Why does everybody insist its not going to work out?

[Sakoend]

I'm 19 and my bf is 18 we have been dating for 10 months and still going

well i have posted questions about us on here and Yahoo answer and it seem like every question or every other question I get someone say in some way of form that our relationship is not going to last.

I know that our relationship might not last, we started dating Feb 28 2008, he is my first boyfriend and he says I'm the first girl he's ever felt more of something(he doesn't know how to describe it)

The thing is i come from a divorced family, his is not

and some people that i should date other people so make sure he really is the one, the thing I'm not attracted to any one else, the feeling is like a magnetic feel for me i don't know why but theres just this attract that pulls toward him.


this is the same feeling that back when i didn't want to date him because we where friends first that what so strong (lasted over a year) that i finally asked him out.


As much as i understand that you first love might not be you soul mate/true love, its still nice to think the first guy i fell in love with , the first guy i dated, my high school sweet heart might just be Mr. right


I like beating the odds


Why does everybody insist its not going to work out?

[arutha]

Because most first relationships don't work out, and because most relationships from that age don't work out for too long. Key word being most. Really, you should ignore the nay-sayers and enjoy it while it lasts. If it ends, then so be it. If not, you beat the odds. There is no point in not dating at that age just because it is likely it won't work out.

[revlon19]

It might.. But at the same time make sure you keep who you are, and build yourself as a seperate person from him. As much as it might happen, it may not happen as well. More times than not couples break up, divorce, seperate... And that is just life.

I started going out with my boyfriend when he and I were 12 years old. I'm now 19, him 20. Those first few years I honestly thought that he was THE ONE. We were perfect, a match made in heaven. We are still together.. But I'm not so sure that he is the one anymore. Not that there is even such a thing as 'the one'... But I'm having doubts.. and they sort of came out of nowhere. I care for my boyfriend SO much but something just happened to me this year where I just don't feel the same. You have to know that unexpected things happen in life. You cannot possibly know how you are going to feel 10 years down the road, 20 years down the road... 50 years down the road.

I think that you should just enjoy what you have! If you both feel it is going somewhere... Then stay togetherr and do whatever YOU both feel is right for you guys at the time. It is wonderful to imagine the wedding and growing old together.. Just stay true to yourself and don't lose who YOU are in the process.

Stop worrying about whether it will last forever... If you are worrying about this it just cannot be good. He will get annoyed and you will come off as very needy.

He is your first boyfriend. My boyfriend right now was pretty much mine... And it is only now that I am realizing maybe there might be something else out there. I've talked to many people in their 30s and 40s who don't realize this until AFTER marriage... You don't really want to end up in that situation.

Soo bottom lines... Stay true to yourself! Make sure you make time just for you and become something seperate from him! Enjoy life and stop stressing!

[revlon19]

I'd also like to mention that I've said those exact same words many times before "I like beating the odds" and would always want to prove everyone wrong that we couldn't last forever... Although it might be fun, and a challenge to beat the odds.. Don't do it for that only purpose. If you feel it, stay with it, if you stop feeling it.. Its only going to get harder as time goes on. Trust me on this one.

Right now you feel in love and don't want anybody else, so no... Of course you are not going to leave the person you love right now and try to date other people... Where would the fun be in that? But someday you will feel something for another person... And when that someday comes don't just ignore it and try to beat the odds.. You are only in your first relationship and I've seen many girls fall for their first boyfriend and think they would stay together forever and ever and that he is completely the one... only to break up and realize- no, definitely not the one. Later on. Its easy to fall in love. Theres lots of fish in the sea.. But still.. Like I said just enjoy life and stop stressing do whatever is right for you now.

[revlon19]

Oh and another thing! lol.. Sorry... If your friends and family are also included in the ones saying it is not going to work out... You may want to listen. I've learned over the years that family and friend's judgements are usually what you should be listening to (assuming you have friends and family who care about your well being)... Its only natural to have a clouded view of the one you are dating!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Why do we say that - because it is true 9 times out of 10. You may want to beat the odds but...not going to happen. People change and evolve over time and it is best to give them room to do it. If after they have matured and they still want a relationship then fine. But if not..ah well!

Part of that maturation process is being out on your own, facing the world alone, dating others, hanging out with others, living and dealing day to day with what life hands you. He can't do that with you hanging around his neck. And you cant do that with him hanging around yours.

Your parents evolved and ended up divorced. It happens. But it is best to let it happen now rather than later - as you have seen.

You also have to realise that part of the reason you're hanging around his neck is FEAR - facing the world alone is very scary, for some people, so they latch onto what they have - rather like an inexpereinced swimmer strangling the life guard. Please be absolutely sure that you are not doing this! The life you see before you is GRAND and not at all scary if you grin back and dare it to its damnest as you go forward to meet it.

You have to be a whole individual with a coherent and satisfying life BEFORE you can ask another to join in it with you. Go out and build yours!

[CrackBaby]

because you're putting too much stress on it "working out".

[AussieBloke]

People think it won't work out because it didn't for them and nearly everyone they know. Thats just how things go.. the vast majority of r'ships at that age dont turn out to be the real deal.

But forget about what everyone else is saying love.. just go for it; have fun, dont worry about whats coming and just enjoy it. Most dont last.. but yours just might, so just enjoy the ride.

[jordan27]

It Might work out and it might not but you have to be willing to try even if you think it might not work out. Your first love might be your last it all depends on the relationship. If you can talk to him about anything and i mean any and everything then maybe there is a chance. But if theres even one thing that your even unconfortable talking to him about then maybe you need to ask your self why your uncomfortable with talking to him about it.

[xoxeatyourheartout]

based on the information i'm receiving, there isn't any reason that you WON'T last. just because you're parents are divorced, mine are too. so is 70 % of other american offspring. also, just because it's your "first love" doesn't mean it won't last a lifetime either. myself, my first love and i did not last. in the beginning it was quite honestly the most magical thing i have ever known, and we were great for two years. but we changed as people, we graduated high school and life hit us hard. so after being on and off for another 9 months, we finally called it quits. that is not how it is with everyone though, a very close friend of mine has been with her boyfriend since freshman year of high school, they graduated two years ago and now they are engaged. so don't let what anyone else says get to you. this is probably going to be the best time of your life, smile and know you have someone