How will i change

[NaughtyAnimal]

I have been single for two years after stupidly dumping an amaizng guy and have totaly changed since and become more forward with guys and due to a terrible event happening now feel i have to satisfy a guy sexually and end up moving to fast and ending up looking like a slut. how can i change and slow down. loads of guys say im pretty and i think i'm ok but jsut need to change the way i am with guys.

any help lads or ladies xx

[dancingdoc2]

It appears that you have a major matter resolved, that of your self esteem. Now, perhaps, is the matter of behaving like a woman using all the wit, charm, manners, and etiquette, you can muster. Here is the key: Act the way you wish to be. This is not unlike an actress protraying a character in a play/movie. The good thing about this is that the more you "practice" this desired behavior, the sooner you will adopt the behavior you wish for.

> i have to satisfy a guy sexually and end up moving to fast and ending up looking like a slut.

Women set the boundaries for how far to go and for when to extend the existing boundary to a new limit. Decide how far you want to go and then stick to your decision. DO NOT BE IN A RUSH TO MOVE TOO FAST TOO SOON. Also, do not be "easy". Make the guy lust for and want and desire you--and work hard to win your favors. In other words, go back to basics and learn how to fool around and make out. Spend weeks or months just Necking, then just that and Petting, then these, and moving onto Heavy Petting, all before getting to Foreplay.

Please read the articles listed in the Index, found at the top of the main screen. Especially read those on how to make out, etc. As you spend a lot of time at each of the above stages, also devote this time to getting to know each other. If you want a loving relationship, then work on the foundation of a relationship before just having sex for sex sake.

Sex just to hopefully snag a guy is a poor way to win a man over. Much better long term results are had when you win over a man's mind and thus his desire for you and his intrigue with you.

There is nothing wrong with sex for sex sake if this is what the two of you want; however, your post suggests that you want more from a man and how you get this is to make him value you as a person. This means getting to know who and what you are all about. Make him want your mind as well as your body.

[EvilEvilKitten]

"now feel i have to satisfy a guy sexually and end up moving to fast and ending up looking like a slut. how can i change and slow down"

WRONG ATTITUDE

Move at the pace YOU want for YOUR own reasons. YOU decide when, where, with whom, and how. YOU invite him to participate. YOU choose.

BTW - slut is what a guy calls a gal who sleeps with anyone she wants, see above, just NOT HIM. It is an archaic idea that women with experience and desire are unsuitable for a decent man because if she'll "do it" with him, she will "do it" with anybody. All repugnant because 1. as if her only value lies between her legs and 2. that he's just like any other man.

Sex is not love and love is not sex - rid yourself of ALL negative ideas re: sex. And you can make friends between the sheets just as well as you can make friends anywhere else.

It is all in your attitude.

If you want to enjoy sex with him - do so. If you do not, then don't.

[NaughtyAnimal]

thanks peeps that should be helpful ill try it out x how shoudl i act when out clubbing? if i want to bag myself a man

[EvilEvilKitten]

Fun, interested and interesting but not going out of your way.

[dancingdoc2]

Do you want the type of man you will find out clubbing?

What do you want from a man?
a) sex
b) relationship
c) friendship

It seems to me that a person will attract the type of person s/he acts like. That said, please reread the opening paragraph in my first reply.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I have found lovely men out clubbing and most have become very good friends. The key is to be realxed, and confident regardless of the environment in which you find yourself.