Guys - would you want to know?

[electricfeel]

I realize that somebody posted a similar thread in a different forum, but my situation is a little different, so I'm curious.
I'm a virgin and having a "friend," (i.e. clearly we are very interested in each other) stay with me for the weekend in a few weeks. I'm in my early 20's, which isn't super old, but it's also not normal for people to assume you're a virgin. I feel completely comfortable with this guy and I could see being with him for a long time, so I would love to sleep with him. I'm kind of just trying to relax, let things happen, and not get too anxious, but I was wondering: guys - would you want to know that the girl you are about to sleep with is a virgin, or would that freak you out? Or would it be worse to not know and just think that she's bad at sex?

[Lost one]

I don't know, but I assume most men would like it. Some might assume you won't have sex. I am still a virgin, but I warn you that when I told my date that she tried to get me in bed sooner then I was ready for. It just was not sexy. Make him take it slow, but let him know your not wanting to be a nun.

[Jonathan_Philips]

I suppose if he saw it as only a fling it might bother him as it is quite a responsibility being a woman's first lover, but if you think he might be interested in a relationship too then he will probably feel honoured.

My advice would be to simply go with the flow and if things look like they might happen you can whisper that it is your first time.

Good luck with it all!

[electricfeel]

thanks for the advice - I am assuming he is interested in something more serious, even though I suppose I won't know until he gets here and we talk about it. Coming here is definitely out of his way, and he's very sweet and talks about the future a lot, saying "oh yeah, you should come visit me in the city where I'm from" and "I would love to visit you where you're from" and "do you camp?" and things like that. Just generally making plans for the future. He pursued me in staying connected after we spent months working together when I knew that he liked me but I was distracted by other things and wasn't the most welcoming of his subtle advances. But now everything has changed and I really, really like him!

[smallestoftheclan]

As a woman I would want the man to know I was a virgin. I was only 14 when I made love to a man I loved. Ya ya ya, making love, having sex, whatever. And yes 14 was way to young, I tell that to any girl who will listen. I was with this guy til I was 18, and I made the decision to break up. I wanted to wait an extra year before getting married and he didn't. So I ended it.
He was not a virgin, yet knew I was. So he took the lead, he made sure that I didn't feel any more discomfort than I was going to. And he was there afterwards, to hold me to make sure I was ok. No matter what the age, the more knowledge the better.
If he does want a relationship you being a virgin should not matter. If he doesn't then it will and you'll have your answer. You don't need him in your life if all he is looking for is getting laid.
As it is your home, be prepared in case it does happen. Buy condoms, a few on your side of the bed and a few on his. Condoms come in several sizes so you may want to buy a pkg with different sizes in the one pkg. Buy some lube with spermicide, bottle on your side and a bottle on his. Don't expect him to come prepared, yet if he does he does. Be prepared in case you do bleed, it's what happens so having something to protect your sheets and mattress from being stained is normal. Put a towel under yourself, keep it by your bedside and just pull it out and put it under your bottom. If he says something, take it as humor and don't let it break the mood. You may also want to wear a menstrual pad the next day or two if you do bleed.

[Genno]

To be honest, Virginity scares the crap out of me because girls tend to get too close to their firsts. Blah. It's just scary for guys sometimes.

[Brandye]

I just posted a response to someheart. Read that.

[arutha]

You definitely should let him know, if he just goes at it like he would with girls with experience it would be quite painful for you. It really needs to start slow with lots and lots of foreplay.

As to his reaction, every one is different. All you can do is put your neck out and try, chances are if he likes you he won't mind and may will even be thrilled. Some men enjoy the thought, others prefer girls with a bit of experience so they know what they're doing, and others respond like Genno and get scared due to the possibility of clinginess.

[way-to-shy!]

if i was your id tell the guy...if i was goin to sleep with a lass and she told me she was a virgin, id take things a lot more slow, and i could then reasure her to make sure everything is going good and not too fast.

myself im 19 and a virgin still, im havnt got the oppertunity to be with someone soon like you do, and dont mean to "jack your thread" but girls - does this work the same way? would you wanna know if your sleeping with a virgin? thanx

[dlb]

I think having a virgin is a major fantasy for many men. Some men never have the honor of initiating a virgin. It is important to know before hand that one's partner is a virgin. That way the virgin won't feel "dumb" about not knowing some things and the (hopefully) more experienced partner will know that he might have to give some instruction and also might have to be patient. It can be very romantic if the two of you chose to make it so.