ex-boyfriends and me?

[newchris101]

Hey everybody so things are working out better for my girlfriend and i. we are very happy now. however her ex is having trouble.

he is very into drugs. and he smokes cigs. i recently found out that he was caught smoking in school (he says it was someone else but it was him he lies) and now faces a drug test that he will fail and a $450 fine which he doesnt have the money for because he is a beat poor scumbag.

He lied to my gf when they were going out about cheating and drug abuse. it goes farther than pot.

He got my gf addicted to cigarettes and its very easy to get her addicted to just about anything because of family history.

She asked me recently while trying to solve our own problems whether or not it made me uncomfortable for her to hang with her ex.

It does make me uncomfortable and its really hard to see them talking and stuff in the hallways. this is my longest relationship and its really a tough deal because i really dont want her around him for her sake but i dont want to hurt her feelings.

[odis85]

you shoulda been more honest up front man and unfortunatly i dont have any real advice for you

[EvilEvilKitten]

TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL - then she will either choose you or him.

Either way - your problem is solved.

Look, yes, of course it isn't going to be easy but life is like that. Hard choices don't get easier if you run away from them.

Have the courage to fight for your girlfriend even if that means fighting your girlfriend.

TELL HER. FLAT OUT - EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.

If she chooses him - DUMP HER FLAT. Why? Because she has chosen addiction over you and thus proven herself unworthy.

[newchris101]

its pretty much impossible for her to do that tho. i know if i tell her she wont hang out with him. On the other hand she wont tell me if she is texting him or if she has talked to him.

its very troubling. I really do think i am in love with her. I think she is in love with me but just doesnt want to say it.

She really likes me. she will honestly do pretty much anything for me. it would be really hard to dump her.

ive already talked to her about it and she says that "Not a day goes by where she doesnt think about telling him she loved him because she doesnt know if he actually meant it." She goes on to say, "Regardless of how he felt about me that was the way i felt about him"

I know right now if i dumped her it would kill her. Like honestly we just talked last night and she told me flat out that she likes me the most bc im the nice guy and she always thinks about us and why it feels so right but doesnt seem right. She thinks it doesnt seem right bc she and her ex were constantly fighting like CONSTANTLY. I think it was just because they were kids and that it was too much for a young person to bear. But we hardly ever fight we r just in a rough patch right now and its really hard.

She feels like she gave up her virginity at such a young age and she would have rather kept it and let a nice guy like me have it. a guy that isnt going to hurt her. I think she feels like she didnt know for a fact if he loved her or not.

It must suck. she was on the phone crying to me bc she thought that he loved her and that what they had was special. She was saying how it would feel to trust someone 100% with seeing you at your most vulnerable and knowing that they will get up in a half an hour and not care what u just did.

Apparently its a big sacrifice for a girl. She was saying it would have been so much nicer for me to take it because she knows that when i leave the room or if things dont work out that ill see her everyday and let her know i care by just looking her in the eye and smiling. Which is apparently something he never did because he was getting it from 2 girls at once.

I love her to death. Honestly i know what love means. Love means that whenever you see that person u get that crazy feeling and u think that they are the most amazing, beautiful, fun, and exciting person ever and that no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT at the end of the day that u will still love that person. And its not just because of sex, however sex is very good, its because of the connection you make and that when you do have sex its because you want the maximum level of being with that one true love that you own.

Honestly unless you have ever been in this exact situation you will not understand. Love is honestly the second most powerful emotion besides anger. I dont know how it feels to lose a love like her and to tell you the truth i dont know that i want to. She has been through so much and its just pitiful that i could not have been there to help her through it.

I think that we will make it honestly. im not talking about marriage or anything crazy like that but i know that we will both be at this point soon actually telling each other this stuff face to face. I know she writes like this about me. I guarantee she has journal entry upon journal entry about me.

[EvilEvilKitten]

What do you want to happen?
You want her to leave him and stick with you and have a healthy life.
Now you say if you tell her how you feel, she'll do what you want her to do.
Goal attained and problem solved.

SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

BTW DON'T tell me "you cannot understand" - dammit! You're doing exactly what everybody else on the planet does/has done/ will do. So stuff that kind of thinking.