Man from internet chat

[lnt1103]

Before T and I met IRL, I met one other guy--I mentioned him--who happened to live merely across town. We did all the online talking, the phone thing, I did the background check. Didn't work out. Doesn't mean the system is bad or that I wasted anything, just that the person wasn't the one. Same system, when applied to the right guy, worked fantastically if I say so myself. Once again, your system works for you, mine worked for me, the OP will have to find one that works for her. There's no absolute right or absolute wrong--ya do what ya gotta do, and ya gotta figure that out for yourself.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Indeed, but through all of the talk, one thing does not change.

Chemistry rules.

The phermones do not, and cannot lie. You can have all the greatest 'connection' with someone in the world and have it all go to hell within the first 5 minutes of meeting that person IRL simply because there is nothing there. Given its power - it should logically, rationally, be the first thing you check out. This 'chemistry check' can only be done in person.

All I'm asking the OP to do is to try my method out. Cast a wide net. Invite all of those interested men to show up at a party populated with all of your friends and have fun checking out those who show BEFORE spending any great amount of time talking with them.

[LickMyGamete]

I don't know if anyone cares, but I'll toss my story into the "success" category.

I met my now wife in a chatroom, never intending for anything to occur. We talked for about 3 months as just friends before realizing we both really enjoyed eachothers company. Then we decided to take it to the next level, I guess, and started talking on the phone every night (which lasted a full year). It was pretty tough and we almost didn't make it through, but we did! Then I flew up there to meet her (1,200 miles away). I remember it being weird, because suddenly this person is right in front of you. But it also felt natural, and we were comfortable around each other almost from the start.

Anyway, we've been together for over 5 years now and married for a little over 2. I know it's nothing compared to those 40/60 year marriages or so,, but we're off to a good start =).

So I know internet relationships CAN work, as long as neither party goes in EXPECTING one and tries to force it. Just let it happen naturally. DON'T introduce sex into the equation, and spend a few months talking with someone BEFORE you even put them in the "candidate" category, no matter what they say or how you feel.

[maupassant]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Hotcat -

Meet him for lunch in a busy public place and have a gf waiting by her phone for your call back to her 30 minutes into the date. Excuse yourself to the ladies' room to make this call. Do not ask her opinion and do not tell her yours. This is a safety check and a ready excuse if you need to get out of the lunch quickly before you stab him with the butter knife because you just cannot stand another minute with him.

I counsel you to be ruthless. Assume all men are married until proven otherwise. Assume he's unemployed and so on, again, until proven otherwise.
A decent man will not mind being closely examined.

Also, play fair, be prepared to say Yes or No to him at the end of that first lunch. Giving him hope by letting him down easy is dishonest. Men do not read minds, and they do not do nuance or understand hints. "Yes, I'd like to see you again", or "No, we're not compatible".

This method clears away the undergrowth of lessor men while keeping everyone drama-free. Remember: ruthless but fair and honest.

Super advice EEK. Absolutely spot on.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Thank you, mau. What many perhaps do not understand is that I dominate dominant men solely through the use of personality and the allure of a "while not hot still mildly attractive" North American She-Beast.

I understand men very, very well.