new man...new challanges?!

[mpc]

Hey all, I've started seeing a new bloke just a few weeks back. Last night we slept together for the first time and it was great, except he didnt cum with me and only came ages afterward on me. This is new to me, as previous to this I had a 5 year relationship. So I'm left wondering if it's me - which I dont' think it is! - is it him? is it deliberate? aaarrrhhh I'm really beating myself about this so any advice would be good! thanks

[Brandye]

You had good sex. He attained the necessary relief. So, it was not exactly the way you wanted. So what? Why beat yourself? See what happens next time.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The first time with ANY new man is going to be a learning experience and the worst - it usually improves after that as you two become further acquainted. Happens with ALL of us so there's no need to beat yourself up over it. Besides which we are each responsible for our own orgasms so it wasn't your job to "make" him have one anyway. All we ever do is "assist".

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.

Please read this article:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

This is Chapter Five of the article. Please scroll down until you find it.

> he didnt cum with me and only came ages afterward on me.

It is very unusual for a couple to climax simultaneously. If it is going to happen at all, the usual chain of events is that one orgasm will trigger the other within moments.

If the two of you are spending half an hour or more to making out in all of its various stages and he gets to the raw edge of his climax yet can still maintain control enough to move around and assume the position then he should be able to achieve an orgasm within a few strokes in most positions. Some require more, and of course, the amount of lube and any distractions can affect his concentration.

If you are trying to help him climax from hand and/or oral stimulation and are having trouble, there are two likely problems; first, he needs to provide feedback on how he is responding to your caresses and for what he needs now/next; second, the path to Nirvana is different than the path to a climax. Think of the two as a "Y" in which you begin arousal at the bottom. the path to a climax is via one of the legs and is not as long as the other. The path to Nirvana is a much longer leg and it will transport him to a much higher state of arousal and bliss, yet the stimulation is not the same as what he requires and is used to in order to trigger an orgasm.

What the two of you must do if this is what is happening is to pause, slide back down his arousal curve and take the other path.
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

> So I'm left wondering if it's me - which I dont' think it is! - is it him? is it deliberate? aaarrrhhh I'm really beating myself about this so any advice would be good!

It is not you, per se; rather being new to each other, not being in tune, and, perhaps not communicating verbally or non-verbally.

Help?

You have received some great replies. I hope we have been able to help.
Got questions?

[AussieBloke]

Your out of a 5yr relationship.. your used to the way one man likes it. This new man is different. As such, it will take you time to work out how he likes it and how he doesn't. As EEK said, its the first time round so it may very well be the most exciting, but you dont really know each others desires, wants, needs in a sexual sense so in all likelyhood will be the least pleasureable.