ages

[rlgates]

ok, first, thank you to those of you who read my post about depresstion a few days ago. I am slowly getting better now, that and a weekend bender also helped!!

Now, after the bender, Earlyer today, I was out after work and met this girl. Very nice, and not bad looking. First time in my life I have just bumbed into some one and hit it off this well with them! Now, here is the thing... I am 27, will be 28 in about 4 months or so. She is 19...and still in high school till next june.

Greated, sometimes age does not matter, but, I am thinking in this case it does. Am I worng for thinking like that. I mean, 27 year old guy meeting up and going out with a 19 year old sounds like every guys dream.. but, I just dont know.

Anyone got some input for a guy who has never dated a girl more then 4 years younger then him.

[rosebanks]

im 19 and i have dated a 27 year old whos now 18 (i was 18 at the time)
age doesnt mater realy as long as both consent to it and are both legal

[sera300]

I know many who are 19/20 and have dated those up to 30. If you like her ask her out! What do you have to loose? NOTHING! See what you have in common, just ask her out on a date and go from there. No alcohol binging though!

Glad you are doing better.

[lnt1103]

Listen to your gut. I'd get to know her a little better first. If you got her number talk to her, if you got her email or something similar write her. Have a few conversations with her so you can find out more about what she's like. If you are then interested, as Sera says go for it. However if you see any red flags or if your gut is still sending you signals like you mention above, pay attention to them and walk away.

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you like her - DATE HER! Grow a set and ask her out.

[raez]

Often when it comes to big age differences between a man and a woman, I have to question a guys motive for wanting to date a woman so much younger. I'd say you dating this girl is toeing that line, but not necessarily crossing it. there are different variables that play into it. Things I would think about, people can be at drastically different points in their lives even when only a couple years apart when they are in the 18 to mid 20's ages, which can sometimes make a relationship difficult to pin down. Also, I would question whether it is just a physical attraction on the guys part, and the thrill of having an "older" or more mature man on the girls part. I think that often there isn't much more than a physical attraction and the novelty of the whole thing that such couples are experiencing. And though girls are supposed to mature faster than guys, I know plenty of 19 yr old girls that still aren't the mature equal of guys 8 years their senior. Of course I know 30 year old guys that aren't as mature as girls 20 years their junior..so really age and maturity level compatibility is something to be judged on a case by case basis. So I am not ruling out the idea all together, I just think those are things to keep in mind. If you are at similar points in your life, and find that you do really get along well on a personal level as well as physical attraction, then I don't think the age difference is "scandalous" or anything. Really it comes down to getting to know her better, and then seeing where things stand...so like the others said, ask her out, date and have fun, but don't approach it too seriously just yet.

[huh?]

Just remember a 19 year old isn't going to be going with you on that bender, she's not legal to drink.
And might not be a relationship to get into if you are depressed, or use alcohol to get un-depressed. You are 27, go see a doctor.

[Lost one]

I just turned 29 so I know what your thinking. I go to the bars and other local hangouts and see ladies in their young 20's. I'm now starting to think I'm too old. Why do I think this way when everyone tells me how young I am? I let life pass me by and I will admit to being bummed by it. Feels odd to see the ladies I look at are young, but they ladies that talk to me are older. So confused.

I do know many couples 10 years or more apart. Your not the first and won't be the last. If people ask, I think its safe to say your date is 19, just leave out the "shes in high school" part because you will freak people out. Many girls back when I was in high school chased guys in their 20's! Find things to do that don't involve alcohol though.

[sera300]

This guy has been through hell over time. I believe if you can strike up a nice date, go for it. I am going to go out with someone 10+ years my junior. Why not? Nothing to loose.

[dancingdoc2]

I agree with all of the above. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Talk to her several times in person and on the phone (no E-mails or P/Ms) and learn more about her and whether there are common interests and where her head is maturity-wise.

Keep the first few dates casual and very up and up. No liquor, no sex, just plan on having a good time while you scope each other out. If the two of you hit it off, continue the casual dating as you learn more about each other.

Please keep in mind and understand that wide gaps in age can and do make a difference when one of you is much younger than the other. Quite frankly she is probably more mature than a nineteen y/o boy, yet no where near as mature or experienced with life as you. She simply has not lived a long nor experienced as much as you so there is apt to be a great difference in maturity and interest levels. You may find after a few months that she is simply too young for you.