Someone explain this

[sera300]

I am certain he has much to say...right Ducy? LOL! Good for you!

[Ducy]

Haha well it was fun, she was cool, but like after the end of the night, I just kinda was over it. I dont know maybe I am going crazy but just after I went home I just sorta realized that I wasnt into her as much as I thought.

Plus she reminded me of this one girl who just really bugged me back in high school so I dont think it helped much.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Ducy

Haha well it was fun, she was cool, but like after the end of the night, I just kinda was over it. I dont know maybe I am going crazy but just after I went home I just sorta realized that I wasnt into her as much as I thought.

Plus she reminded me of this one girl who just really bugged me back in high school so I dont think it helped much.

Is this the same one????

[goof'schik]

boys and girls this is why there is dating.

One thing Ducy, did you tell her you would call her? You have to call if you did, but you don't have to ask her out.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I am disappointed in you, Ducy!! Permitting yourself to "past think" like that!!
Instead of seeing her, as she is, right here and right now, you thought, instead, of a woman who wasn't there. BAD MOVE! She more than most likely noticed.

Call her if you said you would but don't bother asking her out, she already knows you're not into her.

[Ducy]

Im sorry EEK, its just tough considering that she is EXACTLY like this girl who use to bug me. Like she was psycho. and this girls mannerisms and everything were axactly the same.

I dont know maybe I should just get a lot of female friends and hang out with them all like I use to...it was a lot more fun back than haha

wait I am past thinking again.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Correct, Ducy.

[lnt1103]

EEK's right on past thinking, but....

I gotta give you credit for seeing what you interpreted as a 'red flag' and going the other way. So many ignore them out of wishful thinking.

[EvilEvilKitten]

As long as he knows WHY it bothered him, fine but if not, then he has some more thinking to do.

[Tao]

Each time, that's the clue to how I've known I was in love. I stopped noticing her physical flaws, because the way I thought about her consistently overshadowed any negative thoughts I might have about a little extra fat here, or a stretch mark there.

As to why this happens? Do a google search on pair bonding, and then do a search on classical and operant conditioning.

Basically, your brain has evolved to encourage propagation of the species. Your brain, by releasing chemicals when your mate is around, is encouraging you to overlook her flaws and want to have sex with her all the time (the honeymoon phase of a relationship). Your caveman ancestors would heed their brains, and stick around long enough to get her pregnant.

You are rewarded with physical pleasure from sex, and pleasurable feelings when you're with your mate, and are so conditioned that "new female = me feel good".

As far as advice for you- Don't allow yourself to be sabotaged by your brain. Heed those red flags, and generally be choosier than your brain chemistry wants.