new relationship.. one month dating.. going great.. just got some questions

[farmgurl21]

hey everyone im new to the site and i am michelle
but yeah i have have had about 3 serious relationships in my life and lost my virginity last dec ( 20) to a one night stand with a on leave marine.. i wish i cud take it back and all.. but long story short.. i got some sex experience.. and have only done it with one other guy... so question for guys here... my new bf and i saturday will be a year.. and we both made goals to have sex til at least feb.. so we dont rush.. but i know we both want it and we wanna wait... but i am actually kinda nervous.. i mnean since im not totally experienced.... u kno.. i just turned 21.. and he's 23... he's not really much more expereinced.. but has had two really long relationships... im trying not to make this question/s complicated.. but i have watched porn.. but here goes my questions.. i get turned on and all.., but im shy about it... how can i losen up and let it out? and do guys want girls to save it all off? i have most of it gone.. but still some hair... what shud i do there.. and i dont like oral sex on me or like doing it on him? any helop there?
what it all comes down to.. me and bf are gonna wait.. but when the time comes.. i want it to be magical.. u kno? thanks for the help.. means a lot



love always
michelly

[AussieBloke]

Originally Posted by farmgurl21

how can i losen up and let it out?

Its obviously easier said then done.. but its just a matter of relaxing, and making sure your doing it for fun and pleasure. When your in it for those reasons, you cant help but get into the swing of it. Dont get too caught up in the 'enormity' of it all, just roll with, have fun.. and as you do it more, youll relax more.

Originally Posted by farmgurl21

and do guys want girls to save it all off? i have most of it gone.. but still some hair... what shud i do there..

Really comes down to individual preferences. Me and most of my mates prefer to be completely free of hair, however, im sure so guys go for the whole hair thing.

Originally Posted by farmgurl21

and i dont like oral sex on me or like doing it on him? any helop there?

Alot of girls who say this aren't comfortable with themself - I obviously dont know if this is the case with you. However, alot of girls who aren't especially comfortable with themself with say this and when they become more relaxed and comfortable, begin to explore a little more and like it. Or perhaps its just not you, and thats ok too!

[Ducy]

Heres the thing. If your talking about how to make sex like a porno....dont.

If your talking about how to not be so embarassed about getting aroused from things. Its hard. You have to really be comfortable with the person your with, and you have to just kinda...well for lack of a better term "grow some balls and just do it"

You could always just try fooling around in the dark so you dont have to worry about any hang ups (since the lights are off and you cant see anything)

For your pubic hair, there is some attraction to having a fully shaved area, but its more because men are attracted to visual things and seeing a shaven vaginaa is definitely visual.

If your not comfortable with it, dont do it. But if you want to then by all means, get a good razor, some good shaving cream, soak in a warm bath to soften up the hair and help cut down on razor burn, and shave.

Finally for oral, Aussie put it best. Generally its a body hang up, (as far as you not enjoying being on the recieving end of oral.) The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more you will enjoy it. Performing oral on him is a different story. Some woman genuinely dont like it. Just like some enjoy swallowing and some dont. If you dont like the taste or smell down there, take a shower with him and perform oral there...guys just like girls will sweat and sometimes the smell or taste wont be too appealing.

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums, Michelle. I hope you enjoy participating.

Here is a partial quote from another thread earlier today that might comfort you.

[I]>> "i am new to sex and have had sex a couple of times, but i am nervous that i am not good enough in bed.

Your questions are excellent. Let me answer this question with a question. When you learned to ride a bicycle, were you accomplished the first several times you sat upon one and attempted to ride off down the street? The same goes for other endeavors. You are not alone, either. Men have fragile egos that I regularly butt up against in my dance classes. Many guys want to learn, take lessons, yet talk themselves out of doing it with an internal dialog that goes something like this: I will go to a dance with her but I know I'm not very good so instead of trying what we've learned I'm going to sit glued to this chair and not make an idiot out of myself or look like a fool. He's so concerned about appearance and being great right out of the gate that he doesn't realize that this "logic" is frustrating the woman he is with because all she wants is for him to wrap his arms around her and sway to the music if nothing else--yet she gets nothing.

I tell these students that they should not go to a dance to dance; rather, to go to a dance to practice. "To dance" in their minds means they have to "perform" and they know they may not be very good (even if they are). "To practice" suggests that they can go to a dance, practice what they have been taught, make mistakes, laugh them off and continue on because in their mind they are just "practicing" and not "performing". The same strategy works for making love. Practice, practice, practice, don't just attempt to "perform". Nobody expects you to be accomplished or even perfect when you are first learning something new. What should be first in your mind is that you explore and learn together and have fun in the process.

HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:
Please scroll down until you reach this chapter in the series.

Shaving is an individual preference--or not. If it is a style you wish to adopt or at least explore, then by all means do it; otherwise, remain au natural. When in a relationship, discuss it with your partner, who knows, maybe he would like to follow suit--or not, just enjoying your new look and feel.

There are plenty of posts on the topic. If you wish to shave, use only fresh blades, never any that are or have become dull. Use plenty of lather and shave with the grain. This is something that must be done frequently. It is better me thinks to simply cut the hair trimming it short instead of clean off.

Do you have any more questions or concerns? If so, please check out the Index, first, and then feel free to post any that are not answered there:

--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

[farmgurl21]

thanks for al your help as for the porno thing... i just kinda explored to see what i;d have to do/ since im not experienced.. mainly looking for tips.. etc... im not by any means trying to make one.. i ust really love my boyfriend and im kinda nervous.. being b/c im really into hm and dont want to screw anything up... but these are embarassing... so thanks for the help

[EvilEvilKitten]

First thing - STOP with the "hearts & flowers" and "making it magical" la la la la la - you're NOT 13 anymore and we're not in Kansas, Toto. In other words, you're 21 and it is well past time that you stopped being a child about sex.

Sex is the physical expression of desire where everyone is pleased by and pleases the other. You do NOT have sex with a body, you enjoy sex with a person. Therefore, whatever your figure, shaved or not, it doesn't matter - it is the person inside that counts. This is precisely why pornography, where it is just flesh, fails. Sex is NOT love. You do NOT have to love him to enjoy sex with him. Like him, yes; love him, no. No more body issues. If you're healthy and he doesn't care then it doesn't matter and you shouldn't care either.

You are typical of young women caught between what they were taught and what they are beginning to learn. Honey, all you were taught about sex and men is wrong, wrong, wrong. If you value yourself, he will value you as well and it doesn't matter if you've been with every cowboy on the planet or not. Your value is in your heart and your head. Good people have sex and enjoy it and not necessarily just with one person. If you want experience, go and get some- you're female and there are plenty of males who would be happy to help you out with that. No more whining about your lack of experience.

All I do ask is that you use BCPs and condoms - also lubricant if needed.