Unsure

[lnt1103]

This proves the point that she confuses herself as much as she confuses you. Part of her wants you in her life, but part of her is afraid to let you in. She's having trouble reconciling those.

The decision is on you, but if you go for it, remember to tread VERY LIGHTLY and VERY SLOWLY and follow HER lead. Keep it simple and keep movements slow and small--like you're trying to sneak up on a bunny. Sudden large movements will make bunnies bolt.

[EvilEvilKitten]

No, this is not confusing at all, Sek. In fact, this is 'textbook' flaky young chick. You have no doubt heard of 'buyer's remorse'? Well, this is something similar called 'break-up remorse' and it afflicts almost everyone. It is also similar to how the fish who got away was sooo huge, man! Trust me! I've never seen a (insert type of fish lost here) before!

Do NOT go back to her.

She's feeling lonely is all but she'll get over it.

If you go back, she'll just treat you to more of the same since your return just validated her treatmen of you in her eyes. Your actions would have told her it was okay.

[Sekcboi85]

Well, we had a really long talk and I basically laid out a few things that I won't accept anymore if we get back together. She seemed sincere so I guess I will give it another shot. I also know now that I shouldn't be so pushy and should slow things down a bit with her. That should be easier since I just started school and won't be able to see her as much anyway.

Well, this might turn out to be a mistake but I am willing to accept that.

Thanks for your opinions and advice, they have helped me see things a lot clearer.

Btw... That bunny analogy was pure awesomeness Sneaking up on a bunny, lmao!!

[lnt1103]

I thought about using a fly instead of a bunny, but generally we don't try to catch flies, we try to swat them, and that's not what you're after

[EvilEvilKitten]

The actual expression is "Softly, softly, catchy monkey."

[Sekcboi85]

Well, I must say that things are pretty peachy since she came back to me. Shes treating me great and we have not even argued at all. We had a long talk about some of her past troubles and she has agreed with me that she should see a therapist. This is very exciting to me because I think it can help her get past a lot of the bad things that happened in her life which are holding her back. And EEK mentioned that it might help the big "O" problem as well which would be a lovely bonus

Well, just thought I'd update you all since you have helped me so much.

[lnt1103]

Glad to hear it. Just remember to tread lightly.

[Sekcboi85]

Well, turns out I should have taken your guys advice and just not went back to her. Things didn't stay good for long. She treated me really well for about 3 weeks and then the same behavior returned. And she basically told me she doesn't care about my feelings at all. No empathy or compassion from her at all.

Oh well, guess I learned my lesson about the young, insecure, confused girls.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sek - she will grow out of it once she meets up with the guy who will stomp all over her feelings without remorse. She may even call you years later to apologise but still - don't go back is usually the best option.

[Sekcboi85]

Yeah, I guess I wanted to stay in the relationship because it was a good experience for me even though deep down I knew that it would never amount to anything really serious. At least I learned that I need someone with a lot more ambition, direction, and maturity in their lives.

Well, thanks for the help.