got a feeling?

[huh?]

I have just returned from a convention that my company held. I went down to the convention site, to help with the set up last Friday after my regular work day ended. There are numerous departments in my company and we set up areas for each, including what an employees desk would look like in that department if they received in coming calls.
The convention started last Monday and lasted the full week. We had invited our clients, and the employees they chose to send so they could see what happens in the office. Having numerous departments that take calls can be frustrating for our clients because not every department can answer a question for a different department. This can lead to lots of transfers and hold time. Some days I can't wait to leave. We can get as frustrated as our clients, they can vent and we can't.
Now to my question. I had made plans, with a client I guess you would say, to meet for a drink the night before he was scheduled to attend the convention. He was scheduled to attend on Wednesday, around 6 months prior to this ago we had started to speak, via email, instant message and phone while not at work. We hit it off, I've been with my company 11 years, he with his 7, and the company he works for has been a client of the company I work for 20 years. He didn't have my extension, and I was always very careful of my work vs private life.
So Tuesday morning I go downstairs and the front desk clerk informed me I had a message. Well it seems that he had come to the convention on Monday, and decided that he was not interested in meeting me????? Now, yes I had a picture of him, and he one of me. So he knows what I look like. How long he was there on Monday? I have no clue. I must of met 100 people that day, none of whom I had ever met, yet all who in my time at work have talked to. They were all excited to meet me, and me them. It's nice to put a face to a voice. And that night during the cocktail party, which I know he wasn't at, I wasn't the one sitting alone at a table or in a corner all by myself. I know he wasn't there because it was invite only, and there was a sign in, his name is not on it. He was invited to Wednesday night's party, and his name was not there either.
From what I have been able to get, I have connections so to speak. He changed his schedule on Monday at his work to work a later shift. Drove the 40 minutes to where the convention was being held, popped in for less than 30 minutes and then drove back and went to work. He then drove back early Tuesday morning to leave the note for me, he may of driven back late Monday I'm not positive on that one. So what feeling would he of gotten off me that he hadn't gotten off the phone? I had a picture of him so I think I would of recognized him, and after talking to him on a daily basis I know I would of recognized his voice.
And how do I change? I know that I should just think it was his problem, but this is not the first time it has happened to me. Any ideas? Thank You

[RichH]

wow, what are you really asking??? are you worried that you put on too strong of a vibe on a personal note, are you worried that you might have driven him off in such a way that he will advice his company to no longer doing business w/ yours??? was a very long winded post that left me curious as to what you are actually asking.

[sera300]

Change? No. Just do not mix buisness w/pleasure. Ever think he was married or met someone? Or perhaps he lost interest?

Leave well enough alone, do not date those who are clients [bad news], and do not date those you work with. Now go out, seek a man who you see in person & not in the virtual world.

[huh?]

Originally Posted by RichH

wow, what are you really asking??? are you worried that you put on too strong of a vibe on a personal note, are you worried that you might have driven him off in such a way that he will advice his company to no longer doing business w/ yours??? was a very long winded post that left me curious as to what you are actually asking.

I've done nothing unethical as far as business goes. There is not a rule, in my company to not have non-company interation with a client. I didn't talk company business, with him, after hours. And I wouldn't.

What I'm asking is why after 6 months then deciding to meet why after just seeing me would he decide not to meet me? And to go to the extent that he did, he didn't come to the convention. What kind of a vibe would I be giving off that he would come to that decision?

He had my picture, and yes it was one that had been taken recently. In fact we had exchanged numerous ones. I never pretended to be anyone other than who I am.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by huh?

I've done nothing unethical as far as business goes. There is not a rule, in my company to not have non-company interation with a client. I didn't talk company business, with him, after hours. And I wouldn't.

What I'm asking is why after 6 months then deciding to meet why after just seeing me would he decide not to meet me? And to go to the extent that he did, he didn't come to the convention. What kind of a vibe would I be giving off that he would come to that decision?

He had my picture, and yes it was one that had been taken recently. In fact we had exchanged numerous ones. I never pretended to be anyone other than who I am.

Okay no company impropriety, I thought it may be this since many do have a no client rule; perhaps he is married or is involved with someone yet did not have the courage to tell you? Have you thought; you did nothing wrong? Or there was another woman at the seminar which he may have personal interests in? Or did you just misread his interest?

[huh?]

No he's not married, nor living with a woman. I have his home number, know his address and email addresses. I also asked one of his co-workers at the convention, after he had cancelled, where he was. He was back at their office, and they were not sure why he had suddenly decided to not attend. He was suppose to ride with them, and cancelled with them that previous night. That night at the cocktail party, it was discussed how bummed he was going to be, because he was probably home with a microwave dinner, missing how much fun we all were having.
Nothing was said about me and him, and well I go back to work on Wednesday, should be interesting if he is one of the callers I get. I plan on just forgetting the whole thing. We live six hours apart and so I won't have any contact other than work. I'm a professional person, and it's over.
I just want to know why, why not even say hello? I shower, had had my hair done the week I left so it looked great, makeup, small amount of perfume (there's an issue of this in our office because of co-workers with asthma).

[sera300]

Maybe he is just not the man! Go back to being you, skip him, and maybe he has other issues you are not aware of? Trying to figure this stuff out? Well, it's at times non-explanatory. I do not think you did a thing wrong.

[lnt1103]

What has you thinking you necessarily did anything wrong, or that he necessarily decided he was uninterested? Did the note actually SAY 'uninterested', in so many words, or did it just say he couldn't and you're interpreting it that way? Has it occurred to you that perhaps something came up for Wednesday and he needed to rearrange his week? Very very conceivable. Don't take it so much to heart-be confident in your desirability. Just because people's plans change doesn't automatically mean their opinions of you changed their plans.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

What has you thinking you necessarily did anything wrong, or that he necessarily decided he was uninterested? Did the note actually SAY 'uninterested', in so many words, or did it just say he couldn't and you're interpreting it that way? Has it occurred to you that perhaps something came up for Wednesday and he needed to rearrange his week? Very very conceivable. Don't take it so much to heart-be confident in your desirability. Just because people's plans change doesn't automatically mean their opinions of you changed their plans.

Agreed...maybe it was something quite personal which he did not wish to share...maybe he came up with a illness.

I did forget to ask; has he called you since?

[EvilEvilKitten]

OMG - why on earth are you chasing after men who are patently NOT interested in you? You seem to be making a habit of this too but since you did not learn the first time getting ditched this time was inevitable. You were fortunate he left you a message - most men would not have.

If you do not meet men face-to-face it means NOTHING. No matter how much you chat or text or message or whatever - if it is NOT in person - it is NOTHING.

So, STOP doing it. Get away from work, get out doing something fun and see who you meet there. That's how you meet men.