot more comfortable than if you just give him your card or say something like 'hello, here is my number'.

Or, if EEK is right and he is just being professional and actually is confident, after your first chat and flirting he will ask for your number, even better for you.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Arutha - why do you always have to do things the hard way??
Giving him her number will answer all of her questions without any further effort on her part. Then she gives him a week - no call from him, he's not interested so she can then direct her energies to a more appreciative audience. The cold shoulder he then gets from her wil be his reward.

If he does call, then that''s proof.

All questions answered for very little effort.

[arutha]

There was a time a few years ago where if a girl gave me her number, there is absolutely no way I would have called due to nerves not due to lack of interest. And I know several others exactly the same. Sure its easy once you actually do it and realise that you feel much better even if you get rejected just for trying than you would have for not trying, but hey not everyone has gone through that yet.

Eh, I guess if he works in a coffee shop he gets a good amount of social interaction, your way is probably easier. But don't you think if he was interested he would have taken the initiative by now?