Long Distance sucks! Advice please!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Stop! "Put into my life for a purpose". Are you 13? Forget fairy tales - I don't deal with them. Real life is much more fun.

Sweetheart, understand that ANY guy you hooked up with at that time would have fulfilled the SAME purpose. It has nothing to do with him in particular. It has everything to do with you and with YOUR mindset and emotional state of being. Hence all you have ever heard about rebound relationships.

The reason why he didn't act like a pig was because YOU didn't, this time, choose a guy who was a pig. FINALLY! You were so upset at the last guy, that you went outside of your normal habits and selected a guy completely unlike any other you had previously chosen.

YOU did it. Not some divine providence. In other words, you grew up a bit.
CONGRATULATIONS!

[TnL329]

Bipolar, I would say still stay in contact with him and just see where it goes. You can't just say no relationship till November. Life does not work on a timetable quite like that. At the same time if you are comfortable being single and want to continue to be that way for a while then stay single. Look at it this way. He is 3 hours away right now, so at your age a relationship at that distance is extremely difficult. So right now you can just talk on the internet, or on the phone for the next few weeks, months, ect. And the conversation don't even have to be deep, just hey hows it going, hows the day, just relax and let it go. If the convo gets to deep for the net, go to the phones. I know from experience you can get into a great relationship that way, plus when you finally do get to see him again, you won't have the nerves nearly as bad, you will already know a ton, and know you are both interested in each other. And you are interested in more than sex. That is what will lead to a lasting meaningful relationship.

As far as him being brought into your life for a reason, I am sure that he was. Just don't read to much into it. He could have been brought into your life to put a smile on your face for just one weekend, maybe so you could learn a lil about yourself for the future, or any number of reasons. I believe that things happen for a reason, but many of these reasons are not clear, or we may never know. You just have to ride the roller coaster as it happens.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The choices you have before you now are in consequence of the choices you made before. Accept the responsibility of your life. It is yours, own it. The idea behind "brought into your life for a purpose" is to rob you of this ownership, to assuade any guilt you may feel for having made stupid choices - to let you off the hook so you do not have to accept responsibility, and to make you feel good. If you have any self-esteem, you do not need it. You can say "gee that was stupid" without having it ruin your entire life. Instead of guilt, you chalk it up to experience, you learn from it, and you do not do it again. Instead of trying to run away from ownership - embrace it and set yourself free.

[lnt1103]

In my experience, many who follow the 'brought to me for a purpose' types of ideas are referring to their own definition of a Higher Power. That's not the same thing as zero self-esteem or shirking responsibility.

[TnL329]

I agree with Lnt. I have had many experiences which looking back on them, and even at the time, figured a person had been brought into my life for a purpose, or something happened for a purpose. In several cases it was to teach me a lesson, in some cases I think I had taken the wrong road, and they were leading me back to the correct road. I do, however, agree with Lnt, that most people say it when suggesting/referring to a higher power.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Well, it wouldn't seem that way to you based upon what you have said regarding your beliefs, Int. But it does seem to those who hold to a more rigorous creed like the easy way out.

[raez]

How we all feel about this being part of religion, belief, or just plain denial aside ( and I'm afraid if I chose to argue it, I'd be taking EEK's side here) the point is, you are 18 and considering diving into a long-distance relationship with someone who you really know very little of. Yes he may be a great guy, but save the long-distance stuff for someone who you have been involved with for a considerable amount of time before the distance was made, and actually are entertaining a plan of long term commitment with (and this situation is probably not something a teenager would be involved in anyway). Don't enter into a new relationship with it being long-distance..its a bad idea, and I speak from my own experience and from others. It takes a much higher level of commitment and future planning than any teenager should be making. Sure, keep talking to him if you must, but strictly on a friendly basis. You can't truly know someone unless you actually spend a great deal of time with them in the flesh so to speak..and even then you can't know anything for sure. And thats something you can't do if he is far away. A fling is a fling, enjoy it, but don't put too much stock into it.

the truth about long-distance...it may seem like fun, and kind of nice at first..long chats on the phone, instant messaging, flirtatious emails, whatever...but in the end you are stuck with strong feelings about someone you can't see whenever you like to act upon them or even just have a normal dating life with, while also being unable to pursue other options or tempted to "cheat" even though really who can blame you... it leaves you unsatisfied, miserable, and possibly even feeling just a little bit crazy.. Just don't do it.

[pink_menace]

i would have to agree that most
long distance relationship doesn't
work at all...
but just give it a try.... it's still nice to have
him to think of, than thinking about your ex.
and get depress....

[EvilEvilKitten]

LOL @ taking EEK's side.

[raez]

lol
I guess taking sides sounds more antagonistic and juvenile than say, perhaps, "in agreement with"?
haha