friend coming to visit...

[sunshowers]

....................

[EvilEvilKitten]

Excuse me? You're going to have this man with you, alone, all night? Are you INSANE? Look, even I, a woman of vast experience and resource, would NEVER EVER do that - not for the first meeting with a new man.

But, assuming that you're not insane but just without epxperience, I'll be kind. This is what you do.

You take him out for coffee and talk with him. You will DEFINITELY ask about his previous relationships. Red flags: 1. all breakups were her fault 2. he doesn't want to talk about them 3. every girl he dated turned out to be psycho 4. he hit her once 5. he does drugs or all he wants to do is drink and/or have sex. Listen to your instincts here. If you feel something's wrong - do NOT invite him home with you. Not even for dinner!

Even if your friends are away still have them call you periodically. Do NOT tell him that your friends are away. You want him to think the calvary that would be more than happy to ride to your rescue is right there in your closet.

After coffee, take him around and show him the sights. During this time - you have to make a judgment call. Where will he sleep? Your bed? On the sofa? Out in his car with you safely behind your locked door? Remember that it is YOUR choice.

Do not permit yourself to be pressured by anything or anyone to let him spend the night inside your home.

You may feel that you know this man but you don't. Not really. That is why you are here wondering what "his intentions" are. You know what he wants.
During this visit, it is up to you to decide what YOU want. Whatever that might be - tell him directly. Do not send mixed signals. If it is no say no and mean it. If it is yes yes yes - then go for it.

That's Method One. If you'd like to hear Method Two, let me know.

[Mr. Saint]

I mostly agree with Evil except for one thing. If he is staying for more then one night, don’t invite him in to your bed on the first night. A couch is a good place for the first night, of course if he is not a creep I mean. See how he acts when he is I alone in your house and just on your couch before you sleep with him.

[sunshowers]

hahahaha wowww guys. He is not a creep - just trust me on this one. It's not like I just "met" him one night at a bar...we were working together/spending afternoons and evenings together for months. I know a lot about him. That is not what I'm asking for advice on. Sorry if I wasn't clear - I would like something to happen with him...I'm an intelligent, strong woman and would never, ever allow something that like to occur if it wasn't on my terms. And I know that he would never do anything like that to anyone.

But there's probably no point in explaining that because you guys don't know me and therefore can't really give me advice anyway. Thanks for making me feel like an idiot every time I try to use this board.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Next time say all of that UP FRONT. You made it sound like you had only met this guy over the Internet after having seen him somewhere at a distance and had only chatted with him through email.

No, you were NOT clear.