My GF falls for an online guy? HELP PLEASE!

[Dbondjuk]

Hi, my name is David and I'm 21 years old. My girlfriend's name is Amy and she is 20. We have been dating for 2 years now, since the 24th of Sept., but I think we ran into a huge problem. We both play this game called World of Warcraft which I'm sure most of you people have heard of if not, it doesn't really matter. Anyways, I guess since July 2008 she has been talking to this guy on the game. I never got jealous of anything of this sort because it was just usually harmless and she knew her place was with me. About a month ago, she told me she had developed feelings for this guy over the internet that she plays the game with. She told me that she has been heart broken for a few months because I have let the game take me over instead of paying attention to her. Since I wasn't giving her what she wanted which was romance, this guy has been romancing her over the internet. Saying sweet things to her, and he confessed his love for her. The odd thing is she has never seen a picture of him, but he has seen a pic of her before.

One day she came out of the bathroom and I happen to be heading that way, and she started crying and told me she doesn't know if she loves me anymore. We talked for weeks about all of this, but she said she doesn't feel a spark anymore, yet she says she loves me. I noticed a difference in her body language and knew it was more then that. I found out that she has very strong feelings for this guy over the internet and she claims she does for me as well. After a few weeks, I went away for the weekend to give her time to think, but from what I found out she still " doesn't know" What she wants. She tells me every day she loves me a lot and all this stuff. Ever since I found out about all of this, I have been sweeping her off her feet with romantic things, ranging from flowers to romantic dinners, to walking on the beach at night, sunsets, going out to dinner, and everything else you can think of. Now I have access to her AIM logs and WoW Chat logs and I have read them a few times before when I had a feeling she was hiding stuff from me. I have been good about trusting her lately, because I'm trying to get over this whole thing about him and her. The other night at our anniversary dinner, i asked her if we were Ok. (This was about a month after all the shit hit the fan and I heard nothing bad about this) She said she is still trying and she still has feelings for this guy and they just don't go away. I can understand that, but how can she tell me every day she loves me? If she doesn't I think I wouldnt be living here anymore with her. But for some reason I'm still here, she says she loves me a lot, she says " I Tried thinking of life with out you and i cant do it." She wants to do things with me, like going to movies and stuff, yet she still doesnt know who she wants?

I don't really know what I'm asking for her, but I'm so confused about what I should be doing. I've given her some space, i quit the computer stuff so i can focus on what matters to me the most in life. I want to marry her someday, but the way thigns are now I dont know what the hell is going on. She never wants to talk about it because we talked so much about it before. I've cried many times and so has she, but she still doesn't know what she wants to do. When we go out, you wouldnt even guess something was wrong. This is so messed up and twisted I dont know whats going on lol.

What would you guys/girls do? Would you walk away from her? I've read some logs where he said he loved her and she said i love u back to him. I've also seen him say sexual things to her, like "if you dont call back ill have to fuck you even harder and punish you" (bondage sex stuff) Which shes into. I guess we have great sex, but It could be better, and thats why i'm on this site a lot reading things.

What should I do? Should I continue to stick though this? DO I have anything to worry about with this kid over the internet? I mean he tried to kill himself over her at one point, but i personally think this kid is lieing and bullshitting everyone. he makes her feel sorry and bad for him and shes so blindsided by it and wont listen to me. I've tried to ask her to cut it off with him but i get the same shit about, I cant just forget about him that easily.

Anything ANYONE can give that is credible, I would really appreciate it. Sorry for the huge wall of text, but I really need some help here. My life is a living hell right now, I get so paranoid when shes on the game or even on AIM, or at school. I know they text each other too. Its so bad I even dream about this kid coming down here and taking her away, or i dream about her leaving.

Please, anything would help. Thanks for your time....

[TnL329]

Let me see here, you quit playing the game because she asked you to? Yet she won't give up the game for you? How many other things have you given up for her because she wanted you to? And really in the grand scheme of things, it probably does not really matter. I think you know in the back of your mind what you really need to do here. I mean are you happy? Is this working for you? Are you really doing and enjoying the things that make you you? Or are you trying to be some other person to keep her happy? And if you are, is she really even responding to you?

