getitng things going

[rlgates]

ok..

I have been single, again, for going on two weeks now. IT SUCKS!!!!! Ok, got that out of me!

Now, I have been trying to meet people on a number of daing sites. Trying being the Key Word here. Now, one or two things are going on...

One: people on these sites are so stuck up they are not willing to give anyone a chance!

Two: They think they are better then everyone else!


But, safe thing to say is this... Two sites, $200 some odd dollors later, I cant get a single person to so much as reply to me. here is what I get:

Eharmony, email about a match, get there, MATCH CLOSED!!! Never get a chance to so much as say a word!

Cupid.com, get a match, try to talk and nothing, or they say I am not what they are looking for!!!

The few other sites I am looking on are about the same...
Your not my type
your not the race, age, look, I am looking for
You dont make money to support me
you make less then me
you make more then I do
you are to far


Some I under stand, but still..... HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD DO YOU GET SOMONE TO REPLY TO YOU!!!!!!! if anyone has any idea....PLEASE let me know!!! and the next person that says, there is somone out there for everyone.... YOU WILL DIE!!!! I am so sick of that line...

[Ducy]

There is someone out there for everyone...

(Figured id take the bullet rather than a more important contributer of this site)

[sera300]

Look on Plentyoffish...how to capture? You don't. Be less intense--women & men reek of needing a person; makes many run.

[dancingdoc2]

Do you live in a large city, town, or rural community?

Unless you are very rural, I recommend letting family, friends, and coworkers, know that you are interested in meeting people and dating. Doing so is called "networking". The more people you have searching for you from among the people they know or know about, the more chances for finding someone will be.

In addition, if there are social clubs, hobby organizations, sports activities that interest you and in which women enjoy, participate in one or more. Gain exposure.

If you are in school, get involved in one of the organizations on campus.

[emilie]

Desperation is not an attractive quality. Why are you so unhappy being single? Is it the companionship, the sex or the need for affection?

In terms of people saying you're not a good fit.. what's wrong with that? They're being honest. Do you really think a relationship is going to work out if all you're doing is settling? How low are you aiming?

[rlgates]

I live in a small town about 30 min south of Richmond Va. There are not many clubs in this area..and the people that hang out in them are not the type that I want to get in with...

I have gone to almost every person I know, and a few friends of theses and noone knows anyone. That is why I am using dating sites now..

As for why I hate being single, it is the companionship and the affection that I miss most.

How low are you aiming

well, I am not low, but, I have my age range I would like to stay in, race, which is my own business I belive, and how far I am willing to travel for the match. My thing is...getting the poeple who dont slame the door in my face, to reply to me and get to know me..

What do I say or how do I say it...

[sera300]

Originally Posted by rlgates

I live in a small town about 30 min south of Richmond Va. There are not many clubs in this area..and the people that hang out in them are not the type that I want to get in with...

On occasion you may meet women who had their girlfriends drag them out for a rare night. Don't find much in bars or clubs if in a small town.

I have gone to almost every person I know, and a few friends of theses and noone knows anyone. That is why I am using dating sites now..

If you are in a small town--true. Dating site might be an okay matter but I would look to meet organizations where people share your own values/morals/beliefs.

As for why I hate being single, it is the companionship and the affection that I miss most.

Seriously, have you considered volunteering at you local animal shelter???? Why? A nice man walking a dog/or training as a volunteer is a huge draw to me & most women. Plus you get the bonding time with a pet who needs it.

well, I am not low, but, I have my age range I would like to stay in, race, which is my own business I believe, and how far I am willing to travel for the match.

I think right here is the essential part.--your above statement. Do you know there are other sites which allow you to do on line dating based on your criteria??? It would be interesting if you shared your info, personal thoughts, values, wrote a profile of who you like to meet and ask a female or one on here--their personal thought. You wish for a limited parameter; therefore, you must limit your area. Then--tailor your profile to who YOU are and what you would like. I believe if you allowed someone open minded, unbiased, to read for you after you put a profile together...critical input may be valuable.

My thing is...getting the poeple who dont slame the door in my face, to reply to me and get to know me..

What are you saying which is causing such friction? Who is the intended audience and what DO you say which is causing women to shut down. Also, realize women get more emails from men then you can imagine who disguise themselves. Read 50+ a day, you have all sorts of nonsense!!! You would be shocked at what you read.

What do I say or how do I say it...

You have to give some answers if you wish an honest opinion. Sort of difficult for me to say you are X and Y age; seeking X and Y in a female. What are your qualifiers? Are you a man who dates within a specific race? Are you the same? What age groups? What religion do you want? Kids, are they acceptable to you? Or do you wish for your own? Do you like pets? If so, what type? Do you have a college education? And if so, or not, do you seek the same?

Why? When looking on-line you have to be discriminating or careful of your choices. People lie, fabricate stories, and over rep. themselves.

Do I discriminate? Yes. I will not accept a man close to my age or older who "Always wanted to get married but never found the right woman" WHY? I think he is a social introvert or has been under a rock his entire life. Second, although it play PART---can he understand my lifestyle & accept it? If I do not think so--nope. Past history of psych illness or abuse issues? (Why, I could not cope with this after my ex went Psychotic & refused help). These are answers I need/require from a man who wants to date me. In return I put forth the truth as well.

What values do you hold dear? What have you been doing with your life? How close are you to family? What type of man are you? Can you accept my immediate family since they are a large part of my life? That's what I look at. When younger; I wanted children (cannot have them now) I looked for good genes and someone who had the same values/ethics/morals. This included race, religion (could we compromise?), intelligence, ability to support his children, education goals for us or for our children, obviously kindness to me....etc.

First part was, does he wish to get to know ME or just tell me all about himself? Is he willing to disclose as I do, how do we communicate?

See what I am saying? It's a big and narrow picture--your choice to stay within you own race. I was accidently matched with a man & no photo [I never posted either on EH]. Met online & chatted with a nice man---main issue we figured when chatting...his parents expected him to marry a woman of color--he detected for some reason I was not (that was best figured out when we described the other's looks to the other prior to exchanging a photo). I had no concerns there, fine with me since raised nearly the same, but we got a good laugh since both had parameters set, and the computer screwed up. Funny part, we stay in touch! Became friends & yes, he married. I was asked but not in the US at the time of his wedding!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Talk like a reasonable human being and stop being lonely, desperate, and horny any of which sends the women running - AWAY!