How to suggest to my girlfriend how to please me

[thokrit]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for two months now and she is very sexually inexperienced because she has never been in a healthy relationship.

I recently brought it up to her how I was becoming a little unhappy with the fact that I seem to be the more giving one in the sexual aspect of the relationship and she just receives I then explained that my nearly all my previous relationships followed the same route and I didn't want us to turn into that, she apologized compassionately and said she doesn't really know what to do sexually.

She has problems giving hand jobs because she has arthritis of the wrists and right when we started dating she told me she wouldn't give a blow job because she thought it to be unclean, but then I began to give her oral sex and I believe she has softened up to the idea a tad, I'd like to suggest it to her but I don't want to seem as if I am pressuring her.

My question is this I love this girl to death and I really don't want to cheat on her to get satisfaction but what is a nice subtle way I can go about giving her some ideas of things to try because honestly since all of my relationships I was always on the giving end I really have no idea what I like so I can't really explain it to her myself.

[sweetnothings]

How old are you and your girlfriend? When I was first starting to get intimate at 16 I was so nervous to do anything to my boyfriend. I wanted to, but my nerves got the best of me. That was more due to my mindset about sex. It felt "wrong" and "dirty"-in a bad way. I was basically always on the receiving end of fingering but I hardly touched him or even looked at him. I was just nervous and had no idea what I was doing. A few years later and I became a lot more comfortable with sex and actually enjoyed everything.

[thokrit]

I recently turned 18 and she is turning 18 in January

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums, if I didn't already say so. I hope you enjoy participating.

Originally Posted by thokrit

My girlfriend and I have been dating for two months now and she is very sexually inexperienced because she has never been in a healthy relationship.

What are you telling us? That her inexperience is in part due because she was in a non-healthy relationship? Inexperience is simply that, having no prior history or practice. In that, we all were or will be there, and often, again someday with someone else. Please read the following article on experience:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

My reply to those so concerned about experience or the lack of is that as a couple you should explore and learn together. Experience means you have knowledge, not necessarily skill. Each time we pair up with someone new, there will be a new Square One from which to begin.

Women have a different view of romance and sex than do men, so you need to understand that and also, patience is a virtue. Women have more hurdles to bound in the quest for love than do guys who often believe that making out and fooling around is where it's at.

I recently brought it up to her how I was becoming a little unhappy with the fact that I seem to be the more giving one in the sexual aspect of the relationship and she just receives I then explained that my nearly all my previous relationships followed the same route and I didn't want us to turn into that, she apologized compassionately and said she doesn't really know what to do sexually.

Asked and answered, above.

She has problems giving hand jobs because she has arthritis of the wrists

Use a lubricant on your penis. It will make the nerves much more sensitive and you much more reactive. She will not necessarily have to squeeze tightly or use a rocking motion with her wrist. Having said that, remember when you began masturbating? You no doubt had a sore wrist and arm for several days until your muscles became accustomed to a new way of working. Same thing with her.

and right when we started dating she told me she wouldn't give a blow job because she thought it to be unclean, but then I began to give her oral sex and I believe she has softened up to the idea a tad, I'd like to suggest it to her but I don't want to seem as if I am pressuring her.

We have covered this question many times. Once again, give her time to warm up to the idea. She also needs to know and understand that if your body is clean and fresh, there is nothing dirty about touching a penis or inserting it or any other part of your body (like fingers or a tongue as examples) into her mouth.

My question is this I love this girl to death and I really don't want to cheat on her to get satisfaction but what is a nice subtle way I can go about giving her some ideas of things to try because honestly since all of my relationships I was always on the giving end I really have no idea what I like so I can't really explain it to her myself.

Be patient and also understanding. Understanding also means acquiring some knowledge concerning the differences between men and women and how each approaches sex and romance. They do not look at things the same way as guys do. I recommend doing some studying while at the same time not pushing or pressuring her; rather, work as a team to learn as much as you can and then put those things that interest you into practice.

[thokrit]

thanks for the advice

[The Nice Guy]

What do you both do together over a weeks time?

[thokrit]

Originally Posted by The Nice Guy

What do you both do together over a weeks time?

We spend time together going out to places and spending time with friends but since we both started working we dont get to see each other very often

[MIGHTY BOOSH]

Don't take my suggestion too seriously but i say get drunk or pretend to be drunk and blirt it out

[dancingdoc2]

Man, I hope he does not take your comment seriously. That said, why post something like this. Drunk? Where in the overall scheme of things is it a good thing? In a few of my posts I have suggested acting a part; however, there is a positive motivation for this.

[MIGHTY BOOSH]

Well if he's drunk he can just blurt it out, this way he won't have to tip toe around it and she'll think "oh so that's what he wants" and he can always blame it on the booze