Another theard on help with a girl

[interestedevil]

Hello Everyone,

Normally I have no problems figuring out what someone is thinking or how about to go in a relationship. I have had several long-term and more here recently the quick flames that burn out quickly.

To get everyone up to speed on what I have been dealing with for the last few months I would classify as a nightmare. One of my old friends from High School days broke up with his girlfriend. They where living together and dated for around three years. He and I drifted apart after college when I moved off to another state and he stayed behind with her. When they broke up his ex and I started talking. I had a trip planned to go visit another good friend. We decided that we would have a blast going out and catching up. On our date we ended up kissing and spending the whole weekend with each other. We feel asleep in each others arms a few times.

She was getting ready to move to Las Vegas. We dated for a few months till about this time last month she started become withdrawn. She wouldn’t talk to me for some reason. Then she came out and said that she was unsure and wanted some time to think about everything that has happened. I had planned with other friends to go to Vegas to meet up with some more friends for the 4th of July. She and I talked and we really wanted to see each other. We agreed that it would be on a friend basis till she is ready. By the third day we where back to cuddling and she kissed me. We ended up falling asleep in each others arms once again. She has asked me to come out to Las Vegas again next month to see her for a longer time.

What I am having problems with is the back and forth that she is doing. One moment she really wants to be with me and then the next she is worried about something. She has been doing this off and on here recently. I know how I feel about her and she says the same thing. When we are together we are both happy and relaxed and have the time of our lives. I was hoping someone here could give me a little better guidance in this matter. Part of me is thinking that she needs more space and that I need to draw back and worry about stuff more locally.

Any help would be appreciated. Thank You all for reading and listening to me.

[dancingdoc2]

Yes, I agree with your assessment. Entering into a relationship right out of a previous one is never a good idea. It takes a year and sometimes longer just to clear a person's head and become grounded, again. Give the woman time and space in order to get over the old flame, become used to being by herself, before you or anyone else steps in.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Hmmm for once I disagree with Doc, and with you. The woman is being flaky and you should never permit this. If you two have NOT had sex then it is about damn time you should. If you two HAVE had sex then it is time to say "step up or step off". Why? Because including the time you two have known each other - it is well over the two year "do I know him/her" period and now it is time to consider yes or no to exclusive dating with a view toward marriage. Tis time, buddy, tis time!

[interestedevil]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Hmmm for once I disagree with Doc, and with you. The woman is being flaky and you should never permit this. If you two have NOT had sex then it is about damn time you should. If you two HAVE had sex then it is time to say "step up or step off". Why? Because including the time you two have known each other - it is well over the two year "do I know him/her" period and now it is time to consider yes or no to exclusive dating with a view toward marriage. Tis time, buddy, tis time!

She and I did have sex back when we first got together. It might have happened the last time when we where together but she was on her period at that time. Though I wouldn’t have been planning on it due to the conversations we had before I went down about what is what.

See my problem lies that she makes up her mind then changes it a few days later. I really don’t have the time or energy to be doing this. So I might need to put the foot done as you said and ask her what is what.

The distance isn’t that bad. We live about four hours apart at the current moment. My job allows me ample time off for travel. We also discussed about the distance and she agrees with me. That it is the person that matters not the distance. Also I am currently and have been looking to transfer to her area well before her and I got together.

Thanks for all the advice and just listening to the ramblings of what soon one day might be considered a crazy person.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Then you say Good bye and MEAN it. Either she grabs onto you or you're gone. That's the whole point of my advice. Enough pussy-footing and playing little girl games.

STAND AND DELIVER!