who chooses the date

[duh477]

This girl I have gone out with once never makes any suggestions as to where to go I make the plans she tells me to make all the plans and says she doesnt care. her words are "im easy going" so its like were just gonna do all the stuff I wanna do because she doesnt suggest anything what is she trying to tell me? and should I make all the date plans or should she pick what to do sometimes?

[sera300]

I would think she would be imaginative enough to say "hey how about X" and see if you enjoy what she may find interesting.

[Mr. Saint]

I have had a girl do this to me just recently. Every time I would ask her what she wanted to do, she would say something like “it’s up to you”. I found it so irritating. She was the kind of girl that wanted me to read her mind instead of her telling me what she wanted. It was even more difficult to figure out what she wants because English was her second language. I could never read her so it was very frustrating. Eventually I said “to hell with it” and just stopped worrying about it, I just asked her what she wanted and when she did not give an answer we would just do what I wanted.

[raez]

Its possible that maybe she is just afraid of suggesting something that you wouldn't be into. Does she seem like a very shy or self-conscious type? Maybe force her to make the decision, not in a rude way, but just tell her one night that its her turn to make all the decisions about what you do and that you aren't having any say. Or if you feel like that may be too much for her... come up with a few options, and have her choose. You could try to make them things you think she might enjoy from what you know about her, or if you want to test out her spirit for adventure, pick a few things that are more wild and less run-of-the-mill average date activities.

[Lost one]

Its a "man has to lead" thing. Women usually seem to want a man to lead them. This includes making choices. In my short dating experience this is usually the case. Try giving her multiple choices and see how that works.

[dancingdoc2]

In my one experience with this, I had no clue until the marriage was about to end that one of my wife's complaints was that we always did what I wanted. Like you and others, I asked, got no suggestions to the contrary, so we did do what I had suggested in the first place--apparently over and over year in and year out.

This girl needs to understand that she cannot always be agreeable to whatever comes down the pike. If she has a wish to do some activity on a date, then it is her obligation to voice that wish. Speaking up for herself is not a sign of weakness. The two of you must understand now sooner than later that a relationship is a partnership in which two individuals join together in order to make something greater than the sum of its two parts.

A man should guide the relationship, not necessarily "lead" it, a word that can be misconstrued. In guiding the two of them, he has every right to ask for input and a wimpy reply like she has been giving you is not holding up her end of the bargain.

You can ask her if she prefers X activity or Y activity and if she has no preference then advise her that you would like to do Z and would she like to join you. If she agrees, then you know she is interested in being with you and participating. If she agrees, she has no one but herself to blame if she is doing so just because she does not speak up for herself.

[goof'schik]

As goof and I don't leave his property I will have to go back to previous relationships. In my last job, which I loved and miss to this day, I talked to a lot of men. And my suggestion for gift ideas was pretty much the same. You need to listen to her. Have you been somewhere and she saw something she liked and pointed it out to her, go back with out her and buy it. That way you have something to give she would like. And I don't mean a blender or a vacumn.
So, if she is unable to give date ideas, listen to her. Have you been in the car and a song come on and she comments on how much she likes the band? Get tickets for the next time they are in town, kinda her idea. Or if you drive by a place, so and so had dinner there and said the food was good. Or so and so and so and so went (fill in the blank) and had a good time. Or when I was a kid I loved doing this or going there.
Maybe she is afraid of making a suggestion because in the past she's been asked and then shot down on that idea. Not by you but by someone else, even a girlfriend. Maybe she likes telling her girlfriends or co-workers what a great guy you are and all on your own you took her here and you're going to take her there. We females are so hard to figure out.
Good Luck

[dancingdoc2]

I agree with GC. Before reading her comments I was going to add that it is possible that she simply does not know what would be a nice activity to do on a date. If this is the case, then in addition to the suggestion, above, suggest X or Y and ask for her input. If she always says "either" then I stand by my original assessment.

[EvilEvilKitten]

oh jeez!

This is a test. This has only been a test. And you have failed.

What she means is "You should know me well enough by now to have some idea of the things I enjoy doing. Get a clue and set it up."
What do you talk about? Hobbies, friends, pets and so on - sooo get a clue. If she reads a lot - go browse a bookstore. If she likes pets animals - try a zoo. Get my drift?

[raez]

I don't think you can know that that is the case for sure. It very well may be, but there are girls out there ( I know plenty of them, and for a long time was kind of like that myself) who just don't want to make the decisions, for a variety of reasons, not necessarily because she expects HIM to know what she would like to do. Maybe along with not offering any suggestions, she also doesn't offer up a great deal of information about her own likes and preferences towards things in general, in which case, how should he know what she would like to do? It all depends on how much she has actually let him know about her. Also, if its a test, its somewhat unfair. Yes, its fine to find out if he pays enough attention to know what she likes, but what about her doing the same for him. For at least one occasion when he asks "what do you want to do tonight", why can't she surprise him with a suggestion of something suited to what she knows about him?

Thats just my take, but I wouldn't rule out that she is indeed trying to test him. I just don't think we know enough about their interactions to assume that that is the case, one way or the other.