Girlfriend wants to go down but can't bring herself to try

[thokrit]

I have been discussing the topic of oral sex with my girlfriend for a couple months now. She has told me that she wants to sexually please me in that aspect but has never done it before. Until recently she has thought of it as rather disgusting. We are both 18.

It is getting to the point where recently we were having sex and she told me she wanted to suck me really bad but she just stared at my genitalia and I did not want to seem pushy with it so we both just laid there until I got the picture that she wouldn't go forth with it by herself.

Now I mean it doesn't bother me really but the fact is myself being 18 years of age if she says or does anything roughly perverted involving the mouth I just get super horny and my mind runs wild with fantasy because of the fact she will not say no she will not do it. I've brought this to her attention before where I asked her if she didn't feel comfortable with the idea of it to just tell me so I stop getting false hope in those such moments because when I realize my mind is playing tricks on me I feel gloomy.

[dancingdoc2]

She has yet to reach the stage of maturity and development in which she is comfortable with a person's body regardless of it being yours or hers or someone elses. This just takes time, especially if there are complications from moral teachings, education or the lack of, or what her elders have taught her.

More than likely this will happen if you do not push the issue--and, that you make a point of telling her that you have just showered and are clean and fresh. People worry about three things regarding oral: 1) that the person's body is sweaty and grimy; 2) that any trace of urine is somehow dirty, and 3) that it is a Gay activity only--wrong.

We've just solved the first and last issues, the second is in knowing and understanding that urine is actually sanitary, unless of course a person has a social disease.

I recommend that the two of you read all of the articles listed in the Index a couple of times and discuss what you have learned. Perhaps she can explain what her objections are about performing oral stimulation. Does she object to receiving it from you?

[LCAMILO86]

don't rush her.....if she's not ready for it, respect her desicion. would you let her go if she doesn't please you orally? is it really worth it? it depends if your'e comfortable with the fact of losing your girl, or if you would just rather wait until she's comfortable with it. i can relate to what sh's feeling, because it took me a while to get used to performing oral sex on a guy before....be patient, and understanding and give her time, that when she's ready, she'll do it. if you see her getting anywhere near ready, then i guess you may as well just leave and get with somebody that your needs will be met.....

[EvilEvilKitten]

Popsicles. Go out and enjoy eating popsicles.

There are several reasons why women aren't eager to give oral sex to men:

1. he reeks!
2. she's been educated that sex is debasing, dirty, etc.
3. man his penis is UGLY - trust me on this one
4. she doesn't know what to do with it

Hence the popsicles - all but biting of course although there was this one guy.....

While she's practicing with her popsicles, get yourself a big navel orange and cut it into quarters (stem end up) and then eat the pulp out using only your mouth.

This could be fun! And that's the point - make it fun.

[thokrit]

She doesn't object when I perform oral on her. I mean I guess I could try reading some things with her but if I try and do anything along those lines I feel as if I am being pushy. The only things that confuses me is if she says she wants to so bad is that like an invitation to try and read things with her or whatnot?

[dancingdoc2]

> She doesn't object when I perform oral on her.

This is a situation that is quite common in which the woman doesn't mind receiving yet has concerns or problems reciprocating. She has stated that she wants to, and left to work this out on her own, probably will at some point. So, my suggestion for you is to simply ask in an upbeat manner that is not accusatory or negative, why she will accept your favors yet has trouble returning the favor.

It may just be that she does not know how to do it and is fearful of doing it wrong. If this is the case then the two of you should read the article in the Index that describes how. You can also guide her in what works for you, how you are responding to her caresses, and, for what you need now/next.

Please keep in mind that making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together. Learn from mistooks and do not be so self critical.

[thokrit]

I recently spoke to her about and she just told me she needs more time which I can understand in a way. I guess I just need to be patient and just not get my hopes up. It is hard because of the type of person I am where I can get so hopeful all the time over anything. I think big as a person but I guess that is a fault.

[EvilEvilKitten]

and while you're busy being patient - get some popsicles.

[brick]

Keep being patient if she feels she is forced or pressured to do it she won't enjoy it and any hope for future oral will be slim.

[dancingdoc2]

Why will a woman accept oral activities yet not give in return. What is the mindset?