[sera300]

I think I would be seeking someone other if she is falling for a fictitious person.

[Dbondjuk]

Hm... I quit voluntary because the game was taking over my life. It helped me to ruin the relationship I have with my girlfriend. And yeah, I love her so much that I'm putting myself through all this pain and agony, hoping that it will blow over soon. I want to be with her so badly and she knows this. I mean, as of right now, every thing seems to be ok. But then again, I really don't know... She still talks to him, and the only way I found out that she still has feelings was by snooping around her logs on the computer. I hate to do that because I want to trust what she says, yet I don't wanna be lead on for a long time.

[TnL329]

Well, there needs to be communication! And, both of you need to figure out what you want. Mixed feelings are not a good thing!!

[lnt1103]

Bull S*** she can't forget about him that easily if she loves you as much as she claims to. I'm normally the one who utterly despises ultimatums, but I think it's time for one here. She gives up the WoW and the guy and focuses on the relationship the same way you are, or you'll go find the reciprocated devotion you deserve.

[Dbondjuk]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

Bull S*** she can't forget about him that easily if she loves you as much as she claims to. I'm normally the one who utterly despises ultimatums, but I think it's time for one here. She gives up the WoW and the guy and focuses on the relationship the same way you are, or you'll go find the reciprocated devotion you deserve.

See that's whats weird about this whole thing! She says she loves me so much and all this stuff, yet when I ask her to forget him and the game, she won't do it because she can't just forget about him. Like i know I'm being a dumb ass here for staying and not leaving, but I just can't do it. I can't come to myself to leave her, that's how much i love her. She seems so perfect for me lol -_-

Sigh, this is so confusing.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Dbondjuk

See that's whats weird about this whole thing! She says she loves me so much and all this stuff, yet when I ask her to forget him and the game, she won't do it because she can't just forget about him. Like i know I'm being a dumb ass here for staying and not leaving, but I just can't do it. I can't come to myself to leave her, that's how much i love her. She seems so perfect for me lol -_-

Sigh, this is so confusing.

Seems perfect for you while she has the fictitious man? Something is not in check here. Or she is just flirting w/him.

[TnL329]

DB take it from someone who has been there and done that with people who show mixed feelings. In the end you both lose. That is the cold hard truth. If she truly loves you how can she be in love with this guy online?

Trust me, you can walk away now, and you will feel like shit. I know, however, you will not be the one who lost. SHE WILL! And in the end you will gain valuable knowledge and perspective from this situation. I know that is of no value to you now. But truly, get out of this mess, go do whatever it is you want to do, and someone else will come along. And it will be a ton better for you.

[smallestoftheclan]

Ok, i am nor have i ever been someone who focused on computer games. This isn't your decision, it's her's. If you've given up the game for her why is she still on it? If she wants to make things work with you then she has to quit too.
I have a friend, her and her husband are in their early 30's and have been married for about 4 years. Been together 8 or 11 can't remember.
He focused on games, she chatted on line. Their was a guy that she dated, before her husband, who's family lived next door to her Grandmothers. Her Grandmother raised her so he lived next door to the house she was raised in. One day they ran into each other and things were said, things that should not of happened happened.
Her husband found out all this when he came home from the hospital and logged onto her computer. She had had heart surgery to save her life, aortic distension. His day was the worst gone to even worse. He called me, and we talked. I'm her friend. I know she loves him and that is what I told him, "I know she loves you".
Yet she felt that this other guy was giving her the attention and he wasn't. They talked, after she got out of the hospital (he put on a smile and went to see her and spend everyday with her even though he hated her, his heart was broken) and she stopped. Quit the few instant messaging sites she was on, took down her myspace page and her facebook page.
He fought for her, cause he loves her, and she did what she had to do to make him happy, because she loves him. To make them happy, she knows she can't go on any more rollercoasters and he stands and watches with her, she can't have kids and even though they didn't plan on having any being told she can't he gave her his hand and they are going to make it work.
What are you two willing to do to make it work????