Can I say this to her? What should I do?

[duh477]

This girl ive been sort of going out with for about 3 or for months but nothing official she works alot and doesnt have much time to spend with me. But we hang out about every week or two and everytime ive been over her apartment she invites her bestfriend over, or she tells me she home alone and doesnt invite me over.
I like her but im not gonna put up with going out with her and spending a bunch of money on her and not having sex. Can I tell her that this no sex thing is a problem? Its not like I just met this girl either I have known her for about 5 years and even when she had a bf she would tell me she liked me and practically begged me to go out with her. Im planning on giving her another 6 weeks and then just moving on without really telling her. I really dont think im being an asshole ive been very patient about this but I just think if she cant make up her mind by now then she is just wasting my time and money. What should I do?

[Rouge]

Talk to her calmley and explain how you feel. Is this the same girl as the prom girl? If not, I think maybe you need to talk to her about a lot more, not just the lack of sex.

[duh477]

no this is a different girl not the prom girl

[Rouge]

Then I suggest you take some time away from the dating scene and evaluate. You say you've been kinda seeing this girl, if you're thinking about running off with another one for sex, you seem to be confused.

Step back from the whole thing and think about what you really want from a relationship. If it's just sex, don't put someone through a relationship. Find a fuck buddy.

[dancingdoc2]

Perhaps you are not an ass, yet the tone of your message makes me think you are.

If you are interested in this woman then I suggest you learn what women want and it is not necessarily what you want--dinner for sex. Me thinks you are very naive, so I suggest learning to be a lover and as one--romance her and make love to her mind, first, before involving the body.

It seems to me from your post that you have much to learn about being a "man" and in learning about relationships and how to go about them. You can begin by reading the articles listed in the Index.

I agree, if you want sex for sex sake, find a FWB, otherwise, get inside a woman's head before you get inside her body. Learn how loving relationships work. I apologize if I've misread the intent of your post, although, you sound crass.

[EvilEvilKitten]

"I like her but im not gonna put up with going out with her and spending a bunch of money on her and not having sex."

Oh, so you think she's a whore. Well, that's just great! I am SURE she'd ADORE being told "Fuck me or I'm gone, baby."

Doesn't sound very good, does it? Well that is precisely how she's going to interpret it and don't think it is her fault if she throws you out.

This idea you guys have that if you spend money on taking a girl out obligates her to anything is WRONG. Just flat out WRONG. You invite her out - you pay. She invites you out - she pays. And the ONLY thing you should ask her out for is the pleasure of just being with her. NOTHING ELSE.

And if you think I'm not telling you the truth - think about why you came in here and asked - because you know what you want to say is CRASS and degrades you, her, and your relationship.

[funinthesun]

The best thing one can possibly hope for by spending money on a date is that the person wasn't going to go/stay out with you because you didn't spark her interest on a personal level but what you would like to do piques her interest enough that you just bought yourself some time to make up for your mistake.

Aside from that - simply spending money is just that. Without a personal connection, nothing will happen.

I agree with the others regarding the language of your post.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Ranks right up there with the lout who told me "I drove several hours to be here with you so you owe me a blowjob in the parking lot."

Not his finest hour.

[duh477]

I just understand why she wont when she has been begging me to go out with her for ALMOST 5 YEARS.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

After reading your first post sex is not the main problem. From what I can tell is that you two don't spend much time together. Also when you two get a chance to be alone her friend is sometimes there. I think you should be focusing on trying to spend more loving(not sex) time alone together.