might be lying

[duh477]

I asked a girl to go out with me this week but she said she had some family event to attend which was fine, but I think she might be lying and hanging out with her friends i dont know why she would lie and just tell me she wanted to do something with them, if I find out that she is should I confront her and ask why or let it go?

[Ephemera]

Uhh... let it go?

It's none of your business what she's doing. If she says she's busy, she's busy.

[dancingdoc2]

What evidence do you have that she may not be truthful? A gut feeling is not always reliable, particularly with someone you hardly know and have experience with.

What does it matter? Everybody tells little white lies every once in a while, particularly if the truth of the matter may sound less less important or relevant to the other person. She may have had plans in place before you invited her and this right now is a more important activity. If so, did she handle it well? Maybe not, she coulda/shoulda replied that she would like to go out with you and for you to either ask her, again, later; or, to suggest an alternate date and time. That she didn't is no reason to be critical. You are not in her life and should not mount a "high horse" just yet. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, particularly when you really do not know the person and his/her motives. Even when you do, being overly judgmental is not a particularly endearing trait.

[duh477]

I heard her talking to a friend about plans they might have that day.

[EvilEvilKitten]

She is NOT your property! What she does or does not do is NONE of YOUR business. She said no - she's busy. Does not matter with what or with whom.

Clear your mind and move on.

[dancingdoc2]

If she showed any interest in you or going out, ask her again and take your cues from her answer. In the future always have a "Plan B". When you ask a person out, be prepared for an "I'm busy" and offer the person another time or day and time. (Would you like to go..... on Saturday or Sunday? Is 6:00 OK or would 7:30 be better?)

That she was busy is no reason to give up like you did. Since she didn't offer an alternative, you should have continued the conversation by asking if she would like to go out on a different day. If she said "no" then you have an answer. Had you continued the conversation, you may have gotten a better answer. Keep these tips in mind for the future.

[ducktales]

If she is your gf, its really not a big deal if she wants some time with her friends. Could it be that you are too controlling and this is the only way she can spend time with friends without you being upset at her?

If she's not your gf then does it really matter? She clearly has no interest in you if she is lying so she doesn't have to say no to you.

Regardless you don't own her and she can do as she wishes.

Why do you have a reason not to believe her, does she lie to you all the time? Unless she has already lied before there's no reason for you not to trust her. If she is making plans with her friend could it be that they are doing something during the day and she is doing something with her family at night? Its possible to spend time with more than one person in a day and maybe your date conflicted with her plans with her family and she already had plans with her friend that day she did not want to break.

Either way, let it go and move on.

[dancingdoc2]

> Either way, let it go and move on.

Why? Why not try my recommendation, first, then if she has no interest, move on?

Why stop or give up without at least ascertaining, first, where you both stand?

[ducktales]

I think its pretty clear if she lied to him she's not interested and just does not want to hurt the guy, otherwise she probably would have said "I have plans this weekend maybe another time," or "I'm busy this weekend but next weekend I'm free."

[cyclefreak]

Definitely let it go. Whatever reason she has for saying no is her own business. Confronting her would be unwarranted, and would show you up as a control freak. She would probably be offended by being confronted over it, and with good reason!