a girl sending mixed messages

[newchris101]

hey guys long time no talk.

i have been talking to this girl and she wants to hang out with me.

i talked to her yesterday and i asked her if she wanted to have a hookup no strings attached.

in short she said "maybe we should hang out."

now im trying to figure out if that means its a go or what. help please

[Venom]

I hate mixed but i love em & the same time, while your hanging out just to semi suttle touches to her like maybe rub her thigh for a second & see how she reacts if she dose'nt like it then act like you were trying to tickle her

[dancingdoc2]

Chris, the two of you need to learn how to communicate--the two of you with each other and you with us. Your post is not clear. Communication is the key to having a successful relationship, romance and sex included.

> i talked to her yesterday and i asked her if she wanted to have a hookup no strings attached.

What do you mean by this? Do you think she has the same understanding of the parameters? Be a guy and connect the proverbial dots for her.

> in short she said "maybe we should hang out."

The likelihood of her replying with a "yes" rather than a "maybe" are better if she knows exactly what you mean. Stop with the innuendos.

> now im trying to figure out if that means its a go or what.

Please read the articles listed in the Index on dating. In there somewhere is an explanation of "implied consent" or do a site search on the term. Use this technique in your interactions with her.

> help please

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

[bayonet777]

mixed signals suck dude one girl was like that for me she would say she would want to date me then id ask her out and shed always make up excuses it drove me crazy

[EvilEvilKitten]

She means - "maybe, if you don't screw it up"

Basicly she wants to get you know you better before she makes her mind up re: sex with you.

[Massdebator]

Based on what you wrote, which was minimal as Doc pointed out, I see no mixed messages. You asked if she was interested in some nsa fun, and she gave you an indefinite answer.

As to what her answer means, that's dependent on a few things. Without providing the community with more information about the conversation, it's difficult to say exactly. However, in my experience with dating (and I'm in no way an expert), an invite to "hang out" can mean one of two things. The first is that one suggests hanging out as opposed to a date, because they are looking for something casual (i.e. nsa, non-exclusivity, a fling, etc.). The rest of the time, the person is merely using the parlance of our time, their choice of words means nothing and therefore little can be inferred from that choice, and/or they're an inexperienced dater. In either situation EEK is right as usual, and you have a chance. Hang out, have fun, and read her body language to gain more insight in what she wants from you.

Hope this helps.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Why are you men having difficulty understanding this?
It seemed quite clear to me.

"Do you want to have NSA sex with me?"
was met with
"Let me get to know you better."

He may have an issue with this because he might fear that if she does get to know him, she may not like him, or like him enough to enjoy him - all that effort and time wasted (Hah!) Or, he may be worried that if she gets to know him better - she may get attached.

But there isn't a "mixed message" here. Unless she was naked and sitting in his lap when she said it.

A "mixed message" is one where what she does, doesn't match what she says.

[Venom]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Why are you men having difficulty understanding this?
It seemed quite clear to me.

"Do you want to have NSA sex with me?"
was met with
"Let me get to know you better."

He may have an issue with this because he might fear that if she does get to know him, she may not like him, or like him enough to enjoy him - all that effort and time wasted (Hah!) Or, he may be worried that if she gets to know him better - she may get attached.

But there isn't a "mixed message" here. Unless she was naked and sitting in his lap when she said it.

A "mixed message" is one where what she does, doesn't match what she says.

Women we just dont understand well enough usually cuz we expect direct answer like what you just said but curvy answer gets us baffled for hours maybe even days xD

[EvilEvilKitten]

Really, guys, it isn't that hard.

As far as the women are concerned - they ARE giving you a straight answer. Try to keep up.


Learn to 'people watch'. For example: watch a guy trying to pick up a girl. Watch what she does and try to decide if it is Yes or No; working or not. If he does that "get her number, will call her later' thing. Watch what she does after he leaves. Was that an eyeroll? Did she sigh with relief? Of did she watch him walk away and lick her lips?

Watch, listen, and learn.

[Massdebator]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Why are you men having difficulty understanding this?
It seemed quite clear to me.

"Do you want to have NSA sex with me?"
was met with
"Let me get to know you better."

He may have an issue with this because he might fear that if she does get to know him, she may not like him, or like him enough to enjoy him - all that effort and time wasted (Hah!) Or, he may be worried that if she gets to know him better - she may get attached.

But there isn't a "mixed message" here. Unless she was naked and sitting in his lap when she said it.

A "mixed message" is one where what she does, doesn't match what she says.

I guess my post sparked this, but I did mention in my post that I didn't see any mixed message. The rest of my post was conjecture and may have been unnecessary, but I thought it might help him know what to expect. Simply an 'FYI' type of thing. I otherwise agree with you on all points, Kitten.