Where is this really going?

[Webby]

I met a new man in May and we've been on and off since. Our problem is we never see eachother. I maybe see him once a week or every two weeks. We live in the same city about 15 mins driving distance apart. He works early mornings so he's very tired at night yet i don't think this is any excuse not to see me even for a few hours. None of my friends like him for this reason, as well as they never get to see him cause he doesn't come out that much (he says he's over his partying age.) or at all. I have never met his friends. Alot of his family and friends are passing away and most of his co-workers got laid off so he's had alot on his plate, but how can I be there for someone I never see? I haven't liked someone this much since my ex of 2 years so I think this is why I've been hanging on this long. Is it worth it? I'm not really happy, but he thinks the relationship is "alright". Should I honestly just end it?
Sorry if my problem seems childish, but I haven't been in the dating scene very long.
Thanks.

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by Webby

I met a new man in May and we've been on and off since.

DANGER DANGER.

Our problem is we never see each other. I maybe see him once a week or every two weeks. We live in the same city about 15 mins driving distance apart. He works early mornings so he's very tired at night yet i don't think this is any excuse not to see me even for a few hours.

How old is this "new" man? If he really liked you, if he was really into you, he would be looking for reasons to be with you.

None of my friends like him for this reason, as well as they never get to see him cause he doesn't come out that much (he says he's over his partying age.) or at all.

Friends tend to have a unique ability to see things from a different perspective as well as some distance. Your friends should share their view of him with you.

I have never met his friends.

Why? Does he have friends? Does he not think they are worthy enough to meet you? Does he think you are not worthy enough to meet them?
DANGER DANGER

Alot of his family and friends are passing away and most of his co-workers got laid off so he's had alot on his plate,

OK, but with a healthy relatioship, a couple pulls together. For whatever reason he is not and this is also a danger sign.

but how can I be there for someone I never see?

You cannot, yet worse, he apparently does not want, need, or desire your company or support except on his terms.

I haven't liked someone this much since my ex of 2 years so I think this is why I've been hanging on this long. Is it worth it?

Do your friends' opinions matter?
Based on the above, do I need to answer this question?

I'm not really happy, but he thinks the relationship is "alright". Should I honestly just end it?

Yes, in my never to be so humble opinion. How can you like someone this much and not really be happy and want to continue?

Of course he thinks the relationship is "alright". He's got just what he wants with little regard for what you want. He's happy and this is all that matters to him.

Sorry if my problem seems childish, but I haven't been in the dating scene very long.
Thanks.

Your problem is not childish, although, I do believe you should listen to your intuition and your friends.

[lnt1103]

He's nowhere near as invested in this relationship as you are. Sounds to me like you need more of an investment from him, and he's not willing to give it. Move on. His loss.

[EvilEvilKitten]

This is an easy one!

He just isn't into you...yet. Do you want him to be? No matter, my instructions will be the same whether you want him or not.

Do NOT be exclusive. Do NOT chase after him - no phone calls, no leaving messages, no texting - if he calls you - ok, you can chat, but you do NOT call him. Remain friendly but a bit LESS available.

Yes, I know your kind and caring heart wants to reach out and wrap him up in your love but you can NOT do that without leaving your heart exposed.

He is a man and they deal with stress differently. You are his 'escape' and right now he's thinking only of himself. By being so open and available, you are permitting him to do so. So STOP being so open and available. He will notice. He may become angry etc. Nevermind - he's just venting his insecurity - don't listen.

Strange as it may seem - the above WORKS.

He will think of you and desire to see more of you.

[Brandye]

See all above! Especially the subtle danger signs Doc puts up.

This is heading one of two places:

1. Continued frustration for you.
2. A crushing defeat for you.

But, only if you let it.

[Rouge]

If he really wants to spend time with you, he will. Word of advice: Get off the string he has you on.