BF and good good friend

[brick]

Its fine to have two partners but I think if you are calling someone your boyfriend that means commitment is implied. Unless the BF is aware this is an open relationship.

Either way its your decision but I hope for your sake and your partners sake you are using protection as who knows if either is doing the same thing. That is a slippery slope. Just protect yourself is all.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Maybe. It could also be that she's just trying to keep them differentiated and ran out of language.

She has an FWB and a "boyfriend" - with whom there's no sexual relationship but some close emotional support - which is rather like a F w/o B.

[thokrit]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Sweety - she DATING, she's not being at all infidelitous since she did NOT swear any VOWS to anyone at any time. She has two male friends - that's all. Which is my circle of friends means she's not trying hard enough.

Insecure men who do not want to have to compete with other men for a woman's attention always seem to make the same claim - "she's foul because she's playing the field" = "she's disloyal". Stop. Itis NOt that she's anything at all -rather it is his insecurity and weakness that is the real problem.

But since he cannot think badly about himself or get up the energy to change himself - he will blame her instead. It is sooo much easier especially if he can convince her that she's being bad and mean to him or that she's insane or a rank skanky slut if she dates more than one man at a time.

That feeble male pride thing.

There is no real reason why she has to choose one or the other.

Hitler is the reason why the atom bomb exists.

I have a question for you then Ms.EvilEvilKitten, if you are "dating" someone for a year or some time span in or around a year which is 365 give or take 20 or 30 days. (Meaning 11 months being rounded to a year).

If you are under the impression your relationship with someone you call your boyfriend (your boo, your baby, your honey or whatever child name you give them) is going very well and he acts very happy around you.

You two start making plans around this time because you've been together for a year because that is what people do after a certain amount of time together they start making plans, first very small plans very slowly then bigger plans eventually down the line.

You felt such a strong emotional bond and physical lust for your "boyfriend" where you see every little imperfection as why you like to be around (or love) your "boyfriend" so much and you felt the same was reciprocated to you from your "boyfriend" e la visa ve.

You find out your boyfriend is cheating on you with some girl (or what you will probably call her, his "skank").

His explanation for his actions with this is that this particular "skank" tongues the living shit out of his asshole and he loves it when she tongues his asshole like an ice cream cone but couldn't bring himself to ask you to tongue his asshole because he felt you wouldn't love him anymore (or never love him at all).

Now his exploits with this skank are wider ranged than just an asshole tonguing here or there, he has sex with her also because you can't just tongue a man's asshole and not expect him to not want to fuck the living shit out of something.

His defense is that he's technically just dating people and that you are just insecure.

How would you respond if you were put in a scenario with this sort of setting, but I assume you probably were or have been in a scenario like this if you can justify infidelity as "just dating".

Men get hurt, women get hurt so if you are going to cheat cut it off before someone gets hurt even more. If you realize you don't want to be with someone for all of their faults and shortcomings then you do not fucking deserve their strong points. That just makes you selfish and a terrible fucking human being, a user who uses people like tools for when they need something fixed. If you want close emotional support why don't you just drop some money on a therapist oh wait but a therapist doesn't love you like your "boyfriend" does because your therapists only loves you for your money.

[EvilEvilKitten]

After only a year? Making plans? Are ya nuts?? Two years minimum and you do not even contemplate making plans until AFTER you're affianced - never before.

No, I would NOT call her a skank or anything else. I DO NOT OWN HIM. What he does on his own time is HIS busincess not mine. And, knowing me, I'd be more likely to ask him if he'd like a FMF non-bi 3-some or if she had another fellow - perhaps a 4-some.

Yes, people get hurt. BUT your emotions are just that - your emotions. You can go off into a tirade and wail "poor little me" or you can decide which is stronger: YOUR LOVE or YOUR PRIDE. Because if a bit of extra-curricular sex is all that it takes to destroy your love, well, honey - your love is a weak and worthless thing now isn't it? When you marry it is not "until he/she fucks up" - it is "for keeps".

Instead of breaking your heart - try opening your mind. Such occasions are an opportunity for you to think this through and negotiate - to truly and honestly communicate. And you can't do that if you're busy wailing "poor little me". .

Acknowledge your emotions, analyze why you feel the way you do, think it through- - and then act like a rational secure courageous adult.

Thokrit - I've been escastically married to the same man for more than 30 years. So I do know whereof I speak. Frankly, the only fit mate for a tigress is a tiger. Thank heavens I found one.

[Newtolove]

as usual peoples different definitions for the same words are casing a riot and disregard for the original post

[EvilEvilKitten]

Her original post is that she has two men and thinks she needs to choose between them.

She doesn't have to choose between them.