Nervous problems again... How to ask out/date a girl?

[Yardie Bone]

If you remember me or look up my post you will see that I was asking how to ask my best friend (a girl) to prom, well we asked each other at the same time so we ended up going to prom, we had a great time, did alot of grinding, flirting, and on the limo ride back home she fell asleep on my lap. I think she likes me so my next question is how do I go about confessing my love to her or asking her to be my g/f? PS, she is also going to another prom next weekend, should I feel anyway about this? Would this mean that she possibly does not want to date me? Please help a very confused 18 year old male!

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Well it is too soon to ask her to be your girlfriend. You two only went to prom together. The problem is she still may not know that you have feelings for her because you two are best friends. Sometimes friends go to prom together. A best friend of the opposite sex would be comfortable sleeping on your lap. Grinding is not much neither. I have seen plenty of people grind who are just close friends.

I am not saying you don't stand a chance. She may not realize that you have feelings for her. The best way is to say it to her. Tell her how you feel. You may not want to say you love her just yet because that would be too strong. After you tell her how you feel ask her on a date or/and also ask her how she feels about you.

[Brandye]

If I had had two invitations at that age, I would have accepted both. You should read nothing into it. Nor should you spill your guts about undying love and affection. Ask her out again and see what develops.

[Zr2_EQX]

Originally Posted by RATED-RKOFRANKLIN

Well it is too soon to ask her to be your girlfriend. You two only went to prom together. The problem is she still may not know that you have feelings for her because you two are best friends. Sometimes friends go to prom together. A best friend of the opposite sex would be comfortable sleeping on your lap. Grinding is not much neither. I have seen plenty of people grind who are just close friends.

I am not saying you don't stand a chance. She may not realize that you have feelings for her. The best way is to say it to her. Tell her how you feel. You may not want to say you love her just yet because that would be too strong. After you tell her how you feel ask her on a date or/and also ask her how she feels about you.

Franklin, you are giving advice? According to your last 2 posts you have no clue and need the advice!

[dancingdoc2]

Yup! Slow way down, Yardie.

"Love" develops over time. Take lots of time (several months) in order to see if there is even a hint of compatibility. If there is this, then the next stage is to learn whether or not there are "sparks" out of which a loving relationship can develop.

This is Stage 2. Stage 1 is to just casually date her along with one or two other girls at a time if available--or subsequently, and see what develops out of each. Dating does not mean commitment. Teens and young adults are well advised not to get into exclusive relationships with anybody until you are ready to settle down and get married and have dated enough people to know "this is the one".

Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body (hers or another) who expresses an interest in us. Dating is all about learning what humanity has to offer us in potential mates. Dating is about discovering different personalities, characters, likes, dislikes, whims, notions, goals, morals, values, interests, etc., et cetera, etc. Dating is all about being better able to recognize when Mr./Ms. Right comes along. So, date this girl as well as others for the next few years and see what comes of this. One thing is for sure, you will be exposed to lots more activities and should always be able to have a date.

By not entering into an exclusive relationship you avoid all the drama and trauma that usually happens at this time of life and when the two of you are less skilled at managing.

Lastly, dating should be about having fun while you learn about others. So, focus on this and just ask her out. There is an article listed in the Index about asking and others about doing. Scan the Index for these and other informative articles.

There are different degrees of interest in others.

* casual acquaintances
* friends
+ really good friends
* best friends (one man one woman)
* Significant other

The same is true for intensity.
* you can like someone
+ like him/her a lot
* love him or her
* be in love with him or her

This girl may be your best friend and you may really really like her, however, "love" requires some thought and analysis. You can love her yet not be "in love" with her. Only time and experience with her will let you know when a transition has occurred.

If this girl is actually your "best" friend, then reaffirm to her that you really like her and want to ask her out. If she accepts and the date goes well, tell her at the end of the evening that you hope she had a good time and that you did, also. Then tell her you would like to go out, again, soon. Next, wait two days, then call her (no t/m or E-mail) on the telephone and ask her for another date. There is an article on this that you should read, also. Later, begin at the top of the Index and work your way to the bottom of Page 2.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Yardie Bone]

When I say love, I really mean like! Thanks for the advice so far, more is encouraged

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yardie - you're infatuated.

Here's your plan:

1. Ask her out to a specific event/place at a specific date/time.

A. if she says yes - great!
B. if she says no - sorry - back off, maybe try again next week
c. if she says no but suggests an alternative - think about it, then say yes, if you can afford it since technically you invited out still

2. Do this twice, then wait.

Now it is her turn to ask you out on a date, for which she will pay.

A. if she does -great!
B. if she doesn't - then you have the option of quietly fading away or asking her what's up?

1. if she still wants to date you - say "then ask me out on a date"
2. if she doesn't - then say goodbye

If she shows any signs of being confused or indecisive - walk away.
Asking for a date is good; begging for a date is bad.

The point being you want a girl who is as "into" you as you are "into" her.