First date canceled??

[Sekcboi85]

Well, here is the story. This girl I kinda knew in High School messaged me on Myspace a few weeks ago. We were never really good friends or anything. Anyway, we started talking on the phone about 2 weeks ago and yesterday I asked her to go out with me tonight. She said yes but today she canceled it today because she said shes feeling very sick. She has sounded pretty sick when I have been talking to her on the phone so it is very possible that this is genuine and not just an excuse.

Well, what I want to know is, what do I do from here? Do I call her to try again or do I let her reschedule a date too see if she is really interested or not? Help me, I am confused!!!

P.S. - I am pretty new here but I have been reading the advice here for a few years now =)

Thanks in advance =)

[Ephemera]

You tried to meet her, the ball is in her court now.

Tell her to feel better and that when she's feeling up to it that she'll call you.

[dancingdoc2]

That works.... Before I read Eph's reply, above, I was going to say this:

Do not over think this. What if this was anybody else, and specifically a good friend. Wouldn't you call a day or so later and inquire as to their health? (Doing so would show interest, concern, and, good manners.) That said, what would you do now?

Telephone her (no texting, no E-mail) and inquire about how she is feeling. Her illness may only have been a one day thing, or the beginning of a cold or something that will last longer.

If she is better, let her know that you are happy for that and that you would like to reschedule. If he is still not feeling well, let her know that you wish her a speedy recovery, would like to reschedule and will call, again, in a few days. Alternately, you can ask if she expects to be better by next weekend or whenever you can date her, again, and see about planning for that.

As with all first time dates or two, provide an alternative date or time just in case she is would like to go although is busy at that time or on that day.

Now! Go for it!

> P.S. - I am pretty new here but I have been reading the advice here for a few years now

Welcome to the Board. I hope you enjoy participating for real.

[Sekcboi85]

Some great advice guys. Either one seems like a very viable option. I really like what Doc said about over thinking things. I am a little too analytical about everything I do I guess I will follow your advice Doc. Just give her a call and let her know I want to reschedule when she is feeling better.

Thanks for the help guys

[EvilEvilKitten]

After you call letting her know she can re-schedule when she's all better - leave it, and her, alone. If she wants you, she'll let you know. Silence means NO.

[Sekcboi85]

Well, thanks again for the advice everyone.

I did call her to see how she was feeling and let her know that we should do something when she is feeling better and she said she is free next weekend. She said she is busy this weekend though

Hope all goes well

[dancingdoc2]

> Now! Go for it!

Thereyago!

It looks like she is looking forward to a date because she is the one who offered the alternative day.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Now remember, a "date" is a specific event at a specific time and place.
Just hanging out isn't a date, rather it is spending time together, or getting to know him/her.

See? You just learned some "femme-speak".

[Sekcboi85]

Update:

Well, we finally went on that date. Everything was going pretty well. Some playful flirting, she would push me after I made her laugh and stuff. Then at the end of the night when I was driving her home she decided to check her phone and tells me she has 10 missed calls. So I am like, "OK, aren't we Ms. popular." Then she starts asking me all these serious questions about my last relationship, how long it lasted, was I happy, and if I got depressed after we broke up. Then she text someone and tells me it was her ex-boyfriend and he was the one who called 10 times.

Hmmmmmmm.. Guess I just wasted 5 hours of my time and some money

P.S. - Sorry, I am just kinda venting because I am so irritated. Ive been on a few bad dates before, but I have never had one go from good to bad within in the last 10 minutes like that.

[dancingdoc2]

Sorry to hear that, kiddo. Live and learn and then search for someone more mature and considerate. This is what happens sometimes in dating as well as worse, as well as better. The purpose of dating is to find Ms./Mr. Right and to learn what humanity has to offer us. Dating may begin and end with a single evening, a couple or a few, and, with others go on for a considerable length of time, whether it is with one individual or a couple at a time. Dating should also be non-exclusive until you are ready to settle down.

While this may not have been a pleasant experience, do not be so hard on yourself or disappointed. It was what it was; now, go find the next girl to date and so on and so on, with the understanding that some will lead somewhere and others won't. Please read the Index for articles on dating.