Bringing someone else in..Good Idea or Bad?

[Kait13207]

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year and half now. The sex is amazing and we're always up to trying new things. Well, like every typical guy he wants to watch me have sex with another girl. I've made it clear that if that were to happen...I would be doing it for him, but I don't want him having sex with her..this is strictly for watching purposes. I couldnt bear to see him have sex with another woman, just like he couldnt bear to see me with another guy. I wouldn't mind doing this for him, it doesn't bother me. I just don't really know how to go about it?
I don't want to do this with a close friend...but I dont want to do this with a stranger either..i dont know.
Figured maybe someone might have some advice?
Thanks!

[dancingdoc2]

Probably not so good until you have established deep trust, are very comfortable with each other, and, have a good command of the basics of lovemaking. Give this a couple of years then rethink this. Threesomes or twosomes with audience often are the downfall of a relationship. That is just the statistics of it.

[Kait13207]

Thanks for your response. I appreciate getting someone's insight on this.

[Brandye]

At this point, forget it. He has seen too many porn flicks. Watching two women go at it, for real, is not that interesting.

[Kait13207]

Again, thanks for the advice.
it really does help getting info from other people.
This is the only place I've really found where i can talk about this stuff.

[dancingdoc2]

Even if your boyfriend does not watch a lot of X-rated videos, he still probably has a vivid imagination and this can be the source of his interest. Consider also that he has a healthy curiosity and may simply want to compare body types and parts if he hasn't seen many women w/out clothes on, in addition to what Brandye says as activities not so interesting to observe. If he wants to watch, then why not set a camera up on a tripod and record the two of you? (I would only agree to this if you can state on a bible and with every certainty that he will not show the content to others or give copies away. If you have the smallest inkling of doubt, DON'T! as this is an automatic deal breaker.)

If your relationship is not based on a FWB, then he ought to be working on making it the best expression of the love he has for you that he can. You do this with each other over time, not with a third person in the mix.

Add spice and interest in your love making by trying different positions, varying the ordinary ways and changing one or more things about doing them, even if you only lie with your head toward the foot of the bed. Explore scripts, play "nurse"/"doctor" or "hospital". Make love in a field, on a secluded beach, at a drive-in movie, in a different room. Keep changing what you do a little bit and this will keep things interesting.

I recommend that the two of you read the many how-to articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen. He may very well benefit from the acquisition of more insight and ideas on how to be more romantic and learning and working on this aspect of a love life will generally pay off very well in the sex part of your love life. After you've read the majority of the articles listed in the Index, go pick up "The Joy of Sex" manual at your local bookseller.

[Kait13207]

All of this info has helped grealty with my perspective.
He has been with about 5 other girls before me. We've also made several tapes of ourselves on several occasions. I would love to try having sex in a bunch of different places, it's really hard to get alone with him so we can go anywhere...usually his brother or best friend practically lives over at his house. I also live in another town about 45 minutes away at college. So seeing each other is a bit difficult. I try to read up on a lot of this stuff, maybe I should get him to too. Yall have been so helpful.

[EvilEvilKitten]

As to person highly experienced in these matters - BOTH of you are NOT ready for any sort of group sex.

Are you truly bisexual or is this just 'a neat idea'? Because if you you aren't truly bisexual then you're NOT a good lay for this other woman and why should she bother? What do you have to offer her? Not like you're going to be sharing your guy with her so PFFT. She can get better elsewhere.

Point being this is NOT just about you and your guy - groups of whatever size are about everyone getting part of what they want and giving a part of what the others wants. Share and share; compromise and compromise; all of it ALIKE. I don't see that here. I see "I want to please my guy." Neither of you is willing to truly share.

Look, just because he might want it, does not mean you have to cave in and let him have it. Men think it would be sooo great to watch two women - but ask those who have done it - it really isn't all that much fun because most often the guy is kicked to the curb and told to go and masturbate elsewhere. Seriously. I tell you true. I have heard all of the complaining done by the men who had thought this would be a great idea. Even my one teddybear who tried it with 3 women didn't really have as good a time as he had expected - he had become superfluous.

Threesomes are best when the MFM focuses upon the woman and only upon the woman, and when the FMF focuses upon the man and only upon the man. Anything else devolves into a mess.

You both have more thinking to do on this.