Don't know who to pick

[DARK_storm]

Ok I've been seriously unlucky in the department of love. Im 20, still a virgin (not by choice), and my longest relationship was 4 months. After breaking up with my ex I took sometime off to be single and focus on other parts of my life. Picked up my grades in school and got promoted at work. Now I think I'm finally ready to get back into dating. Only problem is I have too many choices. There's this girl I know that works around the corner from where I work. We been out a few times and things were looking good (kissing, met her family who liked me). But she gave me the just be friends line. Although I'm not sure if I want to keep trying or just stay in the friendzone. Also I joined this dating site and I been talking to this girl who lives in my area. She gave me her number to call her. But I'm not sure if she has enough time for me cause she has school and a internship to occupy her time. And now I been talking to this girl in Utah and we been thinking about maybe having a long distance relationship. Were both single and we talk till 2AM and have things in common and say flirty things to each other. But I don't know which girl I should try to get serious with. Please someone help me sort out this mess.

[Ducy]

Okay....the first girl already answered for you....just friends...

The second girl is close to you...

The third girl is too far.

[dancingdoc2]

The purpose of dating is to date lots of people in order to learn what humanity has to offer us. By dating lots of people we have lots of chances to experience a variety of activities. By dating lots of people we encounter a variety of likes, dislikes, quirks, goals morals, religious values, etc. This places us in a much better position to recognize Mr./Ms. Right when this person comes along.

Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Dating should not become exclusive until a couple is ready to get married.

My recommendation is to date using the "Implied Consent" technique that works like this: A person is participating in an activity or a relationship because s/he wants to. There does not have to be a declaration nor a decree of exclusivity. Implied Consent gives us silent permission to proceed until one or the other person says or otherwise indicates a change is necessary or a boundary has been encountered. IC is a powerful tool because it keeps us from asking if everything is OK or can I do this or that or for some other confirmation or approval. These are freely given along the way just as saying "I love you" is given as a confirmation and statement of fact. A person does not have to ask for reassurance on some matter because unless or until there is a disapproval, the positive is implied by the person's willing participation and interest in being with the other person.

If you do not know what your friend's interest in you is, you can ask, or, you can just continue to be friends, try upping the ante' by asking her out and by doing more things together that involve each of you more in each other's life. If it goes well, then you know she wants more in and of a relationship. You have your answer without asking and while doing things together. If she does not want more you will have that made clear.

Long distance relationships do not generally work well. They are only practical with a relationship or a marriage that is already in force. An LD interaction between strangers is no more than a pen pal status at best. In order for a relationship to have a chance you and the other person have to be together and interact on a personal close contact basis. Talking on the phone into the wee hours of the morning may be fun and productive yet it does not put you into contact with the real person--only a voice. You have no real idea who or what is behind the voice.

I tried dating services years ago and had some fun with them. We would always meet at a restaurant or cafe in which the front door swung both ways. At worst we had an hour or so of conversation, generally a pleasant or at least an interesting evening. At best, this initial contact lead to one or more dates. On line dating might be OK if you are contacting people in your own locality.

Better me thinks to network. Inform family members, friends, and coworkers that you are interested in dating and ask them to help you find someone. Having several people looking for you is generally a good thing.

Next, join a social organization, sports club, or hobby related club in which women also participate. These are available on and off campus.

[sera300]

Date as many as you can until you are ready to start to settle down. The one who is "just a friend" stay a friend and keep going out. Issue is the is no choice here of "just one", just keep dating & be nice.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Stop thinking 'just one' - date as many women as you can talk into it! Mix it up a bit!

1. go where there are women - the kind you think you'll like
2. look over those available
3. if you catch her eye, hold her gaze for 20 seconds -if she looks away quickly - she's not interested; if she holds your gaze for the full time - she's interested
4.break eye conact and then sometime, no rush, over the next 10 minutes, go to her and introduce yourself. Ask her what she likes about whereever you're at and then just converse from there for 15 minutes.
Ask for her number, say it was very nice meeting her and you'd like to see her again.

Part 2 when you come back with at least three phone numbers