Bare with me

[Wrave]

There is this girl that I am really digging right now. Her and I have been talking for a couple of days, and everything is just seeming to click. Similar interests, desires, hobbies, etc. Only problem is that there is an hour and a half of driving between us. Her and I really want to pursue this, but we are not sure it will work out. I have never felt this way about a girl ever.

I need your advice. Should we or shouldn't we?

[dancingdoc2]

> Her and I have been talking

"She and I"...

Much has to do with your ages, whether you are working, or, are in school.
High school? College/trade school?

Do you drive and have transportation?

If you are in school, I would say that a relationship is not practical. You simply do not have enough free time to devote to a relationship. In addition, if one or both of you are in school you have different friends and interests that make it hard to integrate.

If the two of you are out of school then your chances are much better. If you have a vehicle and can afford the gas in addition to the cost of dating activities than the next question is whether or not the two of you together believe a relationship is worth pursuing.

[its_legal@16]

i've learned never to leave love, always try, and see how it goes, the saying goes it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved. yeah it will hurt more to lose it but at least you had it my friend

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sorry but that's waay too far for a relationship esp. one that is just beginning.
I'd say 30 minutes maximum travel time for those in a metropolitan area and 45 to 60 in rural areas should be your limit.

Why?

Because to begin a relationship, you need to spend a lot of time with each other. Something on the order of three times per week for at least 3 hours at a time. Does spending 9 hours on the road for 9 hours of conversation every week for a total of 18 hours per week sound reasonable to you? Please note that this does not include the time you spend bathing, dressing, and preparing for your date. And of course - there's your available transportation and all of the costs which Doc has already covered.

You have spoken to her? In person? I regret having to tell you but you can share all the hobbies etc. in the world and still NOT build a relationship out of this. You have to meet in person, in the flesh BEFORE you even think 'relationship' let alone begin one because if there's no 'Chemistry', there's no chance of a relationship. No Chemistry = No Relationship.

Which leads us back to my first paragraph.

So. Exactly how desperate are you?

[its_legal@16]

you don't need to look for other people approval, you know what you are going to do because only you really know how you feel, you should just do what YOU as a person feels is right, because come on, it's your life, its easy for us to look at this as a calculated experiment, reviewing all the data and then giving you a calculated answer, but it just doesn't work like that, i was in a serious relationship with someone in France where i live in England, i barely got to see her, but she was still my best friend, and still she is the only person who really knows me other than myself, so if you want my advice, don't take any advice, do what you feel is the right things

[EvilEvilKitten]

He wasn't really asking for advice - he was asking for opinions.

Now you are "all for love and the world well lost" whereas, both Doc and I are more "think this through before committing yourself".

Most of people's problems is not thinking things through before they go leaping into something - esp when it comes to sex and relationships.

[lnt1103]

It CAN work....sometimes. Mine has and it started 180 miles apart. A couple days isn't nearly long enough to be thinking like the OP is when it's that way, though. They've not spent anywhere near enough time getting to know each other. There could be SO many red flags that they haven't had the opportunity to see.

Slow it down some. With that kind of physical distance between you, it's too big a risk before you know each other much better.

I know, I know, you never truly know each other until it's IRL. But you still take precautions before taking it to the IRL level.

[its_legal@16]

jesus christ EEK, stop putting people down, do you have some kind of mass insecurity about your persons which dictates you have to drive other people into the ground just to make your self feel good? because that's what it seems like. i was offering an ulterio view point, after all it is his life, not yours

[EvilEvilKitten]

Good Lord what ARE you going on about??

Not only is "all for love and the world well lost" a literary quote but it is an expression that accurately describes the attitude of hormone-raging teenagers when it comes to sex and relationships! They tend to leap before looking. You share the attitude which can be described as "go for it"and that is precisely what I said with my quote.

How is being accurate "putting people down"?

Or is it just because I said it?

[its_legal@16]

no, i think we are talking about different things really, plus i am knackered, and not literally, and have a thumping head ache so i get confused easily. so yeah, lol sorry :\