military relationship

[bayonet777]

hey everybody so theres a girl in my company that i like and im pretty shure she likes me but im worried that it might wierd out our job to do and make our co transfer one of us if our preformance slacks what should i do

[dancingdoc2]

Just be friends and remain that for as long as it suits the both of you. No relationship for awhile. In the meantime see where the friendship goes. If it eventually goes into a relationship, you haven't lost a thing, time wise.

As for dating and being in the same Company, I'd say this is a bad idea; and, I would say so even if the two of you worked for the same company in civilian life. Add to this that if the one or both of you get transferred someplace, then you have to deal with a long distance relationship. Yours will be more difficult than if your girlfriend was a civilian; although, I don't know by how much.

[Rouge]

Not to mention that when you're in the forces, it's a very small world. If something goes very bad between you two, it could be ugly in the future. This isn't to say that you should never date in the forces, but make sure that whomever it is that you're interested in is mature enough to accept that things might end.

[sarah_rsl]

I was in the army for nearly 12 years trust me its a bad idea, everybody is going to know the ins and outs of your relationship. Plus its going to be frowned on by the seniors.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Never date where you work.
In the military this also means never date within your own chain of command.

Yes, I know you spend a lot of time together as a unit, but you really do have to find someone outside of your unit when it comes to dating, sex, etc.

Widen your horizons. There are lots of fabulous men in the military.
Good hunting!


<--retired from military

[bayonet777]

thanks for the replies everyone but she got transfered to the big red one on tuesday of this week so it wouldnt have worked anyway ha thanks again hooah!

[nikki07]

believe me even as a civilian dating a Royal Navy officer it's hard work, not least because he can be sent to sea at any time, but because as said before everyone knows the ins and outs of your relationship.

I have been with my bf for about 10 months now and everyone at his unit seems to know everything about it and it certinally isn't down to him talking.

The military relationships are tough ones but if the person is worth persisting with then it's worth a try at least

[Brandye]

For the last ten months there are exactly two of you who know what is happening behind closed doors. If everyone knows, one of the two fo you must be talking.

[sarah_rsl]

Originally Posted by Brandye

For the last ten months there are exactly two of you who know what is happening behind closed doors. If everyone knows, one of the two fo you must be talking.

The military has a different set of value systems than civvie life. When it comes to talking about sex with you mates its not really done to be stand offish or seen to be too secretive.

That may not be a good thing but its the way it tends to work. If you're part of a group then you need to abide by the social rules and leaving your sex life open to scrutiny is one of them.

The advantage of dating civillians is that only your version tends to get out. With other soldiers its different.

It sounds bizarre I know, but when I dated soldiers I'd always ask my mates to find out what he was telling his mates about me. If it sounds convulouted it works in practice.

It can be awful knowing that intimite details are going the rounds, (there is always a thirst for graphic details) but its just the way it is. its actually a lot harder on blokes than girls. Several of my bf's were very nervous about what I was going to tell my mates about them being like in bed.

Anywho my point is that its not neccessarily a violation of trust like you might think.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Within the military - it really is a "band of brothers" and the talk is usually NOT about salicious details but seeking help, reassurance, and advice.

You DO have to have a limited amount of openness about your sex life because if your work suffers because of something going wrong in your sex life - people can die. Then the sergeant comes along for a little heart - to - heart chat and on it goes - up the chain, if need be.

The guys also discuss wedding plans driving them nuts, what to do with the baby whilst the wife is off on a biz trip, how they hate the new drapes, what they want for their birthday, and what the idiot kids under their command have done this week - the boneheads! - everything is discussed.