*sigh*

[JohnnyD37]

So the girl I've been dating since last January is going to school in September.
She decided that we shouldn't try to make it work, she wants to be on her own for awhile once she moves. We both want to stay friends though. We even talked about maybe settling down together in a few years...

I love her and She is honestly the best friend I've ever had.

I just don't know what to do with myself.
I don't know hoe we could hang out and have it not be awkward.
And once I find another girl, how could she possibly trust me hanging out with her?

I don't expect any answers from you guys, but I just don't have anyone else to talk to at the moment.

[constantlylearning]

Perhaps a blanket statement of sort, relationships and graduations are difficult
situations for many. For example, finishing one portion of your education say
at the collegiate level then entering the working world or going for post graduate
work and having to make difficult relationship decisions are hard and probably
there is no "one" perfect answer. I do remember that time and seemed as if the
right decision simply couldn't made. Kinda of a darned if you do or darned if you
don't scenario. Good Luck and hopefully things will fall into place Usually they
do even if it doesn't seem so at the time.

[JohnnyD37]

Thanks.
Part of me knows that, but we had initially decided to make it work...I just had so many things that I had looked forward to doing with her (non-sexual).
I'm sure things will work out in the end, i'm just afraid that she won't even want to really be my friend anymore. She's going to be meeting alot of new people.
She's my best friend......I just don't want her to go.

[Mr. Saint]

I left a girl behind when I finished high school. We were not madly in love with each other or anything like that, but it was still sad. We said that we would stay friends but that did not work out very well. We talked on line for a few months, over time we just started talking less and less. I saw her a couple months ago at a convention I was speaking at and she was a completely different person. I think long distance relationships are ridicules. Try to stay friends and date other people. Who knows, you might get back together after school.

[Gorgeous Mistake]

Quit being so needy. She's made her decision, all you can do is deal with it and make the best of it. Stop being so worried about what she's going to be doing and about her "meeting a lot of new people", this was bound to happen. Don't be scared just go on and live!

About her being your best friend
If your relationship as friends was strong, this wouldn't be a real concern.

[arutha]

Originally Posted by JohnnyD37

I just don't know what to do with myself.
I don't know hoe we could hang out and have it not be awkward.

If you do not think you can be around her without it being awkward, then don't. It is a fair enough thing, tell her you need some space and a chance to get over her and you don't want to hear from her. In a few months, or maybe even years, you may well be able to contact her again and be friends when you are completely over her. Most people need those few months of no contact to get used to life without the other person.

As for your next gf, trust is an important thing and she would need to trust you if you say you are over her and just seeing her as friends. If she can't do that, thats her problem. Everyone has friends of the opposite sex, and lots of people have exes in the same friendship circle.

[lnt1103]

Johnny, have you conveyed all of these feelings you're having TO HER????? Communication is the ultimate key to any relationship. Sit her down and open yourself up to her. TELL HER.

[constantlylearning]

INt1103, that is simply another piece of super advice from you. Honesty, although
it maybe difficult or hurtful in the beginning, is always the best route when true
feelings of the heart are at play. It's not the easiest thing to deal with but better
to have at least tried. This thread conjurs a lot of memories so I have a small
understanding of how this feels. Mine was just reversed with the guy going
and the lady staying.

[lnt1103]

Thanks CL. I'm in a long distance relationship myself. It actually STARTED long distance and we're moving closer very soon. Communication has been the cornerstone for us. There have only been 2 nights in 9 months that we didn't speak on the phone, and we talk about everything, and nothing at all, and whatever falls in between.

So first of all, with all due respect, perceived ridiculousness of long distance relationships is in the eye of the beholder. So whoever said that is entitled to their opinion, but the one I'm in is pretty damn fantastic.

As a general rule, if the relationship is important enough to the people involved, it will survive the distance. Even as chanages occur in one or both parties, if the communication stays good, the two can adapt together and keep the relationship strong. No relationship worth its joy is always simple. Be willing to work and you'll most certainly reap the rewards.

[constantlylearning]

I could not agree with you more INT. What's worth having is worth working
for PERIOD. If trust and open communication are paramount in a relationship
then more than likely at some point things will be stressful. I am not sure
the timeframe of the original poster (what stage of life) but regardless it is
difficult. For me the "one" approaching the collegiate days was the most
difficult. Going off to play and sort of leaving it all behind. It's hard and in the
end part of life I suppose. It's funny that as time passes one's mind has a
tendency to quickly reflect back and wonder what if.............again, that is
probably part of human nature. Hopefully, the hurt will subside and your path
will become easier.