When to say it?

[newchris101]

Alright i dont want to be bashed on this forum.

I know what im doing now with my girlfriend. I know she loves me and i love her but she wont exactly say it and neither will i.

Shes told me her idea of love. It was something along the lines of "you need that person and u trust that person over everyone else and theyre your best friend and your lover. they know all of the good and bad and how to make u smile. And u know you love them when most of your thoughts come back to thinking about them."

She wrote me a card and a poem for valentines day. basically and i quote "almost every thought that i have comes back to me wanting you here with me." "you know how to be a friend when the time is appropriate" "I never have given anyone else this kind of trust" "I have never dated anyone like you ever" "change is scary but whenever it rains and i am sad or when im happy i always want you to be there with me."

So i really want to tell her i love her. I just dont know how. Ive asked around and everyone says that you need a 'moment'

I was thinking when we are spooning and she is holding my hand interlocked with her fingers and i would just say it when we are talking.

I Just dont know please help.

[dancingdoc2]

> I know what im doing now with my girlfriend. I know she loves me and i love her but she wont exactly say it and neither will i.

> So i really want to tell her i love her. I just dont know how. Ive asked around and everyone says that you need a 'moment'

Sometimes a special "moment" is nice, other times just blurting it out is enough of a pleasant surprise. The rule is there is no rule.

* While driving, steel a glance, get her attention, and just tell her
* While driving, and holding hands, just tell her
* While walking along the sidewalk (not a busy mall)....
* While walking along the sidewalk, step in front of her, stop her, look intently into her eyes, hold both hands, and speak those words

* While in the theater watching a romantic scene, hug her and tell her
* After something nice happens or she does something nice, tell her how appreciative you are and that.....

* When it's a good day and dry, climb a ladder up to the roof of your house and when she walks by "shout it from the 'roof top'"!

* Go out dancing and while slow dancing and holding her closely, whisper those three words

Do any of these when you are ready, when the time is right and when she is receptive--not before.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Wrap your big strong arms around her, give her a big bear hug, and while she's still in your arms wondering if her ribs are still intact, TELL HER.

[newchris101]

well i was thinking of playing this song called Love you til' the end by the pogues
or something crazy that i made up on guitar. I thought id play for her and tell her i love her.

[dancingdoc2]

Sounds like a plan.........


Another song you might listen to is "Somewhere Out There" performed by:
Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram.

http://www.blueyze.com/somewhere.html

There maybe some lyrical ideas in this song for you.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Nice but ya know - you really don't need to make it a "special occasion" - the words make it all the "special" that''s required.

[newchris101]

the only real big problems i have with saying it are; 1. if she says she doesnt feel that way about me yet and its awkward. and 2. if she asks if im just telling her so we would have sex because i really do love her i just want to make sure she doesnt think its just for sex bc it isnt.
We have been dating for almost 4 months btw

[dancingdoc2]

4 mo?

I would wait several more months. This is too short a time to "be in love" with someone. You can let her know that you are "really in like" with her, saying it with conviction. Between now and next summer, you can watch what her behavior is. Very often women will send her guy a signal letting him know how she feels. I'd wait for those indicator(s) and use the ensuing months to become better acquainted.

[newchris101]

u know what? u r absolutely correct. i think im just jumpy. i just dont really know how she feels. She wrote a poem that used a metaphor about rain and me being her sunshine. (dont worry she didnt just rewrite the song lol) anyway she was saying how whenever we r together she is happy and how when i embrace her all her chills are gone and she gets warm and the "rain" stops.

can u give me some examples of hints that she will drop?

[sweetnothings]

It has been my experience that guys tend to say "I love you" in 2-3 months. That is just too soon for me to want to say it back although I have said it back so I don't hurt their feelings. I have also said I'm not ready to say that back to you yet. I don't know the signs to indicate I was ready though, other than me saying it first when I felt ready to. I would just hold off on saying it for now, you can say "I adore you," "I really like you," "I'm falling for you...." and see how she responds.