Keeping FWB just FWB

[38866]

I have this wonderful little fling going. I'm 30 he's 24 with a body I can't get enough of. It has no real future potential as our careers are going to take us in different directions.

So how do you keep it from turning into anything more? We do go out dancing together but those are pretty much our only dates. We were only casual friends before this but we do talk quite a bit now. Its been just a month and we have talked about keeping it going until he moves in May. I just want to protect myself a little so that I can just enjoy this time with him.

[dancingdoc2]

Dancing is good!

Establish ground rules and then stick to them. Right now the two of you are probably in lust with and enamored with each other and as with any new relationship these feelings fade and mature into more practical realistic feelings.

[sera300]

Since May is quite a ways away; I would use caution that you are in fact friends & not just lovers. Keep your heart close to you so you, as well as he should do the same, so you both do not end up hurt. Keep with what Doc said as well.

A good friendship lasts a lifetime--even those where there is a FWB relationship. Realize your boundry's and always be truthful with each other.

[lnt1103]

I've never been capable of FWB. I need more-I need commitment. Stay very aware of your feelings and how they might or might not be changing.

[smallestoftheclan]

FWB is hard. It depends on how easy your heart falls. I'll be 48 in March and he will be 61 in February. We met, thru work, in 1999. Became friends, have many mutual ones, thru the workplace. Our physical relationship, except for a few, is or should I say was our business. I had to end it a few months back because I want it all and he is happy being single.
Today we are friends, and as much as I think he wants benefits again, I can't. I love him, I want it all. Until he agrees friends it is.

[rosebanks]

tell him this is just a sex thing. and nothing more. (other than friends)
if either of you feel its getin a bit morre than that back off for a while

[EvilEvilKitten]

Friends with benefits means EXACTLY that - you're FRIENDS who enjoy each other's company outside of bed as well as within it. Some emotional involvement is expected. This is my preferred relationship with my minions.

If you want just the sex without the emotions, then you want a fuckbuddy which is just "sex then get out".

Which is it to be?

[sera300]

Too often FWB had been a coined phrase used for intentions which do not apply. This is a true friend, the person you can count on, often you share different goals and get along great. Yet you share a wonderful sexual relationship as well...not every time you see the other but when you both are open to it.

If done well with the utmost respect for the other it works well.

[smallestoftheclan]

Sera is right, I was friends with Goof for 3 years before we added benefits, or a sexual relationship to it.
He asked me over to his house and gave it to me straight up.
1. Will never be a proposal.
2. No overnights.
This one eventually changed because of my epilepsy and the side effects of the medications I take. It was either I stay or I don't come over anymore. His phone rang three times before I got out of his driveway the first night I stayed. LOL Got to love nosy neighbors. He had been in his house 20 years or so and I was, and the only to this day, woman that has spent the night.
3. Don't ask, don't tell.
I asked that he be conscience of our mutual health. Because I have had a hysterectomy and he a vasectomy we didn't use a condom, unless it was anal. Not my favorite position, but he likes it alot so...
I did tell him that if he was with anyone else, I didn't want to know and he had to wear a condom if he was.
He then told me to think about it "and to get out". You have to know Goof. He was cuter the first time we had been intimate and then him telling me to leave. It was pretty funny, and I do know and did know he cares. I think I scare the man. LOL Right now we are friends, I know he would like the benefits back but it is not going to happen. I want it all.
Friends with benefits is not a fling, a fling is something that has a point in time with it ending which it sounds like this has so it's up to you to keep yourselves in check and decide where it goes, if it goes...

[sera300]

Yes SOC but you "fooled around and fell in love".