Moving on help.

[info_junkie]

So my boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago (wow that went fast!). And I did it for the right reasons. Mostly distance between uni and him. And we are still friends, which I am glad on as we didn't end on bad terms at all. Its just I was really really unhappy with the distance and only seeing each other maybe 2 days every 6 weeks. He apparently saw this coming and was really upset too.

Thing is even though I ended it and I know it was right, I still really care for him and I am finding it difficult to move on. I kissed a guy recently, felt extreme guilt, then panicked and left (classy eh?). Sorted out with him so no bother.

I am struggling to move on.

Its probably not helping that we still chat occasionally, but honestly he is still a good friend of mine.

I need advice really I guess.

Irony of being a psychology student is I can study the material, but I cant sort myself out. Typical.

Cheers

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yes, it is typical. Why are feeling guilty? You aren't married to your ex so - all's fair. You can be friends with an ex; its not unheard of. You two just aren't lovers anymore. Fine. No big deal. Grab hold of your life and get on with it! Stop being "exclusive". Play the field. Enjoy your sexuality and share it whereever, with whomever, and whenever you please. Life is good but you have to LIVE it!!

[sera300]

Here is a good "game" for "missing the ex"...figure how many days/evenings you are free to date, you know the ones when your friends are all out on dates, and line up as many different ones you can. Go out, get to talk, & know the men [really know each one]. See who is worthy of your time, eliminate ones of "no interest" as needed, add a new one. Only date men suitable of your time & don't waste your time [or theirs] with people who are questionable--should know by the third date.

Let none very close, be friends, keep the deep emotional attachments away for another few years. Stay friends with the ex. When ready see where you are.

[dancingdoc2]

It has been said many times in many ways: the purpose of dating is to go out with lots of (different) people and to experience what humanity has to offer. "Different" means more than one person, and, it means experiencing a variety of likes, dislikes, goals, ideals, quirks, morals, interests, etc.

Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us.

Dating should not be "exclusive". Had this former relationship not been exclusive then you would not be having these guilt feelings. By not being exclusive with a person until you find Mr. Right and are ready to settle down, then you eliminate all the drama and trauma.

Move on, date lots of other men, and if you want to remain friends with this last boyfriend, do so. Just do not hold on to those feelings because they will prevent you from living your life to the fullest.

[info_junkie]

Thanks for all your friendly and helpful advice. Will see what happens next. Any who I am off to the cinema