My Boyfriend Doesn't Listen

[Sesshomarulover261]

I am so angry with my boyfriend right now so not only am I going to ask for advice but vent.

[Rouge]

No offense, but he doesn't seem to be responsible, or take responsibility for his actions. In addition, he has no real regard for you. In all honesty, move on. You can do better (especially after he hacked your account...).

[maupassant]

Well, only you can make up your mind, but it seems to me the guy is acting very strangely and is most immature. All in all, a very strange love affair. I reckon you need some serious talking with the guy. Good luck anyway.

[King Rick]

Yeah I think it's time for you to move on. He sounds like a very immature person and it'll only end up hurting you in the long run.

[lnt1103]

Trust me when I tell you to get this guy out of your life. It's the final straw. If you feel for some reason you need to try to be kind somehow, advise him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out. You do not, I repeat, you DO NOT need this guy. He's bad for you. You could be lucky not to have been arrested yourself (or worse) if you've ever been out with him on any of these little adventures. I don't care how hard he tries, I don't care if he cries or whines, I don't care if he tells you how much he loves you or needs you or how good for him you are. All of that is total bull shit. I don't care if it makes you feel heartless, or like a hurtful bitch.

Can you tell I've kind of been there? This is about self-preservation at this point. He's incredibly bad for you and doesn't give a shit about the affect he has on you. All he cares about is what he can get from you. You don't need him and he doesn't deserve you.

GET HIM GONE.

[Sesshomarulover261]

I don't want to break up though >< That is something I want to feel comfortable with before it happens.

He does make a lot of sacrifices for me. What he did last night does not usually happen. He just made a stupid decision. He is not a fellon or anything.

I was looking for techniques to get him to communicate better with me.

I do feel like he doesn't care how I feel during situations like that but I just don't want to go into it.

Most of the time I am happy with him, but when it comes to communication things turn the wrong way.

I understand why you guys say to break up with him but I know when its time to let go of something. It has almost been a year, I would feel WORSE if I let that all go. We plan on a long-term relationship and I would like it to stay that way.

Btw, yes he is 18 and very immature in some areas. However, he's responsible in others.

Sesshylove

[Sesshomarulover261]

Rouge, that hacking incident was a joke. He didn't look through any of my information, or threads or responses. He logged on, made the joke and told me right away then changed it.

[funinthesun]

So, he's just old enough to be tried as an adult.


I was going to post in the other thread that however innocent "the joke" might seem, it shows a complete disregard for not only your privacy but how important it is to him that *you* trust him. His actions then and in this post show that he takes your company for granted. Small violations are often rationalized to be 'ok' if harm isn't caused, however that rationalization process is what allows people to find themselves on a slippery slope of increasingly poor decisions in proportion to how difficult a position they are in.

18 is the age at which one can be tried as an adult for a reason. Regardless of his other qualities, he has failed to make the responsible decisions that are expected of him at this point in his life. Is your self-esteem so low that you're willing to condemn yourself to a life of staying up late worrying about and cleaning up the messes of someone who doesn't care about you just so you aren't alone?

[lnt1103]

Originally Posted by Sesshomarulover261

That is something I want to feel comfortable with before it happens.

You're never going to, hun. If you ever do, it could be too late by then. People are very rarely comfortable with confrontation and break-ups. You have to take a deep breath and just do it, knowing that as much as it hurts, it's the best thing for you.

Originally Posted by Sesshomarulover261

I do feel like he doesn't care how I feel during situations like that but I just don't want to go into it.

He never will. 'I don't want to get into it' is a cop out for the reasons in my next paragraph. And trust me when I tell you that you deserve better.

Originally Posted by Sesshomarulover261

I understand why you guys say to break up with him but I know when its time to let go of something. It has almost been a year, I would feel WORSE if I let that all go. We plan on a long-term relationship and I would like it to stay that way.

This is called comfort with 'the devil you know'. You're scared to lose him because it doesn't feel good to be alone and you don't know when or if anyone else will come along. We've all been there. But you MUST have enough courage to reach for what you deserve. I promise you that he is not the be all and end all for you. Better WILL come along, and you need to be willing to demand that for yourself.

[Rouge]

Originally Posted by Sesshomarulover261

Rouge, that hacking incident was a joke. He didn't look through any of my information, or threads or responses. He logged on, made the joke and told me right away then changed it.

No matter if it was a joke or serious, he still broke into an account of yours which is a specific and private area. What will happen next? He'll get into your hotmail? Facebook? It may have been just a small thing, but it shows disrespect for your privacy and personal boundaries.

Regardless of the account incident, he just doesn't care. Sure, he likes having a girlfriend, and it looks good now, but I'm quite sure if anything that required any level of responsibility were to come up, he'd either brush them off or just split. He was willing to come to your house after running from police, which in some cases can have you arrested for aiding, he left with his friend when you were waiting 'to chill'. Finally, any guy that you can see ending up in jail will bring nothing but problems. I'm quite sure he doesn't really care abut schooling either. 'bad boys' might seem cool now, but in all honesty, every girl should have a nice guy.

My advice: Drop him and find someone who can be mature, can be responsible, and cares about your opinions and feelings.