interracial relationships

[odis85]

i have been thinking about this one for a while now and i feel exceptionally bad for it at times but at other times i really dont feel its like this but...

me and a buddy have similar tastes in women except that hes not at all attracted to pretty much any ethinicity from europe and im not attracted to african americans.. how i know neither of us is racist is that im italian and hes black ... furthermore we both get extremely angry at anyone who makes racist remarks and have a bad habit of getting into fist fights about it.

the main reason why i am writing this thread is because a few years ago i was approached by an otherwise perfect date (i know because we had the same circle of friends and we hung out a lot) that i turned down simply because of her color and i still feel bad about it. a person could easily make an argument that i am racist in some way but i want to know how many ppl would actually consider me racist (even if it was in some small degree).

[ducktales]

if you don't feel an attraction there's nothing you can do about it, maybe there's something going on sub-consciously.

Were your parents/relatives against interracial relationships?

[wet_suit_one]

In my view, the idea that you're racist if you're not willing to dink a woman (or accept a dinking from a man) from any race is off-putting somehow. We are attracted to what we're attracted to and there's nothing wrong with that (except if you would let the human race die out because the last woman on earth was Halle Berry (or Ebony Ayes to be more direct) and you wouldn't do you part because she's "African American". That's just messed up!!!).

That said, I'd happily dink any hot woman from any part of this world. Hot women is hot women, 'nuff said.

[dancingdoc2]

I believe you are over thinking this scenario. People have preferences, simple as that. Each person has a preference for hair color, skin tone, stature, physique, body type, personality, likes, dislikes, culture, etc. Having a liking for a particular ethnicity is simply a preference, nothing more.

Years ago I talked frequently with a woman on the telephone who lived in a section of NYC in which people had (to me) a very abrasive speech pattern. There is no way I would want to become chummy with anyone from this corner of the city.

Years ago I talked frequently with a woman on the telephone who lived in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area whose speech pattern was pleasant to listen to yet she raised my anxiety level waiting for her to complete a sentence because she spoke so agonizingly s l o w.

You stated that you are "Italian": of what ethnicity? I am American, yet what ethnicity? I understand what you were saying, above, however, you confused nationality with ethnicity.

Ethnicity is simply one of many preferences a person can have when it comes to dating. I was in a long term relationship with an Amerasian woman whose mother is Japanese and who spent her formative years growing up in the Japanese culture. Even though she has paternal relatives in the U.S., and spent time here, she really did not become "Americanized" until nineteen when her family moved to the states. It was a great relationship while it lasted.

As the U.S. of A. is known as the "melting pot of the world", having been populated over the years mainly by European cultures and then to a lesser extent from everywhere else in the world, my question for you is: that your friend seems to be confusing culture and ethnicity when stating that "hes not at all attracted to pretty much any ethinicity from europe". What is the difference between a person living in one of the European countries and a first or second generation individual born and raised here? Isn't s/he of some European extraction? Aren't most of us??? What about those people who come from one of the Pacific islands and who may be of mixed blood? I think all y'all better rethink the matter of "race" vs. all the other aspects and qualities a person was born with.

I watched a TV program once in which a very dark skinned African American male guest stated that he would not date or marry a woman who wasn't at least several skin shades lighter than himself. Preference? What about red heads, blonds, brunettes, or any other body type you want to discuss?

I hesitate to ask what your thoughts are on the various indigenous people of the world who happen to have dark(er) skin. Would you date a Hispanic woman, American Indian, Indian Indian, Aboriginal Australian, New Zealand Māori, etc. If no, is it truly because of skin tone or does this have more to do with cultural differences?

What exactly is "racism"? Do you consider it prejudice or discrimination against a particular culture or people of a particular skin tone irrespective of heritage?

[odis85]

ducktales- no not at all

wet_suit_one- lol may not want to use the word dink in your posts... im still not even sure i have an accurate idea of what it means. unless the n replaces a c i am at a complete loss

dancingdoc- im Caucasian and i would define racism as thinking less of someone because of their color alone, but i am asking for other ppls opinions and not nessasarially facts.

[dlb]

What is your point? You are afraid that you might be racist because you only feel attracted to caucasian women or possibly only light complexioned caucasian women?

Get over it. Everyone has preferences.

[CrackBaby]

Women will say its down to preferences. Really this is the form of racism that women most often practice. Sexual racism is probably the most common form of racism possible.

If you blanket don't find another entire race of people attractive at all, then you are racist against them for whatever reason, usually socialization.

In practice this is why there are so few White women, Chinese male relationships out there, because of the way the media and most people's experiences have led us to feel that chinese males are small, non-masculine, and generally asexual. Chinese women on the other hand tend to be somewhat sought after by white men.

People will probably be up in arms over this swearing no they aren't racist they just have their preferences, and give a handful of anecdotes about how this is true. But fundamentally the ultimate decision of whether you're racist or not is whether you would have sex with someone based on their race.

Lots of white girls will be the first to be up in arms about a racist statement, be all over the activist groups supporting x minority cause, and any number of other things that appear to make them worldly and new-age liberal. But then when it comes out to who they're willing to have sex with they revert back to what they were socialized into from their upbringing (typically a white male, that dresses in a manner that they found attractive when they were younger).

Further from that, white girls as with girls of all races have imagined their wedding for as long as they can remember, or at least imagined what a nice wedding would be. I'd say that less than 1% of women ever pictured a minority as the groom and this carries into a lot of subliminal decision making. It is a form of racism and people just don't realize it.

[dlb]

Originally Posted by CrackBaby

Women will say its down to preferences. Really this is the form of racism that women most often practice. Sexual racism is probably the most common form of racism possible.

If you blanket don't find another entire race of people attractive at all, then you are racist against them for whatever reason, usually socialization.

In practice this is why there are so few White women, Chinese male relationships out there, because of the way the media and most people's experiences have led us to feel that chinese males are small, non-masculine, and generally asexual. Chinese women on the other hand tend to be somewhat sought after by white men.

People will probably be up in arms over this swearing no they aren't racist they just have their preferences, and give a handful of anecdotes about how this is true. But fundamentally the ultimate decision of whether you're racist or not is whether you would have sex with someone based on their race.

Lots of white girls will be the first to be up in arms about a racist statement, be all over the activist groups supporting x minority cause, and any number of other things that appear to make them worldly and new-age liberal. But then when it comes out to who they're willing to have sex with they revert back to what they were socialized into from their upbringing (typically a white male, that dresses in a manner that they found attractive when they were younger).

Further from that, white girls as with girls of all races have imagined their wedding for as long as they can remember, or at least imagined what a nice wedding would be. I'd say that less than 1% of women ever pictured a minority as the groom and this carries into a lot of subliminal decision making. It is a form of racism and people just don't realize it.

Quite the pontiff you are. !!! Where do you get your information? I say let's not waste forum space on this and get back to talking about sex. ------
From a brown haired, green-eyed American of Irish, English, Welsh, Scots, Dutch, French, German and Cherokee ancestry married to a redfheaded, brown-eyed Mexican of Spanish, French, Mixtec and sub-saharan black African ancestry.

[odis85]

dlb- no your insanely wrong and i dont care to get into why

crackbaby- thank you very much that was really the kind of answer i was looking for

[dlb]

Originally Posted by odis85

dlb- no your insanely wrong and i dont care to get into why

crackbaby- thank you very much that was really the kind of answer i was looking for

Thanks for the adverb. It would be polite for you to point out just what you feel is wrong and explain why you feel that it is insanely so.