Abuse problems

[CleverName]

I have just started dating this new girl I met a couple weeks ago. Recently, we were talking and somehow she ended up talking about how her her father used to (and possibly still does, I am not sure because she was very sensitive in talking about it) abuse her. She said when she was young she was beaten with anything her parents could find.

Her mother left her whe she was young and her father said it was because she didn't want her. She says that verbal abuse still continues to this day, and she lives with her step-mother and her father. They have told her things like, why don't you just go kill yourself, your worthless, nobody wants you.

She told me that about 2 months ago, her step-mother sent her to a psychologist because she was sick of hearing her cry. This son of a bitch (excuse my language) said that no one loves her. He told he that she is a burden to everyone else around her and should get lost.

Her father and step-mother give her $30 a week for food, and not a dime more so if she runs out, she starves. She tells me how when she is at work she crys because she can smell the food when she is hostess, and is so hungry.

She is 17 years old now, and as soon as she turns 18 she is moving in with her mother, who she says is a changed person and has apologized for what she had done when she was a child.

Not to mention she has been through may abusive relationships with guys as well..

There is even more to this, but I think you get the idea.

What I am asking is, what can I do about it? How can I help her feel less depressed? She seems to be crazy over me, and I think that is because I am one of the first people to actually treat her with caring and respect. She is such a sweet, beautifull girl, and I am so furious that she has had to go through this her whole life. Is there anything legal that can be done? I would not hesitate to take any action necessary.

And sorry for this wall of text, I am just so angry. Any help would be appreciated.

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by CleverName

I have just started dating this new girl I met a couple weeks ago. Recently, we were talking and somehow she ended up talking about how her her father used to (and possibly still does, I am not sure because she was very sensitive in talking about it) abuse her. She said when she was young she was beaten with anything her parents could find.

Her mother left her whe she was young and her father said it was because she didn't want her. She says that verbal abuse still continues to this day, and she lives with her step-mother and her father. They have told her things like, why don't you just go kill yourself, your worthless, nobody wants you.

She told me that about 2 months ago, her step-mother sent her to a psychologist because she was sick of hearing her cry. This son of a bitch (excuse my language) said that no one loves her. He told he that she is a burden to everyone else around her and should get lost.

Her father and step-mother give her $30 a week for food, and not a dime more so if she runs out, she starves. She tells me how when she is at work she crys because she can smell the food when she is hostess, and is so hungry.

She is 17 years old now, and as soon as she turns 18 she is moving in with her mother, who she says is a changed person and has apologized for what she had done when she was a child.

Not to mention she has been through may abusive relationships with guys as well..

There is even more to this, but I think you get the idea.

What I am asking is, what can I do about it? How can I help her feel less depressed? She seems to be crazy over me, and I think that is because I am one of the first people to actually treat her with caring and respect. She is such a sweet, beautifull girl, and I am so furious that she has had to go through this her whole life. Is there anything legal that can be done? I would not hesitate to take any action necessary.

And sorry for this wall of text, I am just so angry. Any help would be appreciated.

Why can't she move in with her mother, now?
Why can't she move in anywhere, now?

My point being, she should be outa that environment immediately if not sooner. Have her talk to CPS, her school counselor, or, a minister (if she does not have one, any will do). She needs to be in a safe and sane environment and there are ways to accomplish this.

You can be mad all you want, however, it is not productive. Be there for her and strongly recommend that she talk to whatever person or agency she needs to in order to get help now, not when she turns eighteen.

[CleverName]

The reason she can't move right now is becasue when her mother first left her, she signed all custody rights over to her father. If she did try to move he would just have the police bring her back. She will be 18 in about a month or so.

I absolutely agree that she needs to get out of there now, but she won't go to any conselors or anything. I already tried talking to her about this, but she says she will just wait until she is 18 to move.

The other thing is that her younger sister still will be living with her dad, and she feels like she is abandoning her. Although she said her sister does not recieve any abuse, I fear that once my gf is gone they will just move on to her little sister.

She won't do anything herself, I am going to have to do somthing. But what are my options here? That's what I am trying to figure out.

[Brandye]

The best thing you can do is to identify the agencies that are available in your area. Whilst too late for your g/f, children's advocacy to protect the younger sister. It is not uncommon in these abuse situations for all the anger to be focused on one for whatever reason or none at all. The witnessing of it has already taken a toll on the younger sister but she may not be directly at risk.

Your g/f at some point will need help in sorting out her life. Be supportive. Do not allow codependency to develop because that is not a basis for a solid long-term relationship.

[CleverName]

Yes, I thought of the codependency thing... What can I do to keep that from happining? I do like this girl, but if it doesn't work out I don't want her to lose it...

Does anyone know of any such agencies in Florida?

[Brandye]

In Europe, we would look under government agencies in the phone book for something called child welfare or the like. Many clinics, school nurses, hospitals also refer anonymously.

Send a pm request to demonbuttercup; she lives in Florida.

[CleverName]

Ok, I probally will do so. However, do you think I should tell her? Because I think if I did, she would probally get really worried about one thing or another and she probally wouldn't want me to, because she is very afraid of confrontation.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Call 911 anonymously and leave a tip.
If it is abuse - they HAVE to investigate.

[The_Sexy_One]

you should tell HIM to get lost and leave her alone!
the same things are said to me by ppl in school and im sick of it, and i cant believe this is happening to someone else, and its being said by her own family!
he is the worst father in the world, he is ruining his own daughters life.
you should tell her you love her and she is wanted, im going through hell, but for hr its alot worse coz its coming from family. tell the police, its domestic abuse and should be investigated.

[CleverName]

Originally Posted by The_Sexy_One

you should tell her you love her and she is wanted, im going through hell, but for hr its alot worse coz its coming from family.

Well you see, love is a word I don't just throw around. If I say it I mean it. That doesn't mean I don't care for this girl, she is amazing, but Love is a unique word. I want to do everything I can to help her, but I am not going to throw words around and lessen their meaning.

I will tell her how much I care for her though.