Another age question

[Mr. Saint]

First a little background about the situation. Recently I started a thread called “going to class for a girl”. So I went to the class, got the girls number, and have been hanging out with her a lot for the last couple weeks. I found out that she is a bit younger then I thought, she is three years younger then me. We are both under the age of consent so legally there is no problem. The last few times we talked, the conversation tuned from the normal kind of friend conversation, to a flirtatious, interview type conversation. We are both in the same year at the same university and have a lot of classes in common. She is doing a double major in Mechanical Engineering and Pre-Med, I am doing a double major in Mechanical Engineering and Discreet mathematics. We are at the same emotional level and at close to the same academic level (she is probably a little smarter then me) I think. My last couple relationships were sexual and she has never had a boyfriend. We both have one more year at the same university before I move to the east coast for MIT and she goes to Stanford. We are both busy people, she takes almost a double lode and I take over a full lode and a research project at UCB.

So here is my question. I can not stop thinking about her and I know she is in to me. So how wrong would it be for us to date considering that she is so young? And, should I ask her out on a date?

[lnt1103]

As long as everyone's on the same page about what everyone wants from it, go for it.

[dancingdoc2]

Ditto. Now, please read what I have had to say about dating. Just keep it light and do not enter into a committed relationship. In other words, allow each other to date other people whether you or she actually do or not.

If you work at making your friendship meaningful and thus satisfying there is no reason why you cannot keep the lines of communication open while at each end of the country. By keeping in touch and not on a relationship level, you just never know what might happen a few years down the road.

As the two of you attend your new schools, you'll both from new friendships and from these probably one or more people to date. This is all well and good and as it should be. Dating is all about finding Mr. or Ms. Right from among the people we come into contact with. Maybe you'll find someone more suitable to settle down with, maybe not. Same goes for her. Either way, if you keep in touch you do not close any doors or burn any bridges so the future will always hold possibilities for the two of you.

Nothing ventured...nothing gained. Go for it.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Excuse me? What are you two? Child prodigies? How can one be at university and yet still be "under the age of consent"???

[Mr. Saint]

She truly is a prodigy. She has been in college since she was 12. She has already been invited to finish her undergrad at Stanford and has been Pre-accepted in to Stanford Med.

[rdan05]

College at the age of 12? Perhaps she needs to develop social skills? Date causally; not long term ties. If she has never been with a man; I suggest you Kinsey score be considered due to potentially traumatizing her unless she has homosexual encounters and is mainly heterosexually predominant (assuming she has not engaged in intercourse). For a young woman accepted into college at 12, she may find your interests in her nice but become very disturbed if she found out about your homosexual encounters since she may not fully understand the world.

You said you have a history of locking yourself up in your work & not calling women. How do you think she would feel about that since she never had a boyfriend? Things to think about. You are 18 and she is 3 years younger being now 15? And on to medical school for her at the age of 16? I never heard of a Medical School, especially Stamford, accepting a freshman medical student at 16.

At your ages, dating should be not an issue since you do not have to hold full time jobs as well despite taking a double load of academics.

Try being kids, if you are 18 and she being 3 years younger, you are an adult man she is still a child at 15 for an 18 year old man.

[Mr. Saint]

I lie about my age on a regular basis, so I apologies if I lied on this site out of habit, everything else I said about my self is true. I am not actually 18. I turn 17 in November and she is 14. I will be under age until I move to the east coast. She is a bit closed off but surprisingly normal for her intelligence level and I am sort of the same way. I have been in college since I was 14. She lied to me about her age at first but later confessed to her real age. Oh yea, one more thing, she came on to me first, which is very unusual for her personality.

[Ephemera]

It baffles me that kids going to MIT don't know the difference between "than" and "then", but that's how the world works. I know many kids who are incredibly proficient in physics, yet cannot master the more basic rules of grammar.

14 and 17 can be a big emotional difference. However, you're both odd cases, so maybe you're emotionally ready. If there is any doubt that she isn't mature enough for you, then don't pursue it too heavily.

[funinthesun]

I'm with Doc, but EMPHASIS ON KEEPING IT LIGHT.

Intelligence does not mean emotional maturity or vice versa. There are all sorts of unique issues that pop up when attending courses when younger than most of your peers. More exist when the courses are at a higher level requiring intense time commitments so time spent developing social skills is sacrificed even more.

In your field, at your school, you will find that as you advance certain things take a ridiculous amount of time to complete even though you might learn them quickly and find it easy. It is the hardest transition for students who breeze through most prerequisite courses( I classify prereqs as everything through Diffeq 2, lag-lead compensator theory, Heat Transfer, and Navier-Stokes derivation + application btw). This leaves very little time, and the emotional maturation process almost always gets put on hold. Emotional maturity is, in fact, the quality most severely lacked among your demographic.

The girl is 14, and while she seems normal, probably hasn't had many close relationships in her life. While your professional life may be similar, a girl starting college at 12 and a guy starting college at 15-16 who now has sexual experience is not in a similar emotional state. Keep it light.

While I don't know either of you, I've said the above because I've attended the prodigy schools as a child(though I switched out of them to a pro athletic career), have and do work with many of their graduates, and keep having to deal with them having lots of past issues and scars that are extremely detrimental to their social relationships in their 20's. I hope you two take your time to enjoy life outside of the endless work and scientific learning. You have a whole lifetime to research and discover, but only a few years to grow up before the growing pains associated with it happen in the real world.

[lnt1103]

Nothing against either of you, but child prodigies have a tendency to get caught up in their prodigious pursuits and lose their childhood. Keep it WAAAAAAAYYYYY light. Just because you both entered college already doesn't mean you're necessarily ready for adult relationships and all that goes along with them. Do yourselves a huge favor-be teenagers. You have your entire lives ahead of you, don't rush into adulthood without enjoying your 'kidhood'.