From a woman's point of view, what makes a good pick up?

[Lost one]

I always wanted to ask this to women but its not something I feel I can ask to a woman except on this site.


Your standing there and a guy does the whole eye contact, smile and approach bit. I am going to assume its obvious you know your about to get hit on. Help a good single man out here by answering these questions.

What is going through your head?

Do you know before he even opens his mouth whether he has a chance or not?

How much time does he have to make an impression?

What determines a good vs bad impression?

Should he try to frame himself as a friend or just make it obvious hes out to seduce you?

I'm burning to know whats in your minds!

[sera300]

1-Better start talking to me before someone else does.
2-Generally since either you think he is attractive or not. If he opens his mouth and can not converse well; then the chance is gone.
3-First impression is about the first three minutes of talking & then how he acts/treats me if I go out with him.
4-Good impression, polite, smiles, articulate, humour, banter, appearance of being neat, tidy, and over all care about his appearance & looks. For me must be at least 6'1 and in good shape. I don't know why, just a "thing" for me. Has to meet my criteria.
Bad impression? Bad habits such as pay attention to others, cannot establish eye contact, stares at your body, answers a cell phone, too busy with his buddies, not neat & tidy, cannot converse well. I want to know somehting significant about a man right then & there as to why I should go out with him. And will provide the same; can be a common interest or good conversation. And don't try to take me home with you then & there; not happening.
5-Be friendly but make it clear you want a date and are interested.

[smallestoftheclan]

[QUOTE=Lost one;224095]I always wanted to ask this to women but its not something I feel I can ask to a woman except on this site.


Your standing there and a guy does the whole eye contact, smile and approach bit. I am going to assume its obvious you know your about to get hit on. Help a good single man out here by answering these questions.

What is going through your head?

That totally depends on who I am with, more than 1 girlfriend you will see a group of women giggle like we are back in high school. Each puts in their opinion and a lot of times that opinion is what it is.

Do you know before he even opens his mouth whether he has a chance or not?

Sometimes, that can depend on appearence, the mans attire and overall cleanliness. Hair brushed down to shoes polished or at least not all beat to heck.

How much time does he have to make an impression?

A minute, not that the impression can't change over time but I think most people make a decision in the first minute or two about anyone.

What determines a good vs bad impression?

Way to many variables. Exterior, dress and the like to Interior, can you hold a good conversation. And if you're not intimidated by a group of women to approach one that is not a bad start. But you have to pick up on the vibe. Is it a girls only, "sorry I'm here with my friends" is a good clue that either she is not interested or is busy. That doesn't mean you can't slip her your business card and ask her to give you a call.

Should he try to frame himself as a friend or just make it obvious hes out to seduce you?

Inbetween because you are not trying to be a friend and unless it the local bar where all the women who are looking for a one night stand hang out I don't think the seduce me angle is spot on. Show an interest, and see what happens.

[constantlylearning]

You have to let your heart be the "pathway" and not be lame. Genuine conversation
and simply acting normal..................best approach.

[smallestoftheclan]

Very true CL very true. So much depends on where you are. What is appropriate can very from day to night.
A gentleman is always appreciated, at least for me.

[lnt1103]

Hear, Hear, CL.

Don't say something stupid that makes reference to anything remotely sexual. Automatic 'bye bye'.

Just an idea, and it's only from my own perspective:
"Hi, my name is X, can I ask yours? (shaking hands) Well (name) it's nice to meet you, can I buy you a drink? (if she answers in the affirmative) Hey, Bartender, I'll have a X, and for the lady? (Look at her and let her respond-or you could ask her 'what's your pleasure' before you get the barkeep)"
Or if she's seated start by asking if the seat next to her is taken. If not, proceed as above, but you've already started things off so no need to retreat if she declines the drink. Eye contact, but don't barrel down on her as you approach as if you're on a mission.

Some may think that sounds lame, but I really do think common ordinary courtesy and manners are starting to become a lost art. Therefore, they tend to impress me.

That should nicely break the ice. Then, above all else, BE YOU. You have to get it in your head that this person who you authentically are WILL attract the right person.

[constantlylearning]

I hear you............why not be a gentleman? Chivarly is much like the
sportsmanship that we were always taught while playing. Nothing wrong
with playing hard and tough. In the end, you must do it within the rules
of the game and with class. So should dating, relationships, friendships,
etc be conducted. This is not earth shattering or a new idea. I think most
conduct themselves as such. I would highly believe the opposite is quite
remote.

[smallestoftheclan]

CL, there are some real idiots out there. They can come off as you should be honored that I have choosen you to speak to. When it should be you appear to be special. Compliments go far, and not unnoticed. And if you don't think we see you work the room, with one line, you are wrong there as well.
Even though I grew up in a very ritzy area my dad worked his butt off, and in what some would call a blue collar field. He owned a small tool and die shop so metal shavings were everywhere, and so what. He was an honest man making an honest living. And that is what attracted me to Goof. He didn't wear a suit and tie but if he was going out he was in clean clothes and a pair of shoes or boots that he had for going out not for working in.
I usually keep an outfit or three with me, including panties in case of an emergency trip to the dr or hospital. It's no big deal to me to keep a pair of jeans and a sweater with tennis shoes, a nice pair of slacks with a blouse, a jacket and a pair of flats, and a dress with hose and some heels in a suitcase in my vehicle. If I want to go out I am ready.
Also it is not that expensive to go get business cards made. True you probably can't use your company logo but if you have a card with the info you are able to use then you have something to hand to someone in any occasion so they are able to reach you if they desire.
We women take care when we go out, if we see a man that does the same it gives us the impression that he likes himself. And someone who likes themselves is usually a much happier person to be around than someone who doesn't.

[sera300]

My Dearest CL [meant politely & endearingly];

I am with SOC; have you not read what I have been complaining of? Men act like animals & cannot behave politely for the most part. Recall the texting and cell phone stuff? That is minor compared to the guys on the loose; I wonder which women actually put up with their bad behavior.

[constantlylearning]

Well, I think alot of us have gone through times and days that we wish we could
change. Maybe, we were a little too full of ourselves and thought to highly of ourselves.
Cocky is perhaps a good work. Time has a way of mellowing much of that out in the
long term. Been there done that...........Big man on campus scenario. NOT ATTRACTIVE.