Scared about the future.

[CallMeAl]

Bascially I'm seventeen and totally in love with my girlfriend, we are not only patners but also best friends too which is really awsome as it takes the intensity off the relationship sometimes. We have been dating for over a year now, and I'm scared of the fact that I may not be attending the same university as I her next year and I'm scared about the impact this could have on her relationship.

I have had two other sexual partners both of which were long term relationships but I couldn't say that I was in 'love' with them. The relationship I'm in now provides me with much more satisfaction and happiness than the others did and I don't like the idea it may come to an end.

Would you reccomend applying to the same University as my girlfriend or something else completely?

[Browser]

You're 17. If you two really love each other and want to make it work, you can spend four years with limited contact. Apply to the schools you like and make your decision without her.

[Mr. Saint]

You are still really young and have not met many people in your life (I am the same age). When you go off to college go to the one you want to go to and let her do the same. Stay friends but agree to see other people. If nether of you find any one else and still love each other then try and get back together. Or you two may find other people that you love even more and you two will just be good friends. The point is this, don’t hold your self back because of some high school romance, you still have a lot more living to do.

[TnL329]

Long distance sucks, but can work. Also, tho I am pretty young, from what I have seen most people go thru major changes between 18 and 24 years of age, so the person that you are so good with now, may not be the same person you will be so good with in 6 or 8 years. I have seen so many people be totally in love at your age only to find that is not the love for them down the road. My advice would be to give the long distance thing a try, but just realize that things do happen and people change. If you two are meant to be together forever, it will make it thru college and you will end up being together forever. My guess is that won't happen though. Life changes and begins to look different after college. That is when you tend to find out who you are, what you want in a partner, and where you want to go in life. Many times the people that were so important to you in and just after high school, aren't quiet the same. Your lives just take different directions.

[dancingdoc2]

I agree with Mr. Saint and TnL, although, while both replies are practical, Mr. Saint has a more realistic recommendation, IMO.

People who are dating high school sweethearts rarely remain together for long; moreover, as we continue to mature, we morph into much different personalities and often are not compatible with the same people a few years down the road.

As you become socially involved in college you will be meeting new and different people of both genders and finding that your perspectives about life and love will be evolving. More than likely you will find one or more women who are better suited to you at each of these stages. So, remain friends and keep the lines of communication open if it suits the two of you, yet agree that the two of you will date others. You'll no doubt find that this love will diminish as you new more adult and independent life matures. If you do not agree to date others, you will be robbing each of you a rich and rewarding social life as well as hampering your abilities to become more than who you are right now. You'll also very likely be lonely and bored stiff for four years.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Congrats but chances are very poor that you two will end up together. Sorry but the stats are against you. Both of you will change and grow during college - even if you do attend the same college - so it is time to relax and enjoy what you have WITHOUT regard for the future.

[CallMeAl]

Thanks for the advice, its a whole year before I go anyway, I guess I should just enjoy the time that I have left and simply enjoy myself at university. Whatever happens, happens for a reason so I guess I will just let fate take its corse.

[Ephemera]

Very, very good minset, CallMeAl.

You'll be happier for it.

[EvilEvilKitten]

No, no, no - wrong attitude - fate has very little to do with it and fear has everything to do with it. The uncertainty of it all is overwhelming and this leads to fear. Trying to hang on to what you have now is a symptom of that fear. Facing up to your fear is the only way to conquer it. Your attitude should be looking forward to building your life - the life you dream of and will get in due course. Replace fear with a calm certainty.

[pink_menace]

don't worry too much about the future....
i was once like you before...
young and in love (at least that's what i used to think)...
i went to study in another school...not quite far
from where he's attending.....
but yeah....things changed...people changed...
my life has change... and then I met the person I am
with right now....looking back i have no regrets at all....
and about two years ago....i met the person i was once
in love with...and the feeling wasn't there anymore....
you're still young...so don't end from there....take a leap...
who knows....