DATING--Rules: how to and how not to

[pursonmax]

With respect to your public opinion and in disrespect to your sense of immorality, reading these lines brings about tangible proofs of human’s step back in corrupt-minded by what the vehicle of TV shows, movies etc…are projecting to the society awareness…This is horribly shocking to reading such lines, more especially at discovering a certain way of learning (newly learnt) developing skills (that help us determine what we like and do not like in a person. By dating lots of people (even at the same time) we expose ourselves to lots of likes, dislikes, quirks, interests, morals, values, goals, mannerisms, ideals, etc., et cetera, etc.) etc… OMG…!

I’m very sorry to have to express it in that way, but this is a gross shame about this philosophy and is further devoid of any sense of morality to the extent of being criminal and odious to attempt sacrificing loads of innocent hearts to the benefit of personal knowledge interests…!

Whatever the reply could be, experiences, developing values, discovering people can be made without engaging in dating…Socializing is the perfect platform for that…There’s absolutely no need any to venture in dating to get to know someone…!

The point is there, anyone willing to get into serious relationship has to show serious undertakings as well…this is not the place nor the area for trials at random…people are not your cans of beer when empty you may throw away vulgarly…! Shame on you!

I’m outraged by reading this: “Because dating by its very design is not and should not be exclusive, and there is no legal contract, there can be no "cheating". And what about the moral obligation to sentiments involved therein then? Even animals are instinctively able to choose one and same female to procreate and being faithful to its congener…!!! Why humans can’t then….?

Tracking commonly on the same road is very important to materialize marriage between the engaged…it starts from a decision of quality and enough determinations to achieve the aim…It’s very, very rare to find the exact matching to live alongside forever…Being aware of, love will then imply sacrifices from both actors just to merge characters, cultures, point of views, differences etc…and this is what makes love something extraordinary and outstanding…The real fight of love resides in then sacrificing some habits, some selfishness attitude by molding it to one of your partner…and this game is mutually played in harmony to satisfy not oneself, but what love requires to get born in between…!

Love isn’t finding each other but to accept each other’s imperfections, weaknesses and qualities…I mean, love is composed of both positive and negative…

The winner of love shall imperatively fight against these fundaments that will lead to true and real love…!

If you want to get married to Mr. Right, start by being faithful and more mature to your approach…Start by being ready for facing reality at trying to discover, exchanging, valuing and listening to your partner…He/she will sense your attempts and deference to this relationship and you may expect from your undertaking to get same in return…there’s no need to get through repeated trials through harmful dating to succeed in your task, but be ready to give and to receive…By taking repeatedly and lengthily to your targeted one may reveal your one…you just have to let the heart speak…! Trust it…love resides there and not in cruel attempts…!

[Newtolove]

I think your pushing the explanation to extreme and bear in mind that I'm sure dating is meant as going out with someone on the understanding that it "may" lead to more than friendship and not running around screwing the whole town. I think the advice is aimed at teenages who take their first loves all too seriously and don't understand that they are stepping stones in learing about themselves and others unless of course its love for life but thats rare and does occur none the less.

to end, you've only made 1 post so I guess you've not been around alot and surely not long enought to appreciate dandingdoc so don't be too fast in knocking him, he's always offered very sound advice and I'm sure has replaced many an incompetent parent throught these boards.

[ButterflyKisses]

I think the term dating is used too loosely. It seems to have different meanings in different contexts as well:

To be currently dating. (As in dating people in general.)
Going on a date. (The act of actually going out with someone.)
And dating someone. (Seeing only one person.)

The last one, I think, is where the meaning of dating can get fuzzy. You could say dating as in you're just currently seeing each other frequently, like going on dates, or actually dating them, as in you're together.

I think dating one or two or even three people (like Dancingdoc said), will only lead to complications. It seems too much like multi-tasking to me. Thats not the way to learn commitment either. Maybe some people here (those who don't believe in exclusive relationships until thinking about marraige etc etc) might think it inappropriate for me to have this opinion, but being 18 and having a boyfriend, I would not be happy to find out that while being with me, he was also seeing one or two other girls.

And how can you, by just dating people over a period of time, pick one you want to marry? Sure, dating is the process of getting to know someone, but I don't think that until you are in a more serious, exclusive, relationship with that person can you really understand the innerworkings of their personalities and fall in love. Just going on dates with someone won't lead to truly loving someone for who they are and deciding you are ready to settle down with them and marry them. I, for one, am not ready for marriage and haven't been with my boyfriend long enough to establish a real serious relationship, but I'm not about to see other people while we consider each other our significant other.

[Meggers04]

Is the 3 day rule still in the Market now-a-days?

[dancingdoc2]

This is like asking if people still wait to have intercourse for the first time as Part 2 to their wedding ceremony. I suppose it depends upon how important it is to you. I believe that etiquette is still appropriate and so waiting to call and chat and set something up for the near future is good. Calling too soon after the last date, when you do not really know each other all that well can appear to be "needy" or anxious. Playing it cool whets a girl's appetite for more.

[ChiChi23]

i never been a date, i recently asked a girl out on a date and she said yes, im new idk wat to do help me wat if i bored her?

[dancingdoc2]

> i never been a date, i recently asked a girl out on a date and she said yes, im new idk wat to do help me wat if i bored her?

Congratulations on taking that first step.

Relationships are partnerships, that said, discuss various possible activities with her.

* Suggest activities you would like to do
* Suggest activities you think she would like to do
* Ask her what her interests are and what she would like to do.

Now, if she has no preference, select one of her suggestions, or one of yours she likes. This is particularly important if you are planning to go the the movies and there are choices.

It sounds like you may not have noticed yet, but females of the species are generally pretty chatty creatures. Ask them an open ended question and stand back because many will talk about the subject at length. All you have to do is take mental notes about various things she says and interject questions. You'll find that this is a great way to learn about her and also to pass the time.

As for you, do not be tight-lipped. Talk to her and tell her things about you, yet do not go overboard and tell her everything there is to know about you. Keep a lot of facts and figures in reserve and dispense them over time. You'll whet her appetite for more and you will have things to talk about over the next several dates.

What if you bore her? Well, if she is the chatty type, this probably won't happen, particularly if you show interest in what she is saying and ask questions once in a while. If you tell her some things about you and what you are doing, discuss the movie or whatever other activity you are doing, then you should be fine. If you run out of things to say, don't fear silence; however, you can tell her you have run out of things to say and ask her for help.

Please familiarize yourself with the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people write in about. You will find several articles about dating, kissing, and, making out.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[WhateverHappens]

what happens if you are dragged along to someone elses date because you 'lighten the atmosphere' because u are the type to make a total plonk out of yourself publicly but actually you dont wanna be there but just dont know how to say it?

[dancingdoc2]

Have you ever heard the expression little boys often tell one or the other parent: "you aren't the boss of me!" Let's fast forward a few years: Who is the boss of you, now?

If you do not want to go, you will have to say so. If this is so difficult that you cannot, then analyze why not.

* Are you all about pleasing others at your expense?
* Would you go if you (also) had a date?
(If so, ask the others if you can.)
* Other?

At some point you are going to have to step up and take charge whether it is this situation or something else; otherwise, you will forever be a "doormat".