Age difference

[JustMyself]

I tried searching and I came up with nothing. But I wanted to get some people's opinion on couples with age difference. Mainly because I'm currently in a relationship with a 38 year old women, and here is the kicker... I'm only 17. I know it is looked down upon, but I have known this women for almost 3 years before we started having feelings for each other. And we both agree that we are on the same maturity level. Now I've read up a lot that says it can't work, and blah blah blah. But I honestly know I am in love with her. From the bottom of my heart and soul I know this. It has been a pretty big emotional undertaking thus far. But I've been handling it and have come up with the conclusion that I know my feelings are real, and no one can say anything to make me change my mind. So anyway... I wanted to get some advice from the good people here, and maybe get some opinions on the whole thing.(Not my situation, just in general)

[Mr. Saint]

I am all for young men dating older women. I am 17 and dating a 19 year old and have dated up to 21 year old when I was 16. I also had the chance to date a 23 year old and even then some senior members on this forum told me to go for it. I even have to say 38 is way too old for you. There is a lot of life experience that she has that you don’t. Your hormones are hijacking your brain and destroying your ability to make rational decisions. I mean honestly, she is old enough to be your mother.

[sera300]

I have to ask where her judgement is. At 17 she should not be engaging in a relationship w/you much less a sexual relationship...she needs to really look at the law.

Why would a grown woman date someone with so many experiences yet to have? Have you thought of this???

[JustMyself]

Well the state i'm in age of consent is 17. And to be honest everything you mention, I have thought of. I've put A LOT of thought into it. And I take your words with stride, I do. But I know how I feel. She also has 3 kids. LOL And I've gotten incredibly close to her family before hand, so it's been an easier transition. I'm not all the way there. Like we aren't living together, and i'm not playing the step father role. We have been taking it slow. Because obviously we both have had concerns. Yes I'm young. Yea she is old enough to be my mom. But when it comes to my feelings, I am rock solid with them. When it comes to my hormones, I don't believe that's the reason. When it comes to the future, obviously the kids are apart of it. And when I think about it, any other 17 year old would only be in it for sex. But I honestly see myself building a life with her. It's hard to express over the internet and through text, but I'm deathly in love with this women.

[sera300]

Don't plan on kids w/her...forget it.

Think about it, you may be there [nothing to personal here intended] but what does a 38 y/o woman want w/a 17 y/o?

I met a guy over the summer thought he was older, nice guy & all, but he was not part of my life for a real future just for the then & there.

We had no life experiences in common & he had no real life behind him; and was just getting a career going. I was well through mine.

So I ask what is she so attracted to in you? Beyond you being nice? Why is she not with a man closer to her age? When do you think she will realize the age gap? When you are 47 she will be nearly 70!

[sera300]

I would read your state laws carefully & be certain of you not being 18 yet. I do know here the law has been changed to 17 for AOC for sex & regardless of the other's age. Meaning a 17 y/o can date/have sex w/a 60 y/o now. Yet they still are not of legal age of majority which is 18...they are still bound by parental consent. Strange laws.

[JustMyself]

She has already realized the age gap. And that what scares her the most about the whole thing. She feels that I'm gonna lose interest, and eventually hurt her. And that would be the LAST thing I would ever intend to happen. I have asked myself, why could she possibly be so interested. And she has gone over her feelings with me many times, and I know the future might be rough, but I wanna spend it with her. And it kinda has been eating me away cuz I couldn't really talk to anyone about it. That's why I came here to get some opinions. So I thank you for offering me up some words of wisdom.

[sera300]

What I am trying to tell you; she is NOT being truthful with you.

[Brandye]

A 17 yo male offered an experienced sexual partner and trainer will, predictably, fall immediately in love!

Now when you are twenty and want to go out with your mates for a game and a beer, what happens?

If she wants to show you the ropes between the sheets, and get her jollies with virile young man, that is her (and your decision). She cannot be seriously considering this for the long haul.

[JustMyself]

Yea I tend to get this vibe alot to. But then it's like i've known her for a long time, and I know the kind of person she is. I sometimes think that maybe she is just looking for a sex fling, but then she breaks down and tells me how she feels and I just feel at ease. I also feel like I may have gotten jipped in life because I feel she is my soul mate, and it sucks because even though I don't mind the circumstances now, it would have been easier to make it work if we were closer in age.