asian girl and white guy...please help!!!!!!!

[chococat]

im an asian girl, 26. i have been dating this white guy for about 5 months, he is 33. to be honest, i never have sex before and i want to wait until i get married and i also tell him about my belief. He has never been pressing me bout having sex with him ( which makes me even love him more) but i know that is not really happy. When we hang out at his place, things are heated up and we make out a little bit and he has to hold himself back. People, especially guys, please tell me that if its endurable for a guy his age not to have sex in a long period of time? and what can i do to save this relationship. im falling in love with him, and he is really a nice guy, i don't want to lose him. Am i selfish if i keep dating but never make love to him? i have tried to please him, make him feel good when we make out, is it enough or .....by the way, i cant stay over night at his place because of my overprotective parents. and he looks really unhappy seeing me leaving his place. what can i do, people????????????
I need help desperately. this relationship is going to an end without your help.

[Ephemera]

There are three simple words that will probably solve your problem...

Learn to communicate.

Tell him how you feel. If he respects you for it, then great. If not, you can't be with someone who doesn't respect your beliefs.

[CleverName]

Well, I think that at 26 you should be able to make your own descisions. Why do you need parental permission? Also, you dont have to have sex to please him, have you tried oral sex or anything like that? I think its great that you are sticking to your beliefs, however what if it turns out you are completly incompatible in bed with this guy? I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now, and I still am not sure about getting married. That is a descision I might make after dating someone for at least 4 years or so.. Understand marriage is supposed to mean THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, so i would take a bit of time to even think about such a desicion..

The truth is, sex is an important part in a relationship. Yes, it is probally very hard for your guy, especially if all you do is make-out and that probally just turns him on alot and makes him want it even more. No, you are not being selfish, it is your body and you do what you chose with it. I hope that for someone you are considering to spend the rest of your life with, you have at least done a bit more then make out a little...

And out of curiosity, does he share the same beliefs as you? If he doesn't I don't understand why you would be intrested in someone who does not believe in something that you feel so strongly about. I hope you made this descion not to have sex until marriage not because of what you have been taught by your parents, but because of your own personal beliefs.

[Zorbgoddess]

Whatever you do... don't give up your beliefs just because you feel guilty not giving it up to him, or because you were pressured into it. You Will Regret It Later. If he respects you he will wait. Otherwise find someone who will. Do as Ephemera stated and TALK TO HIM about it. The one thing that is most important in any relationship is good communication. You'll have to learn to talk to him eventually or it'll never work out in the long run.

*It's frustrating for guys, but not the end of the world to not have sex with someone after making out.

*Note to CleverName.... In some cultures and religions parents have control of their children until they are married off. Please think ahead and be courteous when making such comments.

[CleverName]

Originally Posted by Zorbgoddess

*Note to CleverName.... In some cultures and religions parents have control of their children until they are married off. Please think ahead and be courteous when making such comments.

Ah I didnt think of that, I apologize.

[chococat]

Its my own idea of keeping my virginity until marriage. my parents didnt tell me to do so. I want to wait and give it to the man of my life who loves me unconditionally. though this guy is a good guy but since we are only dating for 5 months, i am not really sure about the future with him. I'll try to talk to him. thanks for all of your comments.