Numbers

[Ducy]

OKay, so I really dont know whats wrong with me anymore. I am like 110% testosterone anymore. All I want and can think about his sex. So I try to go out and talk to girls. I figure as long as I could get into a relationship I would be ok. (Yes I am aware that a gf doesnt mean automatic sex but at least that way I could at least make out with someone)

Now I use to always be so intimidated to talk to attractive girls, but lately I have found myself talking to some pretty fine girls. I will talk to them for a good 20 minutes (or in todays case 8 hours cuz of traffic school ) And I just never seem to be able to ask for their number. Its like everything is going smooth, they are attractive, I think they are interested in me and I just sorta let it end.

I mean it may sound juvenile but how the hell do I ask a girl for her number? I mean I can make conversation no problem. Its kinda surprising who I talk to but then the number is where I freeze.

[dancingdoc2]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


1. As your conversation winds down state that you have enjoyed talking to her and would like to continue at a later date. Offer your telephone number and ask for hers and say you would like to call in a day or so--then do (if she gives you the number.)

2. Tell her you would like to take her out for coffee and ask if she would like to go. If so, see 1.

[Ephemera]

You might want to try asking for email, instead.

It's much less invasive to do that, and many women feel more comfortable with that.

As you say goodbye, walk away, then turn around, walk back to her, look her in the eye, and ask if she has email.

[smallestoftheclan]

Tell her you've really enjoyed the company and well you've loved to take her to dinner or a movie ect. Pull out your cell and put in her name and then ask for her number......

[dancingdoc2]

You do have a good point, Ephemera, yet the telephone has been around many more decades than the internet and people got together and actually "t a l k e d". What I dislike about present day technology is that it is so impersonal. We have PM, TM, EM, and, the telephone yet people would much rather communicate with one of the first three than by voice, inflection, or later, even a handwritten greeting card! Far be it for me to knock technology, yet I do firmly believe there is a time and a place for these indirect forms of communication and these would be later, not when you are attempting to get to know a person and establish a friendship, not to mention a date!

I saw a cartoon not long ago in which the man and woman were sitting across the room from each other sending each other text messages instead of opening their mouths! They were complaining about the high cost of cellphone service!

smallestoftheclan, your suggest might just break the ice; although, before entering her name, I think I would let her see the phone in my hand and then invite her to provide her phone number, first, before entering her name. She may just find the action of entering her name presumptuous. It's a toss-up.

Regardless of the approach used, ya just gotta take the initiative or nothing will happen.

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On another although related matter, after moving into a new house five months ago and signing up for DSL, having three telephone repair men and a woman out several times attempting to track down the source of severe static on the phone line and sporadic dropouts with the internet service, asking to speak to managers all to no avail, I finally called and talked to a local consumer advocacy service provided by a local Sacramento TV station and got nearly instant action and the problems finally fixed by a fourth repair man! Imagine trying to talk to people over static and the months of frustration of trying to surf or reply to an E-mail only to find that the internet has gone down for the count......... Alternative solutions to AT&T would have provided only partial solutions and at much higher prices. Now, I'm a happy communicator.

Ducy, you seem like a pretty savy guy, just ask in a kind, sincere, manner. You know I have stated many times about a relationship being a partnership, well, if the cat has got your tongue this early in the process how are you going to address the tougher issues later on? IF you need help, place a hand in a front pocket and squeeze one of the two round firm orbs.

[sera300]

I think a few of us are showing our ages! I agree what ever happened to the generation of "being personal", regardless if a handwritten letter, a telephone call to talk in order to find out about the other, or meeting in person? This IT is a big divide; relationships via text? I am waiting for a cyber wedding/marriage. Neither have to be in the same place at the same time, never saw the other in person, and continue as a "couple". We are loosing human interaction yet wonder why kids cannot go out and talk in public or be socially skilled in public!

Ducy: All you need to do is casually ask for her number, call her, and make a date to get together. Women are not complicated. But ask & do call. And be certain to set a date to go out as a friend or as a date. Don't be like the guy who calls me; frequently when he knows I am not home. And happens to be in another state for a while yet; I finally told him told him to call if he is in this state & wanted to get together...have not heard back from him! Strange dude! If we are nice & keep talking to you [men] means we are not just wasting our time, generally we [women] have an interest and are trying to get to know if we do like you. So what if her answer is "no"! If you don't ask; you will not know and you will be missing a opportunity to meet & know someone you may actually like. Or you might just find a good friend.

[smallestoftheclan]

Hey Doc static in phone lines can be caused by water. I worked for many years in the tele-communications industry. A woman of many talents yes I am. It is also the hardest to sometimes resolve, water in the lines that is.
And yes, let her see your phone, if you start to enter her name and she declines to give you her number you close your phone and either offer her yours or you end it there. Maybe she will ask you for yours, there are many women who prefer not to give out their numbers.
With todays technology, caller id and the such your phone number is out there soon. I know that I use my cell phones, I have 3, as my phone books. At least for phone numbers. And yes an email address is easier to remember. If you know that the email address to her work is such and such at her work name ask if it is ok to email her before doing so.

[lnt1103]

If it's something like a class, as y'all are packing up to go, 1)say how much you've enjoyed your conversation and ask if she has plans after class or after school then if not ask if she'd care to get a cup of coffee/tea/whatever(soda girl here) (and when you get there pay her way), or 2)ask if she'd care to study together sometime-two heads are better than one type of idea.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Mention going out for coffee and then say

"May I call you?"

That is all you need to say. If yes, then she has to supply her number. If she doesn't, well, that's your answer.

See how simple that is